Only fools rush in - RAGING spoilers for Season 2 ep 5 & 6
Written for Sunday Funday 23th of October and posted here because it wouldn´t fit in a comment box. Enjoy!
Only fools rush in
Rated: K
Pairings: Carson/Hughes
Disclaimer: It could not be less mine. Julian Fellowes wrote Downton Abbey, which is produced by Carnival Films for ITV Network.
Spoilers: This story is based on the preview for season 2 episode 6, so if you don´t want to be spoiled, stay away!
Summary: Can Elsie give him a reason to stay?
Genre: angst/romance… in that order
A/N: Just a thank you for all the wonderful stories of this week and some wistful thinking on my part. The story isn´t beta-read, sorry!
***
The question who she wanted to strangle - and happily so - the most at the moment, was finally resolved. It had to be Mr Carson, Elsie decided.
Lady Mary Crawley had been high on her list for a good part of the day, her anger with the young woman so profound she could barely manage to remain polite. Fleetingly she realized she couldn´t even really relish in her fury. It was after all very hard to remain put out with a woman who had over the course of the last months turned into a caring, responsible, selfless person, obviously burdened by her own share of heartache.
But despite all that, where did the girl find the bloody nerve to ask Charles Carson of all people to leave Downton and move with her to Sir Carlisle´ residence? The man could perhaps boast on an even deeper devotion to the estate then Lord Grantham himself.
But what infuriated her even more was that Charles seriously seemed to consider Lady Mary´s request.
So it had to be Charles Carson then who had to bear the brunt of her fury. Especially after their little conversation before dinner in his pantry. In a hushed tone, never really meeting her eyes, he had told her all about it.
´Will you agree to go with her?´ she had asked, almost breathless from the shock.
He´d given a small shrug. ´I haven´t made my mind up yet.´
´You are not seriously considering leaving Downton, are you?´ Despite all the effort she´d put in keeping her emotions at bay, she noticed to her chagrin that her voice had definitely acquired something of a high pitch.
´Don´t tell me you´ll miss me,´ he had replied, trying to pass it off as a joke.
Her answer had been as simple as it was honest. ´I will, Mr Carson. Very much.´
It had been his look of complete and utter surprise that had left her seething with anger. She had left his pantry quickly and marched off to her sitting room, quite ready to spit nails. Could he be anymore oblivious? Was there really nothing else in his mind than the precious Crawley family he so faithfully served? Was he really that blind, that ignorant of what was so obviously staring him the face? Could he really not grasp the simple fact that she would miss him terribly if he went away? That the mere thought of him leaving filled her with an almost paralyzing feeling of dread?
She had just barely recovered from the latest stunt that insufferable man had pulled on her - working himself in a state and collapsing in the dining room, scaring her to death. Had he recovered from that only to be snatched away from her by a girl who was determined to continue on her road to destruction?
Could she ever give him a reason to stay? Would the one reason she could offer him be enough for him?
***
Around midnight, when the family had finally retired for the night she found that her anger had still not decreased in the slightest. The best course of action now would be to avoid him until it had, but when she realized she still had some invoices lying on her desk that she needed to give to him, she knew she would have to go up and see him after all. Resolving not to be drawn into another argument again, she made her way to his pantry where she found him sitting behind his desk. Wordlessly he took the invoices from her and she noticed his composure was slightly slumped and that his eyes looked weary.
The words were out of her mouth before she could control herself. ´Have you given the matter anymore thought?´
´It hasn´t been from my mind all evening,´ he confessed, walking from behind his desk to put the invoices away in the filing cabinet.
´I still have trouble believing you are actually considering leaving Downton,´ she told him, fighting to keep her tone even.
He gave a little shrug. ´Lady Mary seems keen on having an ally when she moves to London to start her new life. I got the impression she was feeling a little apprehensive…´
Any concept of remaining collected went out of the window.
