[BTS] To Be With You (1/2)
Title: To Be With You
Pairing: Namjin, side Taeseok
Rating: PG 13
Words: 14.4 k
Summary: Seokjin and Nam Joon have been together for nine years, married for five, and been looking after Nam Joon's younger brother, Jungkook, for one.
Warnings: Character Death
A/N: I wanted to write a cute short fic about Seokjin playing with giant fluffy dogs, then this happened.
Nam Joon hated mornings. The sun was rude, always abruptly waking him up from not enough sleep. He had a daily column on the Denver Post and was always up late in the night sending in last minute drafts for his editor to look over. He loved his job, he had the community column and was invited to every city event, but he hated the long work hours. Sleep was his escape. Warm blankets, the perfect mattress that wasn’t too soft or too hard, a big white pillow. And the sun took that all away from him. However, there was one redeeming factor to mornings.
He felt soft fingers thread through his hair.
“Wake up sleepy head.”
“I don’t want to,” Nam Joon grumbled, he pulled the comforter over his head.
“You have to take Jungkook to campus.”
“Can’t you take him?” his voice was muffled.
“Nope, my boss called, he needs to come in early today,” the comforter was pulled off of Nam Joon’s head, “which means you have to take him to college. He’s your brother.”
“I didn’t ask for him,” he rubbed at sleepy eyes, “they had him right before I move out. He was my replacement.”
“And now he’s here so take care of him,” Seokjin was unsympathetic.
Seokjin. Seokjin who slept on the right half of the bed, who was the owner of the pink toothbrush in the cup in the bathroom, who drank black tea instead of coffee. Seokjin, who loved mornings.
Nam Joon hugged Seokjin around his waist and pulled him down onto the bed, “A few more minutes please?”
Seokjin laughed, “Nope, get up.”
Seokjin slid out of his arms, but before he left he quickly kissed his cheek.
Nam Joon smiled, “Fine, I’m awake.”
Seokjin was no longer in the room but he still got up.
Seokjin. Seokjin who made mornings tolerable, almost pleasant, because Nam Joon had fallen hopelessly in love nine years ago.
In a fit of panic, when Nam Joon was a lost first year transfer student, second year college student, Nam
Joon crashed into Seokjin and spilled all of his coffee on him. Seokjin was a commuter, he didn’t have a spare change of clothes. They walked to Nam Joon’s apartment, five minutes from campus, and Seokjin changed there. Nam Joon cooked a breakfast burrito as an apology, he burnt the potatoes. Seokjin cooked, because he actually knew how to use a stove, and Nam Joon poured drinks, because there is no way he could ruin them. They started talking, they bonded over Korean parenting and their mutual love of the English language, and talking, Nam Joon had one sibling while Seokjin was an only child, and talking, they agreed to disagree on whether football had a purpose or not. No one went to classes that day. But Nam Joon did get a phone number and a promise for dinner next Thursday.
He wasn’t in love, not yet.
But three months later, when they were walking out of a movie theater, and Seokjin wouldn’t stop talking, and he turned around at just the right moment for the street lights to glow on his face, Nam Joon could feel the first signs of it. The pounding of his heart working over time. It was so loud he thought Seokjin would hear it, so he kissed him to distract him from the sound.
Looking back he’s sure Seokjin felt it anyway.
Or maybe not, maybe his pulse was beating just as loudly.
Because six months later, when Nam Joon asked if they could move in together, Seokjin didn’t say no.
And three years later, when Nam Joon asked if they could drive up to Canada and get married in the spring, Seokjin cried when saying yes.
So it was the silver band on his ring finger, with Seokjin’s name engraved on the inside, and Seokjin running in the kitchen that got Nam Joon up in the morning.
Jungkook was already there, eating a bowl of cereal. Nam Joon sat down on the open stool at the countertop, Jungkook shoved a plate of food to him.
“Hope you wanted eggs this morning,” he grumbled.
“Eggs are fine,” Nam Joon grunted back. One of the many perks of having a younger brother in your debt was not having to make breakfast.
“Awesome,” Jungkook replied in a monotonous tone.
“What’s your excuse for staying up late?” Seokjin asked.
“Bioshock Infinite.”
Seokjin hummed, unsympathetic, “Could you feed Kookie when she wakes up?”
“If the dog’s not awake, I don’t have to be awake,” Nam Joon complained.
“Your argument is invalid, because I already took Kookie on her walk. She was awake at six this morning,” Seokjin smirked.
Jungkook laughed into his cereal, “Even the dog has worked more than you.”
“Shut up,” Nam Joon snatched the cereal box.
“Don’t forget to take him to school. I don’t want your mother to yell at me because I ruined both of her sons’ lives.”
“If only she knew that I was the one ruining you,” Nam Joon said. Seokjin’s expression turned wide eyed. Nam Joon continued, “I ruin you every night.”
“Not appropriate, I’m leaving. Don’t be late,” Seokjin stormed off with a red face.
Nam Joon laughed.
Jungkook complained, “Hyung you’re gross.”
“If you complain again, I’m sending you to our parents’ house,” Nam Joon smirked.
It’s still gross, Jungkook muttered.
That was their routine on the weekdays, not a lot of variance in between. Sometimes Jungkook would take the fluffy white Sammoyed, Kookie, for her walks in the morning. Sometimes Nam Joon would wake up early, and then stay in bed and watch Seokjin sleep for however long until his alarm went off. Too often, their next door neighbor, Taehyung, would run into their apartment and beg Seokjin for a ride to their workplace. Seokjin always said yes, even on the days he didn’t have to go to the office. But most days began like this. With Kookie asleep on the couch, Jungkook groggily washing the dishes, and Nam Joon smiling to himself.
~~
Nine years together, five years of marriage. Nam Joon and Seokjin had a strong relationship, with the exception of one rocky year: their first year of marriage. Yes, their ceremony was a small one. Seokjin’s parents couldn’t make it but at least his cousins and aunt were there. No one from Nam Joon’s family attended. Not because they rejected the wedding, but because they didn’t know about it in the first place.
Seokjin found out when they got a Christmas card, addressed only to Nam Joon, complaining about how he wouldn’t be coming home for the holidays.
“How could you not tell them?”
“They wouldn’t care that I am in love with you, to them it would still be wrong.”
“My mother was upset when I told her but at least she knows. Can’t you give me that?”
Nam Joon didn’t answer.
Seokjin spent the next three weeks at his aunt’s house.
The apartment was too empty, so Nam Joon flew to his parents’ house. Everyone welcomed him, Jungkook showed him his first place ribbon from the middle school art show, his mom get a nose job, his aunt had a new American husband. It was nice to see family, but his family was missing. It took Seokjin leaving for Nam Joon to realize how he hated being “I” and how he love being “we”.
It was a twelve hour drive, but on New Year’s Eve, he showed up at Seokjin’s aunt’s house just in time for the countdown. Before Seokjin could react, Nam Joon leaned in. The first kiss of the New Year, him and Seokjin, as it should be all year, every year.
He wasn’t out of the dog house yet. But after two month of flowers, apologies, and singing ballads off-key outside of the window, he convinced Seokjin to come back to their apartment.
“Do you ever clean?” was the first thing Seokjin said when he saw their living room.
Nam Joon smiled sheepishly, “I pay the boys next door to clean once in a while.”
“Jimin and Jongup can’t even keep their own apartment clean,” Seokjin laughed.
And later that night, Nam Joon slept on the left side of the bed, because when he turned to the right, Seokjin was there.
Seokjin still couldn’t quite forgive him. Not yet.
“We should get a dog.”
“Why?”
“A St Bernard.”
“Jinnie, why do we need a giant dog?”
“So that he can bite you when you make me mad.”
