BT is funny as hell
I missed more shows than I realized. But no worries I caught up! In time to watch the ep tonight. YAY. Anyway thats not really all that important.
I have seen the movie "She's the Man" and please if you have also seen it lemme know. In this movie there is a guy who is sensitive, damn good looking, and does not like to think about girls in "graphic terms" PLUS he is not gay. Sound like a dream? You bet he does. And here is the real questions...where the hell do I find one? Or maybe it should be "Do those exist?!"
I keep waittin around for "the" moment when I feel I will be ready for a stable steady maybe even longdistance relationship. I am gettin damn tired of waitting. Even without waitting for that I dont have any dates lined up anyway...so I dont know what me being ready has to do with it. FYI longdistance means two hours driving distance...I wanna see the guy. And this is weird because I am the one who is all "you dont need a man to define your life, no one 'needs' a relationship its just a want" And I really do feel that way. But damnit all I really WANT a guy. Im just ready for the small time to be over and for me to step into being the adult...the one who has her life figured out for the moment that has the relationship that can see the plan comming together.
Know what really takes the cake to sucksville? Thinking you are over something, when every once in a while you can still picture what it would be like with him. And the thought that brought this on? "My Best Friends Wedding" Funny, no? I was watching the end of that movie today and the thought that popped into my head? I can SOOOooo relate. And after that images of life, had it been different...had I been different. Had I just said yes. But I didnt know then, I should have...it should have been obvious. Maybe I just like to live in this tragic romance movie life I made for myself. But, I get so tired of Ifs and Maybe going through my head. I know that it is done, there is happiness on one end and I can accept that. Hell he still does not know, at least I have not told him and if he figured it out he has not let on. And the cherry on this cake? I said we could not be the same after what he did and I can still picture this other world where everything turned out all right....how in the world does that work? DAMN if my own self does not betray me...why am I so at odds?
I have seen the movie "She's the Man" and please if you have also seen it lemme know. In this movie there is a guy who is sensitive, damn good looking, and does not like to think about girls in "graphic terms" PLUS he is not gay. Sound like a dream? You bet he does. And here is the real questions...where the hell do I find one? Or maybe it should be "Do those exist?!"
I keep waittin around for "the" moment when I feel I will be ready for a stable steady maybe even longdistance relationship. I am gettin damn tired of waitting. Even without waitting for that I dont have any dates lined up anyway...so I dont know what me being ready has to do with it. FYI longdistance means two hours driving distance...I wanna see the guy. And this is weird because I am the one who is all "you dont need a man to define your life, no one 'needs' a relationship its just a want" And I really do feel that way. But damnit all I really WANT a guy. Im just ready for the small time to be over and for me to step into being the adult...the one who has her life figured out for the moment that has the relationship that can see the plan comming together.
Know what really takes the cake to sucksville? Thinking you are over something, when every once in a while you can still picture what it would be like with him. And the thought that brought this on? "My Best Friends Wedding" Funny, no? I was watching the end of that movie today and the thought that popped into my head? I can SOOOooo relate. And after that images of life, had it been different...had I been different. Had I just said yes. But I didnt know then, I should have...it should have been obvious. Maybe I just like to live in this tragic romance movie life I made for myself. But, I get so tired of Ifs and Maybe going through my head. I know that it is done, there is happiness on one end and I can accept that. Hell he still does not know, at least I have not told him and if he figured it out he has not let on. And the cherry on this cake? I said we could not be the same after what he did and I can still picture this other world where everything turned out all right....how in the world does that work? DAMN if my own self does not betray me...why am I so at odds?