Way to make me feel like an asshole

[lovedunce]

I have this camping trip set up for the 13th of July right. To celebrate my birthday. Hazza, whatever. This has been in the making for QUITE some time. I mean I have been thinking of going camping for the party since April. Everything is finally comming together and everyone who was invited is excited to go. Activities have been planned, meals have been talked about, and the campsite is almost bought. YAY. Well you should also know that my Grandfather is going into the hospital at the end of this month for his double bipass. Even more yay right...(thats sarcasm there). The grand-rents have three children, and two of them live in Florida. All of them have been talking about going to Alabama in shifts to help out the g-rents. Things are still underway but it is almost positive that my mother will be going first, on the week of the 4th. And obviously I would love to go too, to help out and such. My uncle wanted to know if I was just gonna stay there...for the rest of the recovering I guess. Second week is when my Uncle is supposed to show up. Second week happens to end with the 13th, you know...that special day of party (not my actual b-day, but when I wanted the party). So thats what I said, "I have a camping trip on the 13th." My dad looked at me and said something along the lines of I dont have to go to the camping trip right? I said pretty much plain out that there were people that were invited and this has been going on for a while and it would be pretty shitty of me to all up and say, oh I am cancelling. He then continued to make fun of me by saying "cuz your friends would hate you if you told them that you were going to spend time with your grandfather after he had bipass surgery instead." Yeah, thanks dad...way to make me feel like an asshole. Go ahead and make it seem like I dont give a shit. But wait there is more, "What would happen if I died between now and then...'oh sorry I can't go to the funeral I have a camping trip.'" Yeah keep going you jerk, rub some more salt in the wound. Make me feel like I dont even deserve life. I'm sorry that I treat this like my grandfather is still gonna live, sorry that if you died I would try my damndest to live normal and go camping anyway, to try to be happy. Thankyou for making me feel like the bigest damn bastard in the world. I have to tell you this is doing nothing for my depression problems....-_-

Other than that I have no job, I have not hung out with my friends all that much since being home, I hurt my damn wrist because my dog knocked me over, and my worries about the next school year are validated by my unmotivation and no attempt at returning the paperwork that says I am commin back. God, I so do love living...it would be about 100% better if the society we have now would just crumble and we were made to live with nature like intended.