down
I've been feeling really down lately...I would say that I don't know what it is, but that's not true. A big part of it is the fact that I spend so much time alone in this house- my roommates are around some of the time but there are lots of very quiet afternoons and evenings to myself. I lie awake at night, listening for someone breaking in because I get so freaked out knowing I'm home alone.
Talbot's is really pissing me off. Way to cut my hours to practically nothing right in the middle of the summer, when it's too late to get a good job. I applied to Bed, Bath, and Beyond, and it seemed like they really were going to hire me, but the manager said they were going to call me with an offer like twice and they never called. I was theoretically supposed to start training on Monday but he didn't call at all today either, and if they don't call by tomorrow then fuck it. I'm considering waitressing but I have no experience which means I would have to work somewhere like Chili's where you get basically zero tips due to the lovely cheapskate clientele.
Then there's Campus Philly. I like the work, but the fact that I'm not getting paid and that I have to keep working there (for free) until basically halfway through August drives me crazy...I feel like I haven't gotten to do anything fun this summer. If it weren't for CP, I probably could have gone home and worked at the Talbot's there and actually gotten some hours in and made some money and not have to sit around this fecking empty house all the time.
Summer is half over and I have yet to see the ocean. My roommates have all gone to the shore several times, one got to spend an all-expenses paid week in Nantucket, another has been to Vermont twice for a week at a time and is heading to California for her 21st. I get an occasional night out at the bar or have some people over once in a while. They all talk about fun shopping trips and dinners out and nights at the bar all financed a bit by their minimal non-social life ruining babysitting careers and mostly parental monies....
So basically, I go to work and come home and stew in my own juices because I can't really go anywhere. It's not even a lack of a car keeping me from going somewhere; as a matter of fact, I have become a SEPTA bus route master this summer. You know, I should just take up professional napping to pass the time at home.
I really just want school to start so my remaining undergrad friends come back and we all get into our normal school routines and so I can get my stipend and stop worrying about paying bills.
And on top of it all, graduating has made me realize how close the real world is and I still have NO IDEA what I want to do post-masters. On my way to CP today, I thought about living at home and going to law school at the Univ. of Baltimore (probs not smart enough for that), heading to France to go do that teaching program I almost applied to for this year (what about student loans?), heading back to Ireland and being an overeducated waitress, and failing those, living in a box on the streets because I'm 21 years old and just really don't want to have a real job, ever.
Oh, and this is really whiny, but can I just please mention how ANNOYING it is to watch your roommates be showered with expensive and tear-jerkingly thoughtful gifts from doting boyfriends while you have no suitable prospects yourself? Enter jealous rage now.
Yep, that was me whining. A lot. Mom's probably going to tell me to delete this, but I have no one else to whine to except cyberspace, so too bad, Momma.
Talbot's is really pissing me off. Way to cut my hours to practically nothing right in the middle of the summer, when it's too late to get a good job. I applied to Bed, Bath, and Beyond, and it seemed like they really were going to hire me, but the manager said they were going to call me with an offer like twice and they never called. I was theoretically supposed to start training on Monday but he didn't call at all today either, and if they don't call by tomorrow then fuck it. I'm considering waitressing but I have no experience which means I would have to work somewhere like Chili's where you get basically zero tips due to the lovely cheapskate clientele.
Then there's Campus Philly. I like the work, but the fact that I'm not getting paid and that I have to keep working there (for free) until basically halfway through August drives me crazy...I feel like I haven't gotten to do anything fun this summer. If it weren't for CP, I probably could have gone home and worked at the Talbot's there and actually gotten some hours in and made some money and not have to sit around this fecking empty house all the time.
Summer is half over and I have yet to see the ocean. My roommates have all gone to the shore several times, one got to spend an all-expenses paid week in Nantucket, another has been to Vermont twice for a week at a time and is heading to California for her 21st. I get an occasional night out at the bar or have some people over once in a while. They all talk about fun shopping trips and dinners out and nights at the bar all financed a bit by their minimal non-social life ruining babysitting careers and mostly parental monies....
So basically, I go to work and come home and stew in my own juices because I can't really go anywhere. It's not even a lack of a car keeping me from going somewhere; as a matter of fact, I have become a SEPTA bus route master this summer. You know, I should just take up professional napping to pass the time at home.
I really just want school to start so my remaining undergrad friends come back and we all get into our normal school routines and so I can get my stipend and stop worrying about paying bills.
And on top of it all, graduating has made me realize how close the real world is and I still have NO IDEA what I want to do post-masters. On my way to CP today, I thought about living at home and going to law school at the Univ. of Baltimore (probs not smart enough for that), heading to France to go do that teaching program I almost applied to for this year (what about student loans?), heading back to Ireland and being an overeducated waitress, and failing those, living in a box on the streets because I'm 21 years old and just really don't want to have a real job, ever.
Oh, and this is really whiny, but can I just please mention how ANNOYING it is to watch your roommates be showered with expensive and tear-jerkingly thoughtful gifts from doting boyfriends while you have no suitable prospects yourself? Enter jealous rage now.
Yep, that was me whining. A lot. Mom's probably going to tell me to delete this, but I have no one else to whine to except cyberspace, so too bad, Momma.