(no subject)
Christmas has been my least favorite holiday since I was about 16. The stress and obligations are rediculous. The stores make you choke on it starting in October. And Christmas in Florida...is way different from in the movies. I don't like Christmas, but I love it in Florida. I could never imagine having snow, and snow men, and fancy neighborhoods entirely done in lights, and scarves and gloves on Christmas morning. Waking up to a scene from Home Alone or Jack Frost is just so...fake almost, ha. I can honestly say that I would miss tanning on Christmas Eve or Santa on the beach if I were somewhere upstate. I am glad Decemeber 25th is pretty much over and done with.
This Christmas, I lost a boyfriend and gained a dog. All in the same day. My feelings are mixed. They are going to be for a very long time. I'm not gonna lie. I loved that boy. Alot more than I ever should have and alot more than he deserved to be loved. But thats who I am, and I have to accept that I can't blame myself for not being loved in return. I was the best girlfriend I could possibly be. I was honest. I was trustworthy. I was caring. Affectionate. Thankful. Thoughtful. Loveable. And in return, I was always disappointed, offended, or hurt. I miss the beginning so much. I always will. When we used to go on adventures. And wrestle. And makeout. And not fight. I'd give anything to go back to this time last year. Ha...I'd give anything to go even further back than that, but I have missed that boat 6 years ago. And all the boats in between. I have a puppy now. I couldn't have asked for anything more. He has already filled my heart with something I've been missing for a while. I love him so much already, and I want him to stay small forever.
I feel like crying my eyes out. When I remember that I know I did the right thing, it helps me hold it back a little better. But I can only supress so long.
My puppy is asleep in the crack of my couch, on his back. He is so tired, he can't keep his head up. I'm pretty sure its the cutest thing I have ever seen in my entire life! <3
Sam and I are painting my bathroom/kitchen tomarrow night. I am so glad. I am so thankful to have such a wonderful friend like her. Two thousand and nine is going to be a year to grow. For the both of us. I have no plans for 2009, other than to pay off my credit card debt, save and take more photos and to help my best friends new house become a home. Whats meant to happen, will happen. And hopefully when it does, I'll be able to afford it. That is my goal. Sammy, thank you for being so proud of me all the time. You organize my mind, and make me smile. I have never felt more loved by a friend.
I have a boy to sleep in my bed with me every night now, and lick my face with love in the morning, ha. That thought alone makes me incredibly sleepy...
This Christmas, I lost a boyfriend and gained a dog. All in the same day. My feelings are mixed. They are going to be for a very long time. I'm not gonna lie. I loved that boy. Alot more than I ever should have and alot more than he deserved to be loved. But thats who I am, and I have to accept that I can't blame myself for not being loved in return. I was the best girlfriend I could possibly be. I was honest. I was trustworthy. I was caring. Affectionate. Thankful. Thoughtful. Loveable. And in return, I was always disappointed, offended, or hurt. I miss the beginning so much. I always will. When we used to go on adventures. And wrestle. And makeout. And not fight. I'd give anything to go back to this time last year. Ha...I'd give anything to go even further back than that, but I have missed that boat 6 years ago. And all the boats in between. I have a puppy now. I couldn't have asked for anything more. He has already filled my heart with something I've been missing for a while. I love him so much already, and I want him to stay small forever.
I feel like crying my eyes out. When I remember that I know I did the right thing, it helps me hold it back a little better. But I can only supress so long.
My puppy is asleep in the crack of my couch, on his back. He is so tired, he can't keep his head up. I'm pretty sure its the cutest thing I have ever seen in my entire life! <3
Sam and I are painting my bathroom/kitchen tomarrow night. I am so glad. I am so thankful to have such a wonderful friend like her. Two thousand and nine is going to be a year to grow. For the both of us. I have no plans for 2009, other than to pay off my credit card debt, save and take more photos and to help my best friends new house become a home. Whats meant to happen, will happen. And hopefully when it does, I'll be able to afford it. That is my goal. Sammy, thank you for being so proud of me all the time. You organize my mind, and make me smile. I have never felt more loved by a friend.
I have a boy to sleep in my bed with me every night now, and lick my face with love in the morning, ha. That thought alone makes me incredibly sleepy...