Nam Joon was forgiven when they went to his parents’ house for Christmas. When he introduced everyone to his husband and they looked at him as if he had grown another head. He knew those plastic fake smiles, had grown up with them, so he wasn’t surprised when his mother cornered him in the kitchen and demanded he tell her that last night was a joke. That he real wasn’t married to a man. When Seokjin tried to defend Nam Joon, she started yelling at him for ruining her oldest son. They endured all of her shouting, the full half hour. Seokjin didn’t cry until she left, he refused to be weak in front of her. They left the next day.
Seokjin apologized the whole way. For ignoring Nam Joon for a whole year, only to find that yes, his family is really that bad.
Only Jungkook would pick up Nam Joon’s calls. And when his mom found out that he was talking to Jungkook, she shut off his phone. That was the second time Seokjin had seen Nam Joon cry.
A day later, Nam Joon came home with a small white bundle of fluff, she looked more like a baby polar bear than a dog.
“No St. Bernard?” Seokjin teased.
“Trust me, Jinnie, she is better.”
And she was. Kookie, as Soekjin named her, was a handful. Potty training was especially difficult since they lived on the fourth floor, but Seokjin solved that. He bought a flat tray, filled it with dirt, and, after a lot of persuasion, taught her to do her business there. Seokjin walked her in the mornings, Nam Joon in the afternoon, and both of them on the weekends. They would take turns being pulled around the dog park, she would sprint after anything that moved, ending in a tired heap by a large tree near the park exit.
They were too busy training a puppy to worry about their neglectful family.
Yes, their marriage didn’t have the honeymoon period. The first year was stressful, but the second year was spent learning about each other. About dividing bills, and splitting chores, and raising a dog. It wasn’t perfect, but it was theirs, and they loved it. Especially that third Christmas, where they watched movies, made popcorn balls, and took their fully grown Sammoyed to get lost in the snow.
They were in their fifth year of marriage, nine years of being together, and Nam Joon could not imagine a life without Seokjin. Or mornings without waking up to pouting lips and soft hair. The dog at their feet was replaceable. And Jungkook playing video games on the couch. And Jimin forgetting to make dinner so he would steal the leftovers from their fridge. And Taehyung running in with a basket full of laundry because he forgot what setting to use. But Seokjin. Seokjin was permanent.
That permanence was what had Nam Joon rushing home from work every afternoon.
The clock read five thirty, time to go home. Nam Joon packed up his briefcase.
Yoongi walked into his cubicle. “You, me, Hoseok, at Tony’s bar. We’re leaving in five.”
“Can’t, I have to stop by the store. We’re out of milk.”
“Wasn’t that your excuse yesterday?”
“Yes, but they didn’t have two percent yesterday. That’s the only kind Jin drinks.”
Yoongi threw back his head as he laughed, “You are so married.”
Nam Joon didn’t respond, but he did smile as he left the building, coat thrown over his shoulder, wallet in his pocket, and phone rapidly texting Soekjin. Yeah. He was in love. He was happy. Aren’t the two synonymous?
~~
Since Nam Joon got his regular column, he began staying later and later at the office. Which meant that Seokjin had to walk Kookie in the afternoons as well as the mornings. Not that he complained. She was more likely to chase after squirrels in the afternoon, that was a little difficult but not impossible.
They ran into Jimin in the hallway.
“Are you going to campus?”
“Yeah, the kids had a paper due yesterday and I have to grade them by Monday. Forty terrible papers about cell division,” Jimin grumbled.
“You’re the one who wants to be a physical therapist.”
“This isn’t therapy, this is teaching! It’s terrible.” Jimin leaned down and began petting Kookie.
“Did Taehyung get home yet?”
“Not yet, he’s working with another lawyer on some case or something like that.”
“Oh yeah, there’s a kid with neglectful parents whose aunt is fighting for custody.”
“Is it your boss that he’s working with?”
“Nope,” the elevator doors opened and they walked in, “but the lawyer he is working for has a young new secretary that is always coming to me for help. I’ve made all of the appointments for that case.”
“You deserve a raise.”
Seokjin scoffed, “I’m just a lowly secretary, or coffee fairy according to the interns.”
Jimin laughed, the elevator doors opened. “Have fun on your walk.” He petted Kookie before they parted.
Seokjin held Kookie’s face to look her in the eyes “Do you promise to behave?” As usual, she didn’t respond, which Seokjin chose to interpret as agreement. He later found out that the look was a challenge. Mostly when Kookie went chasing after a squirrel and dragged Seokjin along with her.
~~
“How was the walk?” Nam Joon asked.
He grinned when he saw Seokjin lying on the floor, with his head rested on Kookie’s back, still in his jogging clothes from earlier. “Remember when we first talked about getting a dog and I told you I wanted a St. Bernard?”
“Yeah.”
“Thank you for ignoring me and getting her instead,” Seokjin huffed.
Nam Joon bit his lip to suppress his laughter. He slid down on the floor to be eye level with Kookie, she didn’t notice, too busy sleeping. “Were you a bad girl?”
“She almost ripped my arm off,” Seokjin glared at her, “Look at the bruises you gave me.” She yawned. Nam Joon laughed.
“You’re a little monster aren’t you,” he played with her face. When she nipped at him, he turned to Seokjin who was pouting.
“What if I had lost my arm? Would you care? Or would you reward Kookie for being smart?” Seokjin pouted.
Instead of responding, Nam Joon rolled his eyes and kissed the pout off Seokjin’s face.
~~
“So can I drink with you guys tonight?” Jungkook asked, bright eyed and hopeful.
“Sure,” Seokjin smiled.
“Just one,” Nam Joon interjected from the sink where he was washing vegetables.
Seokjin rolled his eyes and mouthed “killjoy” to Jungkook. He hid a laughed behind his hands.
“What are you two plotting?” Nam Joon asked.
“Nothing,” they shouted in unison, with identical cheeky grins plastered on their faces.
“Never should have introduced you two,” Nam Joon muttered.
“Too late,” Seokjin kissed him on the cheek, “he’s permanent.” Seokjin returned to the dining room to finish setting the table. Nam Joon glared at his baby brother, who still had that cheeky grin plastered on his face.
“Get started on the potato salad,” Nam Joon commanded.
“Yes sir!” Jungkook complied.
Three hours later, the food was cooked, apartment was full, and the wine was flowing. Jimin had broken away from his usual grad student attire and was wearing jeans and t shirt. Taehyung had tried to dress classy, but already spilled wine on his shirt.
“You are such a clutz,” Seokjin teased. He sprayed stain remover on the white button up.
“It wasn’t my fault,” Taehyung whined, he was now wearing Seokjin’s maroon colored sweater, “it was the guy who’s sitting next to me. He speaks with his hands.”
“That’s Hoseok, and according to Nam Joon, he is relatively calm today,” he hung the shirt on a towel rack, “Come on, you’ve been losing too much weight.”
The table easily slipped from one conversation to another. Jimin, as it turns out, was an avid follower of Yoongi’s sports column, and very jealous of the perks he gets.
“How is Tony Romo in person?”
“Dude he is awesome. We played foosball together, I won, but he was a good sport about it. Then he said we should play football next time, I did the smart thing and said no.”
The table laughed.
“Wait, so he’s football? I thought he was baseball,” Seokjin said.
Nam Joon rolled his eyes and stroked Seokjin’s hair, “Jinnie, I hope one day you’ll learn about sports.”
“Yeah Jinnie,” Yoongi said directly at Nam joon. Hoseok laughed. Nam Joon rolled his eyes and jabbed his fork at them. “That’s the last time I invite you two over to eat.”
“So what do you do?” Hoseok asked Taehyung.
“I work as paralegal in the same firm as Seokjin,” Taehyung answered casually.
“Have you worked on any cases yet?” Yoongi asked.
“I’m pretty new to the company so only minor ones like misdemeanors and prostitutes but I’m working on a custody case at the moment.”
