Dear My Love...
Title: Dear My Love
Pairing: Ikuta Toma x Yamashita Tomohisa
Rating: PG
Summary: Toma just wants to make him happy. Extreme FLUFF/SAP.
Disclaimer: Sad but true.
Notes: This was written back in December 2004, so it's not really... that great XD I edited it here and there from the original version, but it's pretty much the same as when I had first written it.
Yamashita Tomohisa, the more I get to know you, the more I wish for your happiness.
I always position myself next to you, imagining that the next thing I'll do is take you in my arms and let your head rest on my shoulder. I often find myself leaning closer to you, just to let the sweet smell of your hair fill my senses, the soft strands tempting me until I want to simply pull you close and bury my face into it.
One day I would like to walk through the crowds with you, just two of us, as a couple. I want to let it be plain to any passerby that you are mine. In the meantime I dwell in this utopia that I often visit these days; the world consisting solely of you and me.
Of us.
I don't like to tempt myself on purpose, but I can't keep myself away you.
I love the way you smile at me. I love the way you always confide in me first. I love the way you tell people I'm your best friend.
And, I love... you.
...Yamashita Tomohisa. Let me be your happiness.
December 2001
The halls were bustling. Stage workers and make-up staff dashed back and forth, making last minute check ups before showtime. It was nothing unusual. Toma dodged a couple of people going the other way, barely noticing when more than a few of them gave him quick up-and-down glances to make sure he was all ready. Keeping close to the wall to avoid more traffic, he made his way to the dressing room that he and the other members of 4tops shared.
Finding the door slightly ajar, Toma peeked inside, knowing that he would find his friend. Sure enough, Yamapi was sitting in a make-up chair, already dressed in the costume that they were going to wear for the opening performance. He was looking blankly at his reflection, the light from the light-bulb lined mirror reflecting off his unblinking eyes. Seeing him like that was eerie. "Yamapi?"
Yamapi blinked and shook his head, as if he had suddenly been pulled from the air and back down to earth. "Toma," he said, acknowledging the latter's presence at the door. He twisted around in the chair, gripping the back of it. "Sorry, I spaced out. Um... did you say something?"
"We're on stage in five minutes." Toma added in a worried voice, "P-chan, are you alright?"
"Un." Yamapi nodded his head once as he got off the chair and followed Toma down the hall. "It's... nothing. I didn't sleep very well last night."
"If you say so." Toma masked the concern from his voice this time. He wasn't going to push the subject right now, but he knew when Yamapi wasn't telling him everything.
{ your gentle eyes seem to pause }
"Looks I'm going to be the first to leave," Kazama said, picking up his bag and heading for the door. The day's shooting for Shounen Club had finished successfully, and they were once again in the dressing room, getting their things together. "Later, everyone!"
"W-wait! Kazama, you're supposed to give me a ride today!" Jun rushed to stuff his things into his bag.
"We've been here for a while already," Kazama leaned against the doorframe and waited, his arms crossed with an amused look on his face. "You should have packed up before!" In the hall behind him, some of the KAT-TUN members were leaving.
"Good work today!" Maru said, waving to them.
"See you tomorrow," 4tops chimed back.
"I'm ready!" Jun zipped up a pocket and slung his bag over his shoulder, going to the door.
Kazama unpropped himself from the frame. "We'll be going then."
"Bye!" Toma and Yamapi waved as the dressing room door closed behind the two departing members.
Now alone with his best friend, Toma carefully asked, "Why couldn't you sleep last night?"
Yamapi was facing the mirror, his open bag resting on the make-up counter. He had his back to Toma, who was sitting on the sofa positioned against the opposite wall. "Huh? Oh, that." A pause. "I was just thinking too much again."
"Worrying about your mom?"
Pi's lips curved. It was small smile, but a smile nonetheless. "Toma will always know me best," he said, more to himself than to Toma.
Toma's heart swelled with happiness at those words. "Don't worry too much about her, she wouldn't want you to. She has your sister to keep her company. She's proud of you, and wouldn't want you to turn away from your career just so that you can move back home."
Yamapi resumed carefully arranging his things in his backpack. "I guess so," he said softly.
