"don't lie."
Things are going so terribly wrong lately.
I've realized that all of my intelligence has been wasted, because the past few years, I have made myself stupid. Honestly. Whenever an incredibly smart thing comes into my head, I quickly brush it out and try to convince myself that I have no grasp of what my brain just thought about. Lately I've been correcting all of my teachers on complex things nobody else understands. And I'm no where near as ditzy as I make myself out to be. The only problem is that I feel so overwhelmed with everything that all I want to do is sit and sulk. I don't want to go to work [I successfully called in sick today] and I don't want to go to school. Even weekends aren't as stunning as usual. I feel like even if my wildest dream came true, right now, I would be able to stifle it and turn it into something discouraging in a matter of minutes.
Something has got to change.
I've realized that all of my intelligence has been wasted, because the past few years, I have made myself stupid. Honestly. Whenever an incredibly smart thing comes into my head, I quickly brush it out and try to convince myself that I have no grasp of what my brain just thought about. Lately I've been correcting all of my teachers on complex things nobody else understands. And I'm no where near as ditzy as I make myself out to be. The only problem is that I feel so overwhelmed with everything that all I want to do is sit and sulk. I don't want to go to work [I successfully called in sick today] and I don't want to go to school. Even weekends aren't as stunning as usual. I feel like even if my wildest dream came true, right now, I would be able to stifle it and turn it into something discouraging in a matter of minutes.
Something has got to change.