i can't live, if living is without you...
the rest of my family went xmas shopping for me, so i'm home alone -- thank god. i really need to be alone right now. it's getting harder and harder for me to pretend i'm happy when i'm not, especially in front of my family.
god, i hate myself sometimes.
let's see, so far today i've been wallowing in misery (but can't seem to pinpoint it) and listening to sappy-ass music {aka mariah carey "without you", luther vandross "love the one you're with", saves the day "nightingale", and christmas type stuff} and just being super-emo. & i hate it. a lot.
saves the day is magic, i really love them. the song "freakish" is really beautiful in my opinion:
"well here i am, don't know how to say this. only thing i know is awkward silence. your eyelids close when you're around me, to shut me out..."
i don't know, i guess it's depressing but i find it pretty. cause i'm like that.
i wish someone would call me.