´Mr Carson!´ she exclaimed a little more vehemently then she had intended. She lowered her tone quickly, but her voice lost none of the exasperation she was experiencing. ´Don´t you agree Lady Mary would do better not to marry Sir Carlisle at all if she is that reluctant?´
´By all appearance he seems a prudent match…´ he offered, sounding unsure even as he uttered the words and she snorted in disagreement.
´No he is not, he is everything but!´
He looked up at those words, his surprise clear on his face. ´Do you think it´s the worst match she could possibly make then?´
´It´s a toss-up between Carlisle and Thomas, I´d say´ she spat back, her anger slowly but steadily getting the better of her.
´Mr Carson, if Lady Mary doesn´t love Sir Carlisle, if she doesn´t even trust him or wants to be with him, you shouldn´t be encouraging her to marry him. What does it say about her expectation of this marriage if she needs you to come with her to protect her?´
´There are some other matters involved…´ he began to reply haltingly, ignoring her outburst, much to her surprise. ´I don´t pretend to know the whole scoop of it, but there is something going on that just isn´t right… And I feel that it´s my duty to be there for her, in any way I can, if that´s what she needs.´
´And what do you need, Mr Carson?´ she asked quietly, feeling her heart constrict painfully as she got to the heart of the matter. He was leaning against the filing cabinet, wearing the saddest expression she´d ever seen on him.
´I need to make sure that Lady Mary is well…´ he paused and a look of pain swept over his face. When he spoke it was evident to Elsie that he too was experiencing a great deal of frustration at the moment.
´I cannot boast on having a lot of people that I truly care about…´ he eventually spoke in a strained voice. ´But I like to think that I look after those few that I do care for.´
The lump forming in her throat almost made it impossible for her to breath. She knew he had already made his decision, even if he didn´t realize it himself yet. She knew him to be fiercely loyal and overly protective. Headstrong and stubborn and foolish… so very, very foolish.
Well, if he was determined on being so, she was allowed to have her own moment of stupidity. One brief, tangible moment of folly, before she had to give him up. Closing the distance between them she placed one hand on his chest, the other rising up slowly around his neck and to the back of his head. Threading her fingers through his hair, she pulled his head down to hers and pressed her lips against his. For a precious few seconds she enjoyed the feel of the soft texture of his lips against her own, the scent of his cologne in her nostrils, the warm feel of his body so near her own. When she pulled back she kept her hands on his chest for a moment longer.
´I wish you´d open your eyes to see that there are more people who depend on your care. And who are more than willing to care for you in return.´ she told his chin quietly. Stepping back from him, she turned away, never meeting his eyes as she stepped out of his pantry.
***
This mad moment in which she had kissed the man who she had cared for so deeply for too many years to count had done absolutely nothing to calm her already overly worked up state of mind. Once again back in the quietness of her sitting room she sought for an occupation that would relief her of some of the tension she was harboring, preferably something that involved throwing heavy objects. Eventually she settled for pacing up and down the room, all the while trying very hard to get some grip on the whirlwind of emotions that she was currently experiencing.
But she hadn´t even started to comprehend the fact that just a few minutes ago she had in fact kissed, kissed Charles Carson when there was a soft knock on the door. Stopping dead in her tracks she almost screamed in vexation. At this time of night it could only be one person. But couldn´t he just leave her alone for an hour so that she could lick her wounds and regroup?
She knew he couldn´t. If there was something Charles loathed more than anything in the world it was a disagreement. ´It ruins the efficiency,´ he usually claimed. But she knew he just couldn´t bear the idea of someone being upset with him. So he would always be the first to try and reconcile, even if she was still busy blowing off steam.
Warily she opened the door, not in the least surprised to find him standing there.
´Well?´ she asked rather impatiently as he didn´t make any move, but just stood there, staring intently at her.
´Don´t tell me you´ll miss me,´ he repeated the words from earlier that evening. But this time there was no hint of humor in his voice and his eyes were firmly fixed on hers.
It felt as if there wasn´t enough air to breath and with her mouth suddenly very dry she responded, just as she had done so a few hours ago: ´I will, Mr Carson. Very much.´
He didn´t say anything. He didn´t have to. His entire demeanor changed as if a heavy burden was lifted from him. Stepping into her sitting room he closed the door behind him and pulled her to him.