“Wait, you guys live together,” Hoseok motioned between Taehyung and Jimin across the table, “So does that mean you’re-”
“Oh god no,” Jimin interrupted. Jungkook laughed into his can of coke. “My roommate left abruptly, so Seokjin introduced us. Taehyung had just started working at their company and was living in a hotel, we became roommates because of a mutual need for an affordable place.”
“Oh, makes sense,” Hoseok took another drink of his wine.
“Besides” Jimin’s face stretched into a cheeky grin, “Taehyung would make a terrible boyfriend.”
“Jimin” Taehyung gritted between his teeth.
“No listen, this guy can’t cook shit. He’s always asking me- Jimin, how do you make this? It’s just a package of instant ramen and he can’t cook it.”
The whole table laughed. Taehyung’s face turned red, “I know how to make instant ramen.”
“Then why did we have to buy a new microwave?”
“All right children, that’s enough. No more fighting.” Seokjin reprimanded.
“Yes mom,” Taehyung and Jimin answered in unison.
“Man do you control this whole building?” Yoongi asked.
“Jin just likes taking cares of us,” this time Nam Joon was the one with mischievous grin, “he says it’s his responsibility as the oldest one.
Seokjin hit his shoulder. Yoongi and Hoseok were both laughing. “Wait, so what’s the age difference between you two?” Hoseok asked.
“Don’t answer,” Seokjin pleaded.
“That much,” Yoongi eyes widened comically.
Nam Joon turned that smirk on Seokjin. He shook his head, no. Nam Joon shook his head, yes. “No, no, Nam Joon!”
“He’s two years older than me.”
“Cradlerobber!” Yoongi shouted, the table laughed while Seokjin hid his face in his arms. Nam Joon began rubbing circles on his back. “I hate you so much,” Seokjin muttered.
“No you don’t,” Nam Joon kissed the top of his head and intertwined their fingers to show just how much Seokjin hated him.
Hoseok had to drive Yoongi, who was red faced and stumbling, home. He was also loud, really loud. “You two are sooooooooo married,” he enunciated, “So, so married. God, why don’t you just adopt thirty children and go out to buffets and show everyone how married you are? Instead of flaunt- flaunting it to us single losers. Come on Hobi, let’s leave this lovefest!”
He fell face first on the floor. Hoseok’s expression was unsympathetic.
“Hobi?” Taehyung asked.
“His drunk nickname for me. He can’t say Hoseok after three glasses,” Hoseok struggled to lift Yoongi on his feet.
“Hmm,” Taehyung’s cheeks were pretty pink as well, “have a safe trip home, Hobi”
Hoseok dropped Yoongi.
“Yes, thanks for coming, Hoseok. It was great having you over for dinner,” Seokjin wrapped his arms around Taehyung’s shoulders.
“It was a pleasure, the food was fantastic,” Hoseok helped Nam Joon stand Yoongi upright.
“Yeah, make sure not to overwork yourself,” Nam Joon grunted, Yoongi was finally standing, unsteady, but standing.
“The life of a photographer is demanding,” Hoseok joked. Taehyung chuckled.
Seokjin glared, “Good luck with him.”
“Not the first time,” Hoseok laughed as he fitted Yoongi through the entryway. Nam Joon shut the door behind them.
“He was funny,” Taehyung slurred.
“No he wasn’t,” Seokjin replied.
Nam Joon shook his head, then sighed. They had an apartment to clean. Jungkook and Jimin were already asleep on the couches, and Taehyung would be more harm than help. He and Seokjin had dishes to do and a table to clean.
Seokjin began placing feather light kisses against the back of Nam Joon’s neck.He picked up Seokjin and placed him over a shoulder. Seokjin laughed and beat light fists against his back. He stopped laughing when he was dropped down on their bed.
Or they could clean up tomorrow.
~~
There was a fire on the outskirts of town that Nam Joon’s boss insisted he witness and write a testimony for the city’s brave firemen. Nam Joon hated his job sometimes, especially when it made him smell like ash and sweat.
He stormed to his cubicle and immediately loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt.
“Woot, sorry I don’t have any ones, can I get change for a ten?” Yoongi teased.
“Haha, douchebag,” Nam Joon pulled a t shirt from one of his drawers, “What’s so important about having a detailed report on putting out a fire. They had a hose. The flames went out. No one was home. Complete waste of time.”
Yoongi shrugged, “You’re the one who wanted the community column.”
“Yeah so I can write articles about weddings or elementary school kids writing letters to soldiers. The cute stuff, not whatever shit this is,” he took the coffee cup out of Yoongi’s hand and drank from it. Yoongi almost protested, but he held back. Nam Joon needed it more than he did.
Hoseok ran into the cubicle, “Hey, I heard about your assignment,” he tossed a package of peanut m&m’s at Nam Joon.
“Thanks, see Yoongi, this is what a good friend does. He brings candy when someone is having a bad day.”
Yoongi snatched his coffee back.
“I bought it as a thank you for dinner the other day. I was going to give it to you even if you were having a good day,” Hoseok tugged off his camera bag and placed it on Nam Joon’s desk.
“Thanks,” Nam Joon said before eating a handful of m&m’s. Yoongi stole one, Nam Joon slapped his hand.
Hoseok fidgeted, “So the blonde one…”
“Hoseok, he’s twenty-four. That’s too young for you. Also, Seokjin would kill me if you taint one of his children,” Nam Joon said.
Yoongi laughed. Hoseok looked away ashamedly. Nam Joon’s phone vibrated, he looked at the message.
“So, are you going to Tony’s with us after work today? Happy hour lasts until seven on Wednesdays,” Yoongi asked.
“Can’t, I need to pick up Aspirin on the way home.”
“Seokjin still gets those headaches?” Hoseok inquired.
“Yeah, they’re getting worse now. I keep telling him to go to a doctor but he refuses.”
“What’s wrong with doctors?”
“Shots.”
Yoongi cringed.
“Maybe it’s because of all the wind? I bet once winter starts the headaches will go away,” Hoseok provided.
“Hopefully,” Nam Joon ate another one, “my mom called last night. She wants me and Jungkook to go over for Christmas.”
“And Seokjin?”
“Nope.”
“That’s harsh man,” Yoongi patted Nam Joon’s back.
“At least your mom calls you. My mom stopped talking to me after I came out to her. If my grandmother wasn’t on my side, no one in my family would talk to me,” Hoseok said.
“You guys make me grateful for my parents. They only kicked me out once, but that was because they wanted me to go to college and dumped me and my stuff off at the dorms.”
“You still bring girls to your house,” Nam Joon said.
“Yeah, penis isn’t really my thing,” Yoongi laughed, the others smiled.
They agreed to spend Christmas at Nam Joon’s house, and have a white elephant gift exchange. Hoseok was enthusiastically suggesting events for Christmas when the head editor forced them to be productive. After the editor was safely in his own office, Nam Joon texted their ideas to Seokjin. Of course he loved them. Love. Nam Joon loved him. And he made sure to tell him that in his final text.
~~
The sky was black by the time Nam Joon got home. There was a protest at the local university that his editor wanted on the front page of the paper tomorrow.
Seokjin was sitting on the couch, his laptop rested on his knees, unaware of Nam Joon’s presence. He watched Seokjin frantically type away on his computer. He was probably sending emails, trying to finalize an appointment or a court date or other important secretary duties. He may not have the most respected job in the world, but at least he was dedicated. Nam Joon tried to imagine Seokjin as a writer, like he originally wanted. He thought about Seokjin locked up in the house all day drinking copious amounts of black tea and not talking to anyone. The secretary job was better. He took care of everyone.
“Got it!” Seokjin fist pumped the air.
“Congratulations,” Nam Joon laughed.
Seokjin jumped, “Holy- when did you get here?”
“A while ago, you didn’t notice?”
“No I guess not,” he smiled.
Nam Joon tugged him up and held him. His hair was soft between Nam Joon’s fingers.
“How was your day?”
No response.
“Jinnie?”
Seokjin hummed, “Sorry I was distracted.”
