she sings a simple song

Jan 03, 2016 17:10

ahhh the new year. that time yet again when I say that yes I'm going to start posting to my lj again. I guess as always only time will tell. (although now that I no longer live alone (more on that later) and we've both committed to trying to post once a week it will be easier. what is that? optimism? amaze.)

there was a post floating around tumblr (here if anyone cares) with topics for 365 days of journaling that I liked so I could reference it but I'm pretty sure daily posting is just never going to work for me. so I'm gonna go ahead each week and look at the topics and maybe list them here and then if they spark anything great, and if not I guess I'll just have to rely on my brain. the horror.

1. Your New Year’s Resolutions
2. Personal fact file.
3. Review of 2015

1. I don't really do resolutions. I mean I guess I have my standard lose weight, exercise more, eat better. but I guess there are things I would like to accomplish this year. I'd like to read more (not just fan fiction, although that is a completely legit form of writing.) I just feel like maybe I need to read more books. and also maybe more subjects than werewolves and the boys that love them. FOREVER STEREK TRASH THANKS FOR ASKING. I'd like to volunteer. the one good thing about my old job was that they had a really strong commitment to volunteer work and I got to do some pretty great things. but now it's on me to seek out groups I'd like to work with. and that shouldn't be that hard to do, but it's one of those things that I think I let overwhelm me pretty easily. that should be something I work on as well I guess. stop letting anxiety get the better of me. I know it's okay to bow out of stuff and the need to recharge, but don't let it control you. I'm working on it. there's more that I know I want to tackle this year, but actually making resolutions turns them into things I can fail at and I don't like to approach things that way. so uhhhh. there's stuff. that I'm gonna try to do this year. yes.

2. I feel like if you've been around here for any amount time you know this stuff but I guess it doesn't hurt. my name is Regina. I just turned 45 which mostly just confuses me because I could swear I was just 30 like a couple of years ago? apparently it's been more than a few. I'm a Capricorn in so many ways but I'm not, nor am I ever likely to be overly ambitious. but still I maybe have a few too many of the personality traits to dismiss it out of hand. I'm short, I have sort of ludicrously small hands and I usually describe myself as chubby because even after years and years of trying to become okay with my body, I don't like the word fat. if you self identify as fat then rock on with your bad ass self. it's part family bullshit, part societal bullshit, part mental block I've never been able to get past. so chubby works and you know. work in progress blah blah. I have blue eyes and hair that is supposed to be light brown but is faded red at the moment with a few streaks of blonde and purple. I'm covered in freckles and if I'm out in the sun for more that 10 minutes without some sort of sunscreen I'm going to be paying for it later. after many years of trying to figure out my sexuality I'm still not really sure but tend to use bisexual and pan-sexual fairly interchangeably. either way it's not like I'm all that visible. what else? I love the ocean, tea, dogs and cats in equal amounts, roller-coasters, fandom, sushi, Halloween, and my friends. I hate raw tomato on sandwiches, sharks, slugs, fandom, below freezing temperatures, and clowns.

3. most years I hate this topic because I'm like uhhhhh did I do anything over the last year besides work? well I did work a lot but also. THINGS. HAVE. CHANGED. the first few months of 2015 saw me suffering thru my last cold winter in the mountains of Arizona before finally moving back to California at the end of April. at that point my mother put me to work at the restaurant I swore I would never go back to, but what are you gonna do when you're living rent free across the street from the ocean? you're gonna shut up and do a job you hate because most of the people you work with are ones you grew up with and it's strangely fun this time around. (even if restaurant work is still a terrible choice for an introvert.) this continued thru the end of October and then at the beginning of November I packed two suitcases and my laptop bag and hauled my butt across the country. a little over a week in NJ while we did superfun adult things like HowlerCon and then not so fun adult things like finishing packing and then driving down to Florida.

after a 12 year absence I am finally back in Florida. I can not explain why this place feels like home, but it does. it's insane, the politics are terrible, there's more people around me than I really care to think about, but it's the only place I've ever lived that I was really happy. so outsideherhead and I finally sucked it up and got out of our respective lives and decided to move back down here. and no, we're still not dating.

I don't know there's been a lot of great stuff this year (my mom and I spent a lot of time wine drunk over the summer) and I'm honestly not sure how to look back on a year that doesn't have any huge dark spots. (well okay hitting the first anniversary of my dad's death wasn't a picnic, but I was also with my family so that helped.) and sure there were bad things here and there but they just don't stick out as much as the good. I know 2015 was hard for a lot of people but I can really only look back on it fondly. which is a new and different thing for me.

---
for my own reference and also because I'm so out of the loop on what fandoms everyone is in:

Teen Wolf (someday I will learn to love myself)
The Originals
Penny Dreadful
MCU
Star Trek (the new trailer looks good!)
Star Wars (give me all the Finn/Rey/Poe. ALL OF IT.)
The Raven Cycle
probably more things that I'm forgetting about. currently rewatching Supernatural and being angry that the first few seasons are so much better than I remember.

my fandom participation seems to be pretty limited to reading fic and reblogging nonsense on tumblr these days but I'm always up for babbling about things I love. ♥

rl: almost like a grown up

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