"She'll. Be. Fine." Toma assured as he pulled himself off the couch and came up to Yamapi, impulsively wrapping his arms around him from behind.
Taken by surprise, Yamapi's hand wavered halfway to his bag. He slowly turned his head to look at Toma's head rested on his left shoulder. Quietly, "Toma?"
Toma realized what he was doing. As he started to pull away, he wondered what had come over him. He had never let his feelings slip before. "S-sorry, P-ch..." He stopped mid-sentence. Yamapi had grabbed his hand and was holding it still, pressed against his heart. "...an."
Yamapi turned his head to look at Toma again. Looking him in the eyes, he said firmly, "It's fine."
{ don't let that gentle hand go }
The silence of the room was deafening; it was as if it had been frozen in time. No, not frozen. Inside this room, between those two bodies, was overwhelming warmth. Yamapi closed his eyes.
Toma nestled closer against Yamapi's neck before finally pulling away and turning the other around to face him. Yamapi's eyes opened, questioning. Toma looked back steadily, trying to calm the wild beating of his heart.
He leaned forward and for the first time, their lips touched. Toma slowly guided Yamapi back, forcing him to sit on the counter. Yamapi's left arm came around his neck, the fingers of his right hand intertwining with Toma's.
The kiss lasted for a long time, like silk on silk, sending velvet messages to Toma's heart. Neither showed any sign of tiring until Toma pulled away, running a hand gently down the side of Yamapi's face to rest on his delicate collarbone. His other hand still held Yamapi's, which he now squeezed. "Come on, I'll take you home."
{ ... I have been thinking about you. }
Yamapi sat shotgun in Toma's car, waves of heat from the heater washing over him. There was a comfortable silence as Toma drove, each thinking warm thoughts about the other. Turning towards the window, he watched the city lights go by. It was a chilly winter night, and he noted that some buildings were strung Christmas lights. He leant his head on the glass and admired Toma, whose eyes were fixed on the road. And then he let his own eyes slip shut.
A while later, the car pulled up in front of Yamapi's apartment complex. Looking over, Toma saw Yamapi's head against the window, his shoulders relaxed and breathing even. Toma smiled, wondering if he should carry him up to the room. Deciding against it, he gently shook Yamapi's shoulder. "P-chan..."
The other's eyes opened slowly, disoriented at first and then looking at Toma after a quick glace out the window. "Ah... it was just so warm that I fell asleep."
"I know, I know, you mentioned you didn't get much sleep last night. You should get inside and rest up." Nodding, Yamapi undid his seatbelt buckle and stretched, rolling his shoulders. Then he grabbed Toma's hand again, wanting to touch him if only for a brief moment. "Thank you, Toma."
Toma squeezed Yamapi's hand and leaned forward, shyly giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "It's fine."
Yamapi reached into the back seat to get his bag and, opening the door, stepped onto the sidewalk. He peered back into the car. "Well... see you tomorrow then."
Toma nodded with a wave. "See you."
Yamapi turned and walked towards the building. He was halfway there before the feeling of warmth from Toma's car wore off and he was engulfed by the cold air as suddenly as if he had been hit by a wave. Stopping in his tracks, he blankly looked at the automatic sliding doors of the apartment in which he lived. He usually felt relieved entering those doors after a hard day's work, but today they looked so lonely...
Turning around, he saw that Toma still had his car parked by the curb, apparently waiting until he got inside before driving away. Yamapi bit his lip. He watched as Toma leaned forward over the steering wheel, looking at his friend worriedly, wondering what was wrong.
Yamapi started walking back to the car. Toma reached out to unlock the passenger door again.
"What's the matter?" The same concerned voice that Toma had used earlier that day.
Yamapi looked down. "I just... don't want to be alone tonight," he admitted. "Not after what just happened. I'm afraid that I'll be lonely and then tomorrow morning, if I'm not with you, it will just end up being..." His voice faltered. "...a dream." He finished.
Toma reached out and grabbed his wrist, pulling him back inside the car. "Then sleep over at my place tonight." He said simply.