Nam Joon sat down and tugged Seokjin down into his lap.
“What were you thinking about?” Nam Joon rested his hands on Jin’s waist.
“Well there’s this place in Bolivia- Salar de something Spanish sounding I don’t know. Don’t laugh, I took French in high school. Anyway, this place has the world’s largest salt flat. And every year, during the rainy season, the salt flat turns into a giant mirror. When you stand in the middle you have the sky above you, and when you look down, it looks like you’re walking on clouds. People call it the border between heaven and Earth.” Seokjin strung their fingers together, “We should go, wouldn’t that be nice? Just us, in the middle of the sky, with no world to worry about, just you and me.”
“Us, and nothing else,” Nam Joon mouthed against Seokjin’s temple, “I like that.”
“Yeah,” Seokjin half whispered.
“Yeah, I’ll take you there one day,” Nam Joon pulled away so he could look at Seokjin, his cheeks had flushed. There were pale roses on his face and a smile playing on his lips, “I’ll save up the money, and then we can take a month off of work and travel all over South America.”
“Yeah,” Seokjin’s smile widened as he played with the silver ring on Nam Joon’s hand.
“We can go to Brazil and see that giant Jesus statue, and go to Mexico and see the mummies,”
“And the butterfly migration,” Seokjin interrupted, finally meeting his gaze, “And see the world burning all around us to the sound of fluttering wings?”
“Yeah, we can do that,” Nam Joon threaded a hand in Seokjin’s hair, “and we can go to Peru and climb to those ruins and eat Guinea Pigs,” he kissed Seokjin’s nose when it scrunched up, “and right before we fly back home, we can go to the salt flat. It will be just us, floating in the sky. What do you say? Will you go with me?”
Seokjin hummed against Nam Joon’s lips, “That sounds wonderful.”
Seokjin pressed their lips together. He tasted sweet, soft, familiar, permanent, intoxicating. He cupped Nam Joon’s face between his hands and leaned in closer. He smelled like flowers. His lashes fluttered against Nam Joon’s cheeks. Nam Joon leaned forward, sliding Seokjin into the space between him and the couch-
When Kookie began barking. She rubbed her face against Nam Joon’s back. Nam Joon tried pushing her away but she kept barking.
Reluctantly he pulled away. “What?” he growled.
She jumped onto Seokjin’s stomach, in the small space between them. Seokjin laughed and began playing with her face, Nam Joon bent his head down. “Seriously?” She barked, what sounded like a pleased bark. “Attention whore.” Nam Joon grumbled. Seokjin laughed.
“No one wants to see that.”
In the kitchen, Jungkook was making a sandwich, his face scrunched up in disgust, “Love, ew, that’s just gross.”
Seokjin laughed harder. “I can’t wait until you fall in love, let’s see how gross it is then.”
“Never,” Jungkook stuck out his tongue.
Nam Joon did it back, because that’s what mature adults do. This didn’t affect Jungkook, in fact it only made him smile wider.
Seokjin began talking to Kookie in a baby voice while he played with her face. The moment was over. Nam Joon realized his defeat, outwitted by a dog and a dumb kid. Nam Joon huffed as he walked out of the bathroom, there was a problem he needed to take care of.
~~
Friday nights were movie nights. Nam Joon promised his mom that he would keep Jungkook busy, meaning keep him away from college parties, when his little brother had shown up his doorstep and declared “I’m living with you now.” Also, it was an excuse to not go to the bar and cuddle with Seokjin on the couch instead. Everybody wins.
Jungkook had lost his fight to choose the movie two weeks in a row, so they didn’t get to watch Fast Six. They saw The Labyrinth, Seokjin’s choice. He was asleep halfway through the movie.
“I don’t understand why your brother can’t sit through a movie without explosions.”
“He’s from a different decade. Remember how he convinced us to buy iphones?”
“Still, that doesn’t excuse him from sleeping through my favorite movie,” Seokjin pouted.
Nam Joon smiled and kissed Seokjin’s forehead, “Help me clean this up.”
“Fine, I’m going to sleep through his movie next week,” Seokjin continued to pout as he grabbed the cups and took them to kitchen.
Nam Joon laughed to himself. He piled all the plates, but stopped when he felt the pizza boxes. One was empty, but the other still had five pieces. Jungkook could eat six on his own. Nam Joon ate four. Which meant that Seokjin only ate one.
Nam Joon turned to Seokjin, he was humming to himself as he washed the dishes. He looked back at the pizza box.
Seokjin only had yogurt for breakfast. And he insisted he wasn’t hungry during lunch which hadn’t alarmed Nam Joon at the moment, but now.
Nam Joon said nothing. He finished cleaning the living room in silence.
But tomorrow he was going to make a call.
~~
Seokjin checked over his to do list for the day. They went to Wal-mart, Michael’s, all that was left was the grocery store.
Which was in the opposite direction than the way they were driving.
“Nam Joon, Safeway is down that way,” Seokjin pointed behind him.
“I know, we’re not going to Safeway.”
“Where are we going?” Seokjin squinted.
Nam Joon refused to look him in the eyes, “The hospital.”
“Nam Joon,” Seokjin whined, “I’m not getting the flu shot. It’ll probably make me sick and I’ll be one of those death cases you see on the news.”
“You’re not getting a shot, you’re getting a check up,” Nam Joon pulled into the parking lot.
“Why?”
“You only ate one slice of pizza the other day.”
“I wasn’t hungry.”
“You cut yourself when making dinner and the bleeding didn’t stop.”
“It was a deep cut.”
“Are you still getting those migraines?”
Seokjin looked at his hands, he answered in a small voice, “Yes.”
“You are going to your appointment,” Nam Joon walked around the car and Seokjin’s door.
“Fine,” Seokjin huffed, “but you’ll be embarrassed when the doctor says nothing is wrong with me. You worry too much.”
“I hope so, Jinnie.”
They said nothing else as they entered the hospital.
~~
Three days later, the trip to the hospital was forgotten.
Christmas was a little more exciting, just a little.
Taehyung and Jimin came over early in the morning with a fresh cut tree that Taehyung insist they decorate together. Seokjin and Nam Joon had small decorations, they only ever used a small plastic tree they bought the first year they lived together, so the tree was barely covered. Then Jungkook had the brilliant idea of everyone cutting snowflakes to use in lieu of ornaments. Besides Jungkook’s snowflake, the rest looked as if they were made by drunk five year olds. It was almost time for dinner so Seokjin suggested they put socks on the open spots. It was beautiful.
“That looks great,” Hoseok commented when he arrived.
Yoongi just laughed.
They ate first, all the fun happened after dinner anyway. Starting with the white elephant gift exchange. Yoongi chose first, a big silvery box with purple ribbon on it. Inside was the first season of Breaking Bad.
“Shit, this is awesome,” Yoongi grinned.
“Yeah that is cool. It’s my turn now, right? I’m taking that,” Hoseok grabbed the DVD set out of Yoongi’s hands.
“Come on man.”
“You know the rules, I can steal any gift I want,” Hoseok smiled unsympathetically.
Yoongi’s second bag had a dog toy and one sock. He pouted in the corner.
By the end of the game, Seokjin had an ugly Christmas sweater, Nam Joon had red lace panties, Jungkook had a baseball, Jimin had a Michael Buble Christmas album, Hoseok had a box of ferrero roche chocolate, and Taehyung had the Breaking Bad DVDs. No one tried to take Yoongi’s gift.
“I’m sure Kookie will trade you,” Jungkook teased.
“Shut up kid, at least I can drink,” Yoongi finished his glass of wine.
Jungkook pouted, “I can drink too.”
“Seokjin, how come you only have girly wines?” Yoongi shouted, his face was already turning red.
“Because we’re classy during the holidays,” Seokjin answered. He was setting up the karaoke machine.
“Classy shmassy, I want beer!”
“Okay, I’ll go to the store and pick up some,” Hoseok offered.