Only fools rush in
Rated: K
Pairings: Carson/Hughes
Disclaimer: It could not be less mine. Julian Fellowes wrote Downton Abbey, which is produced by Carnival Films for ITV Network.
Spoilers: This story is based on the preview for season 2 episode 6, so if you don´t want to be spoiled, stay away!
Summary: Can Elsie give him a reason to stay?
Genre: angst/romance… in that order
A/N: Just a thank you for all the wonderful stories of this week and some wistful thinking on my part. The story isn´t beta-read, sorry!
***
The question who she wanted to strangle - and happily so - the most at the moment, was finally resolved. It had to be Mr Carson, Elsie decided.
Lady Mary Crawley had been high on her list for a good part of the day, her anger with the young woman so profound she could barely manage to remain polite. Fleetingly she realized she couldn´t even really relish in her fury. It was after all very hard to remain put out with a woman who had over the course of the last months turned into a caring, responsible, selfless person, obviously burdened by her own share of heartache.
But despite all that, where did the girl find the bloody nerve to ask Charles Carson of all people to leave Downton and move with her to Sir Carlisle´ residence? The man could perhaps boast on an even deeper devotion to the estate then Lord Grantham himself.
But what infuriated her even more was that Charles seriously seemed to consider Lady Mary´s request.
So it had to be Charles Carson then who had to bear the brunt of her fury. Especially after their little conversation before dinner in his pantry. In a hushed tone, never really meeting her eyes, he had told her all about it.
´Will you agree to go with her?´ she had asked, almost breathless from the shock.
He´d given a small shrug. ´I haven´t made my mind up yet.´
´You are not seriously considering leaving Downton, are you?´ Despite all the effort she´d put in keeping her emotions at bay, she noticed to her chagrin that her voice had definitely acquired something of a high pitch.
´Don´t tell me you´ll miss me,´ he had replied, trying to pass it off as a joke.
Her answer had been as simple as it was honest. ´I will, Mr Carson. Very much.´
It had been his look of complete and utter surprise that had left her seething with anger. She had left his pantry quickly and marched off to her sitting room, quite ready to spit nails. Could he be anymore oblivious? Was there really nothing else in his mind than the precious Crawley family he so faithfully served? Was he really that blind, that ignorant of what was so obviously staring him the face? Could he really not grasp the simple fact that she would miss him terribly if he went away? That the mere thought of him leaving filled her with an almost paralyzing feeling of dread?
She had just barely recovered from the latest stunt that insufferable man had pulled on her - working himself in a state and collapsing in the dining room, scaring her to death. Had he recovered from that only to be snatched away from her by a girl who was determined to continue on her road to destruction?
Could she ever give him a reason to stay? Would the one reason she could offer him be enough for him?
***
Around midnight, when the family had finally retired for the night she found that her anger had still not decreased in the slightest. The best course of action now would be to avoid him until it had, but when she realized she still had some invoices lying on her desk that she needed to give to him, she knew she would have to go up and see him after all. Resolving not to be drawn into another argument again, she made her way to his pantry where she found him sitting behind his desk. Wordlessly he took the invoices from her and she noticed his composure was slightly slumped and that his eyes looked weary.
The words were out of her mouth before she could control herself. ´Have you given the matter anymore thought?´
´It hasn´t been from my mind all evening,´ he confessed, walking from behind his desk to put the invoices away in the filing cabinet.
´I still have trouble believing you are actually considering leaving Downton,´ she told him, fighting to keep her tone even.
He gave a little shrug. ´Lady Mary seems keen on having an ally when she moves to London to start her new life. I got the impression she was feeling a little apprehensive…´
Any concept of remaining collected went out of the window.
´Mr Carson!´ she exclaimed a little more vehemently then she had intended. She lowered her tone quickly, but her voice lost none of the exasperation she was experiencing. ´Don´t you agree Lady Mary would do better not to marry Sir Carlisle at all if she is that reluctant?´
´By all appearance he seems a prudent match…´ he offered, sounding unsure even as he uttered the words and she snorted in disagreement.