{ are you feeling...? }
Inspired by "A Silent Letter" by L'Arc~en~Ciel • • • ☆
Pairing: Ikuta Toma x Yamashita Tomohisa
Rating: PG
Summary: Toma just wants to make him happy. Extreme FLUFF/SAP.
Disclaimer: Sad but true.
Notes: This was written back in December 2004, so it's not really... that great XD I edited it here and there from the original version, but it's pretty much the same as when I had first written it.
Yamashita Tomohisa, the more I get to know you, the more I wish for your happiness.
I always position myself next to you, imagining that the next thing I'll do is take you in my arms and let your head rest on my shoulder. I often find myself leaning closer to you, just to let the sweet smell of your hair fill my senses, the soft strands tempting me until I want to simply pull you close and bury my face into it.
One day I would like to walk through the crowds with you, just two of us, as a couple. I want to let it be plain to any passerby that you are mine. In the meantime I dwell in this utopia that I often visit these days; the world consisting solely of you and me.
Of us.
I don't like to tempt myself on purpose, but I can't keep myself away you.
I love the way you smile at me. I love the way you always confide in me first. I love the way you tell people I'm your best friend.
And, I love... you.
...Yamashita Tomohisa. Let me be your happiness.
December 2001
The halls were bustling. Stage workers and make-up staff dashed back and forth, making last minute check ups before showtime. It was nothing unusual. Toma dodged a couple of people going the other way, barely noticing when more than a few of them gave him quick up-and-down glances to make sure he was all ready. Keeping close to the wall to avoid more traffic, he made his way to the dressing room that he and the other members of 4tops shared.
Finding the door slightly ajar, Toma peeked inside, knowing that he would find his friend. Sure enough, Yamapi was sitting in a make-up chair, already dressed in the costume that they were going to wear for the opening performance. He was looking blankly at his reflection, the light from the light-bulb lined mirror reflecting off his unblinking eyes. Seeing him like that was eerie. "Yamapi?"
Yamapi blinked and shook his head, as if he had suddenly been pulled from the air and back down to earth. "Toma," he said, acknowledging the latter's presence at the door. He twisted around in the chair, gripping the back of it. "Sorry, I spaced out. Um... did you say something?"
"We're on stage in five minutes." Toma added in a worried voice, "P-chan, are you alright?"
"Un." Yamapi nodded his head once as he got off the chair and followed Toma down the hall. "It's... nothing. I didn't sleep very well last night."
"If you say so." Toma masked the concern from his voice this time. He wasn't going to push the subject right now, but he knew when Yamapi wasn't telling him everything.
{ your gentle eyes seem to pause }
"Looks I'm going to be the first to leave," Kazama said, picking up his bag and heading for the door. The day's shooting for Shounen Club had finished successfully, and they were once again in the dressing room, getting their things together. "Later, everyone!"
"W-wait! Kazama, you're supposed to give me a ride today!" Jun rushed to stuff his things into his bag.
"We've been here for a while already," Kazama leaned against the doorframe and waited, his arms crossed with an amused look on his face. "You should have packed up before!" In the hall behind him, some of the KAT-TUN members were leaving.
"Good work today!" Maru said, waving to them.
"See you tomorrow," 4tops chimed back.
"I'm ready!" Jun zipped up a pocket and slung his bag over his shoulder, going to the door.
Kazama unpropped himself from the frame. "We'll be going then."
"Bye!" Toma and Yamapi waved as the dressing room door closed behind the two departing members.
Now alone with his best friend, Toma carefully asked, "Why couldn't you sleep last night?"
Yamapi was facing the mirror, his open bag resting on the make-up counter. He had his back to Toma, who was sitting on the sofa positioned against the opposite wall. "Huh? Oh, that." A pause. "I was just thinking too much again."
"Worrying about your mom?"
Pi's lips curved. It was small smile, but a smile nonetheless. "Toma will always know me best," he said, more to himself than to Toma.
Toma's heart swelled with happiness at those words. "Don't worry too much about her, she wouldn't want you to. She has your sister to keep her company. She's proud of you, and wouldn't want you to turn away from your career just so that you can move back home."
Yamapi resumed carefully arranging his things in his backpack. "I guess so," he said softly.