“Hoseok, you are the greatest human being that God ever created. And you will be even better if you bring me Corona.”
“You and your Mexican beers,” Jimin scoffed, “Hoseok bring a six pack of Bud Light.”
“Heineken please,” Taehyung sang.
“No Heineken, only water for you,” Jimin commanded. Taehyung pouted but said nothing.
Hoseok returned quickly and the karaoke tournament began. Taehyung insisted that he and Seokjin sing “Lady Marmalade” despite Jimin’s protest. And if you ask them, they nailed it, though that might be the alcohol talking. Hoseok tried, and failed, Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas is You.” Nam Joon rapped “Ice, Ice, Baby.” Jimin refused to sing and Jungkook got a perfect score. Yoongi fell asleep hugging the couch.
“You’re a terrible singer,” Taehyung laughed at Hoseok. They stopped singing over an hour ago but he was still laughing, not that Hoseok was going to stop him. He was a little too lost in Taehyung to stop him from doing anything.
“Like sooo bad, why did you even sing that?”
“Maybe it was me indirectly saying I want you?” Hoseok was red faced too.
“All right, get up, you’re sleeping in Jungkook’s room,” Seokjin tugged Hoseok up.
“But Jin,” Jungkook whined, “I sleep there.”
“Then share the bed with Hoseok.”
Jungkook pouted, “I’ll sleep on the floor, Kookie make room.” He used her head as a pillow.
Nam Joon helped Seokjin drop Hoseok on Jungkook’s bed. Then Seokjin covered a blanket on Taehyung and told him to go to sleep.
Nam Joon tugged Seokjin into their bed room, “You’re not their mom,” he laughed.
“Someone has to play mother for these kids, they can’t even take care of themselves,” Seokjin kissed Nam Joon’s lips.
“Yeah well I don’t need a mom,” Nam Joon said between kisses, “I need you, on your knees, wearing only those red lace panties , now.”
So in a drunken haze, Seokjin did what he said.
And regretted it the next morning when he saw the bruises.
~~
Kookie played with the beer can she found under the couch. It was almost New Year’s and they still found remnants of their Christmas party lying around. Including Jimin on the couch. His parents decided it would be a great idea to go to South Korea for the holidays, without telling him. He was kind of pissed about that.
As long as he didn’t make a bigger mess, Nam Joon didn’t mind him staying. Anyway, he was tired of playing Call of Duty with Jungkook, now it was Jimin’s turn.
The phone rang, Seokjin took the phone to the kitchen, where it was quiet, to answer it.
“Headshot!” Jungkook cheered.
“That was my headshot,” Jimin retaliated.
“Suck it up shortie.”
Jimin pushed him off the couch.
Nam Joon shook his head, boys will be boys. He saw Seokjin’s expression switch to confusion, and walked to the kitchen as Seokjin hung up the phone.
“Who was it?”
“The hospital,” Seokjin said, confused, “the results are in.”
“What did they say?”
“They wouldn’t tell me. They said we should go back next week.”
That was never a good sign. The secretary was supposed to sound happy and say everything was fine, you’re worried for nothing. Not tell you that you have an appointment that you didn’t even make.
Nam Joon wrapped his arms around Seokjin who was still frozen in shock. “Jinnie, I’m sure it’s nothing,” he lied.
Pairing: Namjin, side Taeseok
Rating: PG 13
Words: 14.4 k
Summary: Seokjin and Nam Joon have been together for nine years, married for five, and been looking after Nam Joon's younger brother, Jungkook, for one.
Warnings: Character Death
A/N: I wanted to write a cute short fic about Seokjin playing with giant fluffy dogs, then this happened.
Nam Joon hated mornings. The sun was rude, always abruptly waking him up from not enough sleep. He had a daily column on the Denver Post and was always up late in the night sending in last minute drafts for his editor to look over. He loved his job, he had the community column and was invited to every city event, but he hated the long work hours. Sleep was his escape. Warm blankets, the perfect mattress that wasn’t too soft or too hard, a big white pillow. And the sun took that all away from him. However, there was one redeeming factor to mornings.
He felt soft fingers thread through his hair.
“Wake up sleepy head.”
“I don’t want to,” Nam Joon grumbled, he pulled the comforter over his head.
“You have to take Jungkook to campus.”
“Can’t you take him?” his voice was muffled.
“Nope, my boss called, he needs to come in early today,” the comforter was pulled off of Nam Joon’s head, “which means you have to take him to college. He’s your brother.”
“I didn’t ask for him,” he rubbed at sleepy eyes, “they had him right before I move out. He was my replacement.”
“And now he’s here so take care of him,” Seokjin was unsympathetic.
Seokjin. Seokjin who slept on the right half of the bed, who was the owner of the pink toothbrush in the cup in the bathroom, who drank black tea instead of coffee. Seokjin, who loved mornings.
Nam Joon hugged Seokjin around his waist and pulled him down onto the bed, “A few more minutes please?”
Seokjin laughed, “Nope, get up.”
Seokjin slid out of his arms, but before he left he quickly kissed his cheek.
Nam Joon smiled, “Fine, I’m awake.”
Seokjin was no longer in the room but he still got up.
Seokjin. Seokjin who made mornings tolerable, almost pleasant, because Nam Joon had fallen hopelessly in love nine years ago.
In a fit of panic, when Nam Joon was a lost first year transfer student, second year college student, Nam
Joon crashed into Seokjin and spilled all of his coffee on him. Seokjin was a commuter, he didn’t have a spare change of clothes. They walked to Nam Joon’s apartment, five minutes from campus, and Seokjin changed there. Nam Joon cooked a breakfast burrito as an apology, he burnt the potatoes. Seokjin cooked, because he actually knew how to use a stove, and Nam Joon poured drinks, because there is no way he could ruin them. They started talking, they bonded over Korean parenting and their mutual love of the English language, and talking, Nam Joon had one sibling while Seokjin was an only child, and talking, they agreed to disagree on whether football had a purpose or not. No one went to classes that day. But Nam Joon did get a phone number and a promise for dinner next Thursday.
He wasn’t in love, not yet.
But three months later, when they were walking out of a movie theater, and Seokjin wouldn’t stop talking, and he turned around at just the right moment for the street lights to glow on his face, Nam Joon could feel the first signs of it. The pounding of his heart working over time. It was so loud he thought Seokjin would hear it, so he kissed him to distract him from the sound.
Looking back he’s sure Seokjin felt it anyway.
Or maybe not, maybe his pulse was beating just as loudly.
Because six months later, when Nam Joon asked if they could move in together, Seokjin didn’t say no.
And three years later, when Nam Joon asked if they could drive up to Canada and get married in the spring, Seokjin cried when saying yes.
So it was the silver band on his ring finger, with Seokjin’s name engraved on the inside, and Seokjin running in the kitchen that got Nam Joon up in the morning.
Jungkook was already there, eating a bowl of cereal. Nam Joon sat down on the open stool at the countertop, Jungkook shoved a plate of food to him.
“Hope you wanted eggs this morning,” he grumbled.
“Eggs are fine,” Nam Joon grunted back. One of the many perks of having a younger brother in your debt was not having to make breakfast.
“Awesome,” Jungkook replied in a monotonous tone.
“What’s your excuse for staying up late?” Seokjin asked.
“Bioshock Infinite.”
Seokjin hummed, unsympathetic, “Could you feed Kookie when she wakes up?”
“If the dog’s not awake, I don’t have to be awake,” Nam Joon complained.
“Your argument is invalid, because I already took Kookie on her walk. She was awake at six this morning,” Seokjin smirked.
Jungkook laughed into his cereal, “Even the dog has worked more than you.”
“Shut up,” Nam Joon snatched the cereal box.
“Don’t forget to take him to school. I don’t want your mother to yell at me because I ruined both of her sons’ lives.”