´No he is not, he is everything but!´
He looked up at those words, his surprise clear on his face. ´Do you think it´s the worst match she could possibly make then?´
´It´s a toss-up between Carlisle and Thomas, I´d say´ she spat back, her anger slowly but steadily getting the better of her.
´Mr Carson, if Lady Mary doesn´t love Sir Carlisle, if she doesn´t even trust him or wants to be with him, you shouldn´t be encouraging her to marry him. What does it say about her expectation of this marriage if she needs you to come with her to protect her?´
´There are some other matters involved…´ he began to reply haltingly, ignoring her outburst, much to her surprise. ´I don´t pretend to know the whole scoop of it, but there is something going on that just isn´t right… And I feel that it´s my duty to be there for her, in any way I can, if that´s what she needs.´
´And what do you need, Mr Carson?´ she asked quietly, feeling her heart constrict painfully as she got to the heart of the matter. He was leaning against the filing cabinet, wearing the saddest expression she´d ever seen on him.
´I need to make sure that Lady Mary is well…´ he paused and a look of pain swept over his face. When he spoke it was evident to Elsie that he too was experiencing a great deal of frustration at the moment.
´I cannot boast on having a lot of people that I truly care about…´ he eventually spoke in a strained voice. ´But I like to think that I look after those few that I do care for.´
The lump forming in her throat almost made it impossible for her to breath. She knew he had already made his decision, even if he didn´t realize it himself yet. She knew him to be fiercely loyal and overly protective. Headstrong and stubborn and foolish… so very, very foolish.
Well, if he was determined on being so, she was allowed to have her own moment of stupidity. One brief, tangible moment of folly, before she had to give him up. Closing the distance between them she placed one hand on his chest, the other rising up slowly around his neck and to the back of his head. Threading her fingers through his hair, she pulled his head down to hers and pressed her lips against his. For a precious few seconds she enjoyed the feel of the soft texture of his lips against her own, the scent of his cologne in her nostrils, the warm feel of his body so near her own. When she pulled back she kept her hands on his chest for a moment longer.
´I wish you´d open your eyes to see that there are more people who depend on your care. And who are more than willing to care for you in return.´ she told his chin quietly. Stepping back from him, she turned away, never meeting his eyes as she stepped out of his pantry.
***
This mad moment in which she had kissed the man who she had cared for so deeply for too many years to count had done absolutely nothing to calm her already overly worked up state of mind. Once again back in the quietness of her sitting room she sought for an occupation that would relief her of some of the tension she was harboring, preferably something that involved throwing heavy objects. Eventually she settled for pacing up and down the room, all the while trying very hard to get some grip on the whirlwind of emotions that she was currently experiencing.
But she hadn´t even started to comprehend the fact that just a few minutes ago she had in fact kissed, kissed Charles Carson when there was a soft knock on the door. Stopping dead in her tracks she almost screamed in vexation. At this time of night it could only be one person. But couldn´t he just leave her alone for an hour so that she could lick her wounds and regroup?
She knew he couldn´t. If there was something Charles loathed more than anything in the world it was a disagreement. ´It ruins the efficiency,´ he usually claimed. But she knew he just couldn´t bear the idea of someone being upset with him. So he would always be the first to try and reconcile, even if she was still busy blowing off steam.
Warily she opened the door, not in the least surprised to find him standing there.
´Well?´ she asked rather impatiently as he didn´t make any move, but just stood there, staring intently at her.
´Don´t tell me you´ll miss me,´ he repeated the words from earlier that evening. But this time there was no hint of humor in his voice and his eyes were firmly fixed on hers.
It felt as if there wasn´t enough air to breath and with her mouth suddenly very dry she responded, just as she had done so a few hours ago: ´I will, Mr Carson. Very much.´
He didn´t say anything. He didn´t have to. His entire demeanor changed as if a heavy burden was lifted from him. Stepping into her sitting room he closed the door behind him and pulled her to him.