"She'll. Be. Fine." Toma assured as he pulled himself off the couch and came up to Yamapi, impulsively wrapping his arms around him from behind.
Taken by surprise, Yamapi's hand wavered halfway to his bag. He slowly turned his head to look at Toma's head rested on his left shoulder. Quietly, "Toma?"
Toma realized what he was doing. As he started to pull away, he wondered what had come over him. He had never let his feelings slip before. "S-sorry, P-ch..." He stopped mid-sentence. Yamapi had grabbed his hand and was holding it still, pressed against his heart. "...an."
Yamapi turned his head to look at Toma again. Looking him in the eyes, he said firmly, "It's fine."
{ don't let that gentle hand go }
The silence of the room was deafening; it was as if it had been frozen in time. No, not frozen. Inside this room, between those two bodies, was overwhelming warmth. Yamapi closed his eyes.
Toma nestled closer against Yamapi's neck before finally pulling away and turning the other around to face him. Yamapi's eyes opened, questioning. Toma looked back steadily, trying to calm the wild beating of his heart.
He leaned forward and for the first time, their lips touched. Toma slowly guided Yamapi back, forcing him to sit on the counter. Yamapi's left arm came around his neck, the fingers of his right hand intertwining with Toma's.
The kiss lasted for a long time, like silk on silk, sending velvet messages to Toma's heart. Neither showed any sign of tiring until Toma pulled away, running a hand gently down the side of Yamapi's face to rest on his delicate collarbone. His other hand still held Yamapi's, which he now squeezed. "Come on, I'll take you home."
{ ... I have been thinking about you. }
Yamapi sat shotgun in Toma's car, waves of heat from the heater washing over him. There was a comfortable silence as Toma drove, each thinking warm thoughts about the other. Turning towards the window, he watched the city lights go by. It was a chilly winter night, and he noted that some buildings were strung Christmas lights. He leant his head on the glass and admired Toma, whose eyes were fixed on the road. And then he let his own eyes slip shut.
A while later, the car pulled up in front of Yamapi's apartment complex. Looking over, Toma saw Yamapi's head against the window, his shoulders relaxed and breathing even. Toma smiled, wondering if he should carry him up to the room. Deciding against it, he gently shook Yamapi's shoulder. "P-chan..."
The other's eyes opened slowly, disoriented at first and then looking at Toma after a quick glace out the window. "Ah... it was just so warm that I fell asleep."
"I know, I know, you mentioned you didn't get much sleep last night. You should get inside and rest up." Nodding, Yamapi undid his seatbelt buckle and stretched, rolling his shoulders. Then he grabbed Toma's hand again, wanting to touch him if only for a brief moment. "Thank you, Toma."
Toma squeezed Yamapi's hand and leaned forward, shyly giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "It's fine."
Yamapi reached into the back seat to get his bag and, opening the door, stepped onto the sidewalk. He peered back into the car. "Well... see you tomorrow then."
Toma nodded with a wave. "See you."
Yamapi turned and walked towards the building. He was halfway there before the feeling of warmth from Toma's car wore off and he was engulfed by the cold air as suddenly as if he had been hit by a wave. Stopping in his tracks, he blankly looked at the automatic sliding doors of the apartment in which he lived. He usually felt relieved entering those doors after a hard day's work, but today they looked so lonely...
Turning around, he saw that Toma still had his car parked by the curb, apparently waiting until he got inside before driving away. Yamapi bit his lip. He watched as Toma leaned forward over the steering wheel, looking at his friend worriedly, wondering what was wrong.
Yamapi started walking back to the car. Toma reached out to unlock the passenger door again.
"What's the matter?" The same concerned voice that Toma had used earlier that day.
Yamapi looked down. "I just... don't want to be alone tonight," he admitted. "Not after what just happened. I'm afraid that I'll be lonely and then tomorrow morning, if I'm not with you, it will just end up being..." His voice faltered. "...a dream." He finished.
Toma reached out and grabbed his wrist, pulling him back inside the car. "Then sleep over at my place tonight." He said simply.
{ are you feeling...? }
Inspired by "A Silent Letter" by L'Arc~en~Ciel • • • ☆