Dec 24, 2003 21:15
yeah so its christmas eve. shouldnt i be happy? how ironic that im not. if you guys dont want to be sad on xmas eve, dont read this. & whatever you do dont fucking comment, and tell me to get a life. this is my journal, and i can legally say anything i please. with that being said. here goes;
so your supposed to lean on your friends when your sad, or upset. funny how everyone ive tried to talk to, ignores me. or is like 'oh amie things will get better, its just a phase' yeah, i imed those few that i did, with the hope that they would make me feel better, or atleast attempt. but i guess i was wrong, like i am 90% of the time now a days. i just find it hilarious that after everything i do for people, they cant so much as offer me comforting words in a time of need. maybe its just the fact that i dont do enough. or maybe people are just using me because they know ill do anything for them. with my luck, i probably dont even really have 'real' friends. just people that feel sorry for me. i hope that isnt the case, i hope there are a few people out there who really do love me. but with what im seeing. there arnt. i just feel so lost, its pathetic. maybe im the one thats pathetic, not my feelings. :/ i dont know why im feeling this way, but i really hope someone helps me. atleast makes me smile. that'd help alot. but im starting to believe thats too much to ask. i used to think that i was unique & individualistic, but now i feel as if im just a part of the crowd. maybe thats what i am. i just wish life was easy again. it sucks to feel like this on christmas eve, i really wish i could be happy. but not everyones wish can come true. especially not one as worthless as mine.
merry christmas everyone...
xo