everything is A.O.K
yesterday * went to the gym with kelley. watched tv.. talked to some people online call it a night..
today * track at 10;30 a.m. jess picked a jew like me up.. im getting better at throwing maybe ill be ina meet soon i just wanna get good =).. went home took a nap.. waited until tom got home she toke me n kelley to the gym stayed there for about 2hours.. tanned well more like hot red breasts..
so call it quits or get a grip say you wanted a solution you just wanted to be missed call me a safe bet im betting im not im glad that you can forgive im only hoping as time goes you can forget
* the daddy drama is over.. tom [my mom] told dad that he should talk me about his problems and that im under enough stress and i cut over myself i dont need to get doing it over him.. i didnt tell her i did she just kinda knew i was. =( before that dad called tom at work [he broke my promise that he wouldnt call her b/c shes getting a raise and the last thing the boss needs is collect calls] he told her that he did something that will get him locked away.. later at 10;30 he called me i talked to him he said he didnt do anything bad and he didnt mean to make me worry about it.. its human nature to make other people worry about you but to the point were i cant deal with it along with my problems.. tough. he kinda got his act together i think for now atleast. 45years and your still a screw-job. ahh im cursed with this life..
* im trying to do better for myself.. im not full of myself any bit maybe thats the problem no confidence at all.. i tried to pick out something i liked about myself i couldnt barely do that.. i like ears thats pretty sad too.. trying to do better by : my new anti-depressant, im working out, im tanning, going out more.. i guess im also trying to be pretty so i could feel pretty inside -- hopefully it works.. or im doomed
* ahh im really sick of people saying to me the same old thing.. "nikki, im sorry im so sorry.." every person who was ever said that im sorry line has shattered me.. getting lonely.. im not going with my back up plan.. going back with him im stronger than that i cant allow myself to do that again.. i need someone whos more my type this time and i need to see him.. i always thought friends playing matchmaker doesnt work out but im having a lil more hope in some sence.. im talking to someone really rad. ok shut up and dont jinx it.
* oh yea tom stay strong sweetie its not easy. your great dont let her play with your head. =) just take it one day at a time.. im always here for you no matter what ive been threw it.. ive always let myself go from her too.. its not easy but not too hard either.. just realization helps.
ex's & oh's
high + low 5s
lotta ♥ nikki
today * track at 10;30 a.m. jess picked a jew like me up.. im getting better at throwing maybe ill be ina meet soon i just wanna get good =).. went home took a nap.. waited until tom got home she toke me n kelley to the gym stayed there for about 2hours.. tanned well more like hot red breasts..
so call it quits or get a grip say you wanted a solution you just wanted to be missed call me a safe bet im betting im not im glad that you can forgive im only hoping as time goes you can forget
* the daddy drama is over.. tom [my mom] told dad that he should talk me about his problems and that im under enough stress and i cut over myself i dont need to get doing it over him.. i didnt tell her i did she just kinda knew i was. =( before that dad called tom at work [he broke my promise that he wouldnt call her b/c shes getting a raise and the last thing the boss needs is collect calls] he told her that he did something that will get him locked away.. later at 10;30 he called me i talked to him he said he didnt do anything bad and he didnt mean to make me worry about it.. its human nature to make other people worry about you but to the point were i cant deal with it along with my problems.. tough. he kinda got his act together i think for now atleast. 45years and your still a screw-job. ahh im cursed with this life..
* im trying to do better for myself.. im not full of myself any bit maybe thats the problem no confidence at all.. i tried to pick out something i liked about myself i couldnt barely do that.. i like ears thats pretty sad too.. trying to do better by : my new anti-depressant, im working out, im tanning, going out more.. i guess im also trying to be pretty so i could feel pretty inside -- hopefully it works.. or im doomed
* ahh im really sick of people saying to me the same old thing.. "nikki, im sorry im so sorry.." every person who was ever said that im sorry line has shattered me.. getting lonely.. im not going with my back up plan.. going back with him im stronger than that i cant allow myself to do that again.. i need someone whos more my type this time and i need to see him.. i always thought friends playing matchmaker doesnt work out but im having a lil more hope in some sence.. im talking to someone really rad. ok shut up and dont jinx it.
* oh yea tom stay strong sweetie its not easy. your great dont let her play with your head. =) just take it one day at a time.. im always here for you no matter what ive been threw it.. ive always let myself go from her too.. its not easy but not too hard either.. just realization helps.
ex's & oh's
high + low 5s
lotta ♥ nikki