“If only she knew that I was the one ruining you,” Nam Joon said. Seokjin’s expression turned wide eyed. Nam Joon continued, “I ruin you every night.”
“Not appropriate, I’m leaving. Don’t be late,” Seokjin stormed off with a red face.
Nam Joon laughed.
Jungkook complained, “Hyung you’re gross.”
“If you complain again, I’m sending you to our parents’ house,” Nam Joon smirked.
It’s still gross, Jungkook muttered.
That was their routine on the weekdays, not a lot of variance in between. Sometimes Jungkook would take the fluffy white Sammoyed, Kookie, for her walks in the morning. Sometimes Nam Joon would wake up early, and then stay in bed and watch Seokjin sleep for however long until his alarm went off. Too often, their next door neighbor, Taehyung, would run into their apartment and beg Seokjin for a ride to their workplace. Seokjin always said yes, even on the days he didn’t have to go to the office. But most days began like this. With Kookie asleep on the couch, Jungkook groggily washing the dishes, and Nam Joon smiling to himself.
~~
Nine years together, five years of marriage. Nam Joon and Seokjin had a strong relationship, with the exception of one rocky year: their first year of marriage. Yes, their ceremony was a small one. Seokjin’s parents couldn’t make it but at least his cousins and aunt were there. No one from Nam Joon’s family attended. Not because they rejected the wedding, but because they didn’t know about it in the first place.
Seokjin found out when they got a Christmas card, addressed only to Nam Joon, complaining about how he wouldn’t be coming home for the holidays.
“How could you not tell them?”
“They wouldn’t care that I am in love with you, to them it would still be wrong.”
“My mother was upset when I told her but at least she knows. Can’t you give me that?”
Nam Joon didn’t answer.
Seokjin spent the next three weeks at his aunt’s house.
The apartment was too empty, so Nam Joon flew to his parents’ house. Everyone welcomed him, Jungkook showed him his first place ribbon from the middle school art show, his mom get a nose job, his aunt had a new American husband. It was nice to see family, but his family was missing. It took Seokjin leaving for Nam Joon to realize how he hated being “I” and how he love being “we”.
It was a twelve hour drive, but on New Year’s Eve, he showed up at Seokjin’s aunt’s house just in time for the countdown. Before Seokjin could react, Nam Joon leaned in. The first kiss of the New Year, him and Seokjin, as it should be all year, every year.
He wasn’t out of the dog house yet. But after two month of flowers, apologies, and singing ballads off-key outside of the window, he convinced Seokjin to come back to their apartment.
“Do you ever clean?” was the first thing Seokjin said when he saw their living room.
Nam Joon smiled sheepishly, “I pay the boys next door to clean once in a while.”
“Jimin and Jongup can’t even keep their own apartment clean,” Seokjin laughed.
And later that night, Nam Joon slept on the left side of the bed, because when he turned to the right, Seokjin was there.
Seokjin still couldn’t quite forgive him. Not yet.
“We should get a dog.”
“Why?”
“A St Bernard.”
“Jinnie, why do we need a giant dog?”
“So that he can bite you when you make me mad.”
Nam Joon was forgiven when they went to his parents’ house for Christmas. When he introduced everyone to his husband and they looked at him as if he had grown another head. He knew those plastic fake smiles, had grown up with them, so he wasn’t surprised when his mother cornered him in the kitchen and demanded he tell her that last night was a joke. That he real wasn’t married to a man. When Seokjin tried to defend Nam Joon, she started yelling at him for ruining her oldest son. They endured all of her shouting, the full half hour. Seokjin didn’t cry until she left, he refused to be weak in front of her. They left the next day.
Seokjin apologized the whole way. For ignoring Nam Joon for a whole year, only to find that yes, his family is really that bad.
Only Jungkook would pick up Nam Joon’s calls. And when his mom found out that he was talking to Jungkook, she shut off his phone. That was the second time Seokjin had seen Nam Joon cry.
A day later, Nam Joon came home with a small white bundle of fluff, she looked more like a baby polar bear than a dog.
“No St. Bernard?” Seokjin teased.
“Trust me, Jinnie, she is better.”
And she was. Kookie, as Soekjin named her, was a handful. Potty training was especially difficult since they lived on the fourth floor, but Seokjin solved that. He bought a flat tray, filled it with dirt, and, after a lot of persuasion, taught her to do her business there. Seokjin walked her in the mornings, Nam Joon in the afternoon, and both of them on the weekends. They would take turns being pulled around the dog park, she would sprint after anything that moved, ending in a tired heap by a large tree near the park exit.
They were too busy training a puppy to worry about their neglectful family.
Yes, their marriage didn’t have the honeymoon period. The first year was stressful, but the second year was spent learning about each other. About dividing bills, and splitting chores, and raising a dog. It wasn’t perfect, but it was theirs, and they loved it. Especially that third Christmas, where they watched movies, made popcorn balls, and took their fully grown Sammoyed to get lost in the snow.
They were in their fifth year of marriage, nine years of being together, and Nam Joon could not imagine a life without Seokjin. Or mornings without waking up to pouting lips and soft hair. The dog at their feet was replaceable. And Jungkook playing video games on the couch. And Jimin forgetting to make dinner so he would steal the leftovers from their fridge. And Taehyung running in with a basket full of laundry because he forgot what setting to use. But Seokjin. Seokjin was permanent.
That permanence was what had Nam Joon rushing home from work every afternoon.
The clock read five thirty, time to go home. Nam Joon packed up his briefcase.
Yoongi walked into his cubicle. “You, me, Hoseok, at Tony’s bar. We’re leaving in five.”
“Can’t, I have to stop by the store. We’re out of milk.”
“Wasn’t that your excuse yesterday?”
“Yes, but they didn’t have two percent yesterday. That’s the only kind Jin drinks.”
Yoongi threw back his head as he laughed, “You are so married.”
Nam Joon didn’t respond, but he did smile as he left the building, coat thrown over his shoulder, wallet in his pocket, and phone rapidly texting Soekjin. Yeah. He was in love. He was happy. Aren’t the two synonymous?
~~
Since Nam Joon got his regular column, he began staying later and later at the office. Which meant that Seokjin had to walk Kookie in the afternoons as well as the mornings. Not that he complained. She was more likely to chase after squirrels in the afternoon, that was a little difficult but not impossible.
They ran into Jimin in the hallway.
“Are you going to campus?”
“Yeah, the kids had a paper due yesterday and I have to grade them by Monday. Forty terrible papers about cell division,” Jimin grumbled.
“You’re the one who wants to be a physical therapist.”
“This isn’t therapy, this is teaching! It’s terrible.” Jimin leaned down and began petting Kookie.
“Did Taehyung get home yet?”
“Not yet, he’s working with another lawyer on some case or something like that.”
“Oh yeah, there’s a kid with neglectful parents whose aunt is fighting for custody.”
“Is it your boss that he’s working with?”
“Nope,” the elevator doors opened and they walked in, “but the lawyer he is working for has a young new secretary that is always coming to me for help. I’ve made all of the appointments for that case.”
“You deserve a raise.”
Seokjin scoffed, “I’m just a lowly secretary, or coffee fairy according to the interns.”
Jimin laughed, the elevator doors opened. “Have fun on your walk.” He petted Kookie before they parted.
Seokjin held Kookie’s face to look her in the eyes “Do you promise to behave?” As usual, she didn’t respond, which Seokjin chose to interpret as agreement. He later found out that the look was a challenge. Mostly when Kookie went chasing after a squirrel and dragged Seokjin along with her.
~~
“How was the walk?” Nam Joon asked.
He grinned when he saw Seokjin lying on the floor, with his head rested on Kookie’s back, still in his jogging clothes from earlier. “Remember when we first talked about getting a dog and I told you I wanted a St. Bernard?”
“Yeah.”
“Thank you for ignoring me and getting her instead,” Seokjin huffed.
