dec 27 5:40am
I'm sitting in my car 20 mins before work. I can't help but think that going in to the navy might have been the biggest mistake I have made in a long time. As much as it might be good and will look good. I can't help but wonder if I should stay in the states with my new family n tough it out. There's no jobs in the navy while I have a job now that pays kinda well. I have this gut feeling that I shouldn't join the navy any more. Like if I am shipped out that I'll never see home. I'll be serving my country and protecting it but I wont be able to protect my family from the immediate dangers. It weights heavily on my chest. I just don't want to burden anyone with my demons. Alas I do feel the happiest I've felt in awhile christmas was amazing. I loved every minute with my family n it brought all kinds of smiles to my face. It leaves me second guessing the Navy.
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