radom bs
oh god ......here i go again ....falling for things i KNOW i cant have. why you say.........maybe its the one thing i just cant control,or i just need a reason to keep my heart bumping or to be the bad girl..........who the fuck knows.sometimes late at night i just want to get in the car and just feel the cool breeze on my face and shoulders with my hair blowing in the wind ,songs playing soooooooo loud they become my heartbeat. trapped like a rat,but i made my nest ...and its a good life ,but ,maybe the buts can go on forever .im too old to wonder anymore .fitting in will just have to be let go so i can just live . i want newyork nights and blinking lights to be my lifeforce and be lost in crowds who just dont give a damn but live to see the horde blending in the streets like ants. i need rudeness but in a way i can live with it . i need all night tyrants with a typewriter and a person i hardly know. vodka and rum have been holding out on me for years. they are saving me a spot in the ally. 9 to 5 are just chains and numbers. who the hell even needs money when words are so much more .the houses ,friends,jobs,and the money ........it wont be anything when your alone it will be these nights when you learn and the ones you remember. aloneness rules the world. time to jumpstart this night , hell ill make everyday a night then let the freedom ring. isnt this the land of the free? but im not free ,are you ,really? these chains of freedom are fucking heavy and i cant distances myself fast enough. the only thing that is perfect is a simple thing _ circles. never beginning or ending . no wonder i never sleep. this was just 5 minutes in my mind that goes on faster then my fingers can type. its time to turn the clock off and stop taking . i cant be that girl anymore .tomarrow i'll give it a run for its money.......let the race begin