Nam Joon bit his lip to suppress his laughter. He slid down on the floor to be eye level with Kookie, she didn’t notice, too busy sleeping. “Were you a bad girl?”
“She almost ripped my arm off,” Seokjin glared at her, “Look at the bruises you gave me.” She yawned. Nam Joon laughed.
“You’re a little monster aren’t you,” he played with her face. When she nipped at him, he turned to Seokjin who was pouting.
“What if I had lost my arm? Would you care? Or would you reward Kookie for being smart?” Seokjin pouted.
Instead of responding, Nam Joon rolled his eyes and kissed the pout off Seokjin’s face.
~~
“So can I drink with you guys tonight?” Jungkook asked, bright eyed and hopeful.
“Sure,” Seokjin smiled.
“Just one,” Nam Joon interjected from the sink where he was washing vegetables.
Seokjin rolled his eyes and mouthed “killjoy” to Jungkook. He hid a laughed behind his hands.
“What are you two plotting?” Nam Joon asked.
“Nothing,” they shouted in unison, with identical cheeky grins plastered on their faces.
“Never should have introduced you two,” Nam Joon muttered.
“Too late,” Seokjin kissed him on the cheek, “he’s permanent.” Seokjin returned to the dining room to finish setting the table. Nam Joon glared at his baby brother, who still had that cheeky grin plastered on his face.
“Get started on the potato salad,” Nam Joon commanded.
“Yes sir!” Jungkook complied.
Three hours later, the food was cooked, apartment was full, and the wine was flowing. Jimin had broken away from his usual grad student attire and was wearing jeans and t shirt. Taehyung had tried to dress classy, but already spilled wine on his shirt.
“You are such a clutz,” Seokjin teased. He sprayed stain remover on the white button up.
“It wasn’t my fault,” Taehyung whined, he was now wearing Seokjin’s maroon colored sweater, “it was the guy who’s sitting next to me. He speaks with his hands.”
“That’s Hoseok, and according to Nam Joon, he is relatively calm today,” he hung the shirt on a towel rack, “Come on, you’ve been losing too much weight.”
The table easily slipped from one conversation to another. Jimin, as it turns out, was an avid follower of Yoongi’s sports column, and very jealous of the perks he gets.
“How is Tony Romo in person?”
“Dude he is awesome. We played foosball together, I won, but he was a good sport about it. Then he said we should play football next time, I did the smart thing and said no.”
The table laughed.
“Wait, so he’s football? I thought he was baseball,” Seokjin said.
Nam Joon rolled his eyes and stroked Seokjin’s hair, “Jinnie, I hope one day you’ll learn about sports.”
“Yeah Jinnie,” Yoongi said directly at Nam joon. Hoseok laughed. Nam Joon rolled his eyes and jabbed his fork at them. “That’s the last time I invite you two over to eat.”
“So what do you do?” Hoseok asked Taehyung.
“I work as paralegal in the same firm as Seokjin,” Taehyung answered casually.
“Have you worked on any cases yet?” Yoongi asked.
“I’m pretty new to the company so only minor ones like misdemeanors and prostitutes but I’m working on a custody case at the moment.”
“Wait, you guys live together,” Hoseok motioned between Taehyung and Jimin across the table, “So does that mean you’re-”
“Oh god no,” Jimin interrupted. Jungkook laughed into his can of coke. “My roommate left abruptly, so Seokjin introduced us. Taehyung had just started working at their company and was living in a hotel, we became roommates because of a mutual need for an affordable place.”
“Oh, makes sense,” Hoseok took another drink of his wine.
“Besides” Jimin’s face stretched into a cheeky grin, “Taehyung would make a terrible boyfriend.”
“Jimin” Taehyung gritted between his teeth.
“No listen, this guy can’t cook shit. He’s always asking me- Jimin, how do you make this? It’s just a package of instant ramen and he can’t cook it.”
The whole table laughed. Taehyung’s face turned red, “I know how to make instant ramen.”
“Then why did we have to buy a new microwave?”
“All right children, that’s enough. No more fighting.” Seokjin reprimanded.
“Yes mom,” Taehyung and Jimin answered in unison.
“Man do you control this whole building?” Yoongi asked.
“Jin just likes taking cares of us,” this time Nam Joon was the one with mischievous grin, “he says it’s his responsibility as the oldest one.
Seokjin hit his shoulder. Yoongi and Hoseok were both laughing. “Wait, so what’s the age difference between you two?” Hoseok asked.
“Don’t answer,” Seokjin pleaded.
“That much,” Yoongi eyes widened comically.
Nam Joon turned that smirk on Seokjin. He shook his head, no. Nam Joon shook his head, yes. “No, no, Nam Joon!”
“He’s two years older than me.”
“Cradlerobber!” Yoongi shouted, the table laughed while Seokjin hid his face in his arms. Nam Joon began rubbing circles on his back. “I hate you so much,” Seokjin muttered.
“No you don’t,” Nam Joon kissed the top of his head and intertwined their fingers to show just how much Seokjin hated him.
Hoseok had to drive Yoongi, who was red faced and stumbling, home. He was also loud, really loud. “You two are sooooooooo married,” he enunciated, “So, so married. God, why don’t you just adopt thirty children and go out to buffets and show everyone how married you are? Instead of flaunt- flaunting it to us single losers. Come on Hobi, let’s leave this lovefest!”
He fell face first on the floor. Hoseok’s expression was unsympathetic.
“Hobi?” Taehyung asked.
“His drunk nickname for me. He can’t say Hoseok after three glasses,” Hoseok struggled to lift Yoongi on his feet.
“Hmm,” Taehyung’s cheeks were pretty pink as well, “have a safe trip home, Hobi”
Hoseok dropped Yoongi.
“Yes, thanks for coming, Hoseok. It was great having you over for dinner,” Seokjin wrapped his arms around Taehyung’s shoulders.
“It was a pleasure, the food was fantastic,” Hoseok helped Nam Joon stand Yoongi upright.
“Yeah, make sure not to overwork yourself,” Nam Joon grunted, Yoongi was finally standing, unsteady, but standing.
“The life of a photographer is demanding,” Hoseok joked. Taehyung chuckled.
Seokjin glared, “Good luck with him.”
“Not the first time,” Hoseok laughed as he fitted Yoongi through the entryway. Nam Joon shut the door behind them.
“He was funny,” Taehyung slurred.
“No he wasn’t,” Seokjin replied.
Nam Joon shook his head, then sighed. They had an apartment to clean. Jungkook and Jimin were already asleep on the couches, and Taehyung would be more harm than help. He and Seokjin had dishes to do and a table to clean.
Seokjin began placing feather light kisses against the back of Nam Joon’s neck.He picked up Seokjin and placed him over a shoulder. Seokjin laughed and beat light fists against his back. He stopped laughing when he was dropped down on their bed.
Or they could clean up tomorrow.
~~
There was a fire on the outskirts of town that Nam Joon’s boss insisted he witness and write a testimony for the city’s brave firemen. Nam Joon hated his job sometimes, especially when it made him smell like ash and sweat.
He stormed to his cubicle and immediately loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt.
“Woot, sorry I don’t have any ones, can I get change for a ten?” Yoongi teased.
“Haha, douchebag,” Nam Joon pulled a t shirt from one of his drawers, “What’s so important about having a detailed report on putting out a fire. They had a hose. The flames went out. No one was home. Complete waste of time.”
Yoongi shrugged, “You’re the one who wanted the community column.”
“Yeah so I can write articles about weddings or elementary school kids writing letters to soldiers. The cute stuff, not whatever shit this is,” he took the coffee cup out of Yoongi’s hand and drank from it. Yoongi almost protested, but he held back. Nam Joon needed it more than he did.
Hoseok ran into the cubicle, “Hey, I heard about your assignment,” he tossed a package of peanut m&m’s at Nam Joon.
“Thanks, see Yoongi, this is what a good friend does. He brings candy when someone is having a bad day.”
Yoongi snatched his coffee back.
“I bought it as a thank you for dinner the other day. I was going to give it to you even if you were having a good day,” Hoseok tugged off his camera bag and placed it on Nam Joon’s desk.
“Thanks,” Nam Joon said before eating a handful of m&m’s. Yoongi stole one, Nam Joon slapped his hand.
Hoseok fidgeted, “So the blonde one…”
“Hoseok, he’s twenty-four. That’s too young for you. Also, Seokjin would kill me if you taint one of his children,” Nam Joon said.
Yoongi laughed. Hoseok looked away ashamedly. Nam Joon’s phone vibrated, he looked at the message.
“So, are you going to Tony’s with us after work today? Happy hour lasts until seven on Wednesdays,” Yoongi asked.
“Can’t, I need to pick up Aspirin on the way home.”
“Seokjin still gets those headaches?” Hoseok inquired.
“Yeah, they’re getting worse now. I keep telling him to go to a doctor but he refuses.”
“What’s wrong with doctors?”
“Shots.”
Yoongi cringed.
“Maybe it’s because of all the wind? I bet once winter starts the headaches will go away,” Hoseok provided.
“Hopefully,” Nam Joon ate another one, “my mom called last night. She wants me and Jungkook to go over for Christmas.”
“And Seokjin?”
“Nope.”
“That’s harsh man,” Yoongi patted Nam Joon’s back.
“At least your mom calls you. My mom stopped talking to me after I came out to her. If my grandmother wasn’t on my side, no one in my family would talk to me,” Hoseok said.
“You guys make me grateful for my parents. They only kicked me out once, but that was because they wanted me to go to college and dumped me and my stuff off at the dorms.”
“You still bring girls to your house,” Nam Joon said.
“Yeah, penis isn’t really my thing,” Yoongi laughed, the others smiled.
They agreed to spend Christmas at Nam Joon’s house, and have a white elephant gift exchange. Hoseok was enthusiastically suggesting events for Christmas when the head editor forced them to be productive. After the editor was safely in his own office, Nam Joon texted their ideas to Seokjin. Of course he loved them. Love. Nam Joon loved him. And he made sure to tell him that in his final text.
~~
The sky was black by the time Nam Joon got home. There was a protest at the local university that his editor wanted on the front page of the paper tomorrow.
Seokjin was sitting on the couch, his laptop rested on his knees, unaware of Nam Joon’s presence. He watched Seokjin frantically type away on his computer. He was probably sending emails, trying to finalize an appointment or a court date or other important secretary duties. He may not have the most respected job in the world, but at least he was dedicated. Nam Joon tried to imagine Seokjin as a writer, like he originally wanted. He thought about Seokjin locked up in the house all day drinking copious amounts of black tea and not talking to anyone. The secretary job was better. He took care of everyone.
“Got it!” Seokjin fist pumped the air.
“Congratulations,” Nam Joon laughed.
Seokjin jumped, “Holy- when did you get here?”
“A while ago, you didn’t notice?”
“No I guess not,” he smiled.
Nam Joon tugged him up and held him. His hair was soft between Nam Joon’s fingers.
“How was your day?”
No response.
“Jinnie?”
Seokjin hummed, “Sorry I was distracted.”
Nam Joon sat down and tugged Seokjin down into his lap.
“What were you thinking about?” Nam Joon rested his hands on Jin’s waist.
“Well there’s this place in Bolivia- Salar de something Spanish sounding I don’t know. Don’t laugh, I took French in high school. Anyway, this place has the world’s largest salt flat. And every year, during the rainy season, the salt flat turns into a giant mirror. When you stand in the middle you have the sky above you, and when you look down, it looks like you’re walking on clouds. People call it the border between heaven and Earth.” Seokjin strung their fingers together, “We should go, wouldn’t that be nice? Just us, in the middle of the sky, with no world to worry about, just you and me.”
“Us, and nothing else,” Nam Joon mouthed against Seokjin’s temple, “I like that.”
“Yeah,” Seokjin half whispered.
“Yeah, I’ll take you there one day,” Nam Joon pulled away so he could look at Seokjin, his cheeks had flushed. There were pale roses on his face and a smile playing on his lips, “I’ll save up the money, and then we can take a month off of work and travel all over South America.”
“Yeah,” Seokjin’s smile widened as he played with the silver ring on Nam Joon’s hand.
“We can go to Brazil and see that giant Jesus statue, and go to Mexico and see the mummies,”
“And the butterfly migration,” Seokjin interrupted, finally meeting his gaze, “And see the world burning all around us to the sound of fluttering wings?”
“Yeah, we can do that,” Nam Joon threaded a hand in Seokjin’s hair, “and we can go to Peru and climb to those ruins and eat Guinea Pigs,” he kissed Seokjin’s nose when it scrunched up, “and right before we fly back home, we can go to the salt flat. It will be just us, floating in the sky. What do you say? Will you go with me?”
Seokjin hummed against Nam Joon’s lips, “That sounds wonderful.”
Seokjin pressed their lips together. He tasted sweet, soft, familiar, permanent, intoxicating. He cupped Nam Joon’s face between his hands and leaned in closer. He smelled like flowers. His lashes fluttered against Nam Joon’s cheeks. Nam Joon leaned forward, sliding Seokjin into the space between him and the couch-
When Kookie began barking. She rubbed her face against Nam Joon’s back. Nam Joon tried pushing her away but she kept barking.
Reluctantly he pulled away. “What?” he growled.
She jumped onto Seokjin’s stomach, in the small space between them. Seokjin laughed and began playing with her face, Nam Joon bent his head down. “Seriously?” She barked, what sounded like a pleased bark. “Attention whore.” Nam Joon grumbled. Seokjin laughed.
“No one wants to see that.”
In the kitchen, Jungkook was making a sandwich, his face scrunched up in disgust, “Love, ew, that’s just gross.”
Seokjin laughed harder. “I can’t wait until you fall in love, let’s see how gross it is then.”
“Never,” Jungkook stuck out his tongue.
Nam Joon did it back, because that’s what mature adults do. This didn’t affect Jungkook, in fact it only made him smile wider.
Seokjin began talking to Kookie in a baby voice while he played with her face. The moment was over. Nam Joon realized his defeat, outwitted by a dog and a dumb kid. Nam Joon huffed as he walked out of the bathroom, there was a problem he needed to take care of.
~~
Friday nights were movie nights. Nam Joon promised his mom that he would keep Jungkook busy, meaning keep him away from college parties, when his little brother had shown up his doorstep and declared “I’m living with you now.” Also, it was an excuse to not go to the bar and cuddle with Seokjin on the couch instead. Everybody wins.
Jungkook had lost his fight to choose the movie two weeks in a row, so they didn’t get to watch Fast Six. They saw The Labyrinth, Seokjin’s choice. He was asleep halfway through the movie.
“I don’t understand why your brother can’t sit through a movie without explosions.”
“He’s from a different decade. Remember how he convinced us to buy iphones?”
“Still, that doesn’t excuse him from sleeping through my favorite movie,” Seokjin pouted.
Nam Joon smiled and kissed Seokjin’s forehead, “Help me clean this up.”
“Fine, I’m going to sleep through his movie next week,” Seokjin continued to pout as he grabbed the cups and took them to kitchen.
Nam Joon laughed to himself. He piled all the plates, but stopped when he felt the pizza boxes. One was empty, but the other still had five pieces. Jungkook could eat six on his own. Nam Joon ate four. Which meant that Seokjin only ate one.
Nam Joon turned to Seokjin, he was humming to himself as he washed the dishes. He looked back at the pizza box.
Seokjin only had yogurt for breakfast. And he insisted he wasn’t hungry during lunch which hadn’t alarmed Nam Joon at the moment, but now.
Nam Joon said nothing. He finished cleaning the living room in silence.
But tomorrow he was going to make a call.
~~
Seokjin checked over his to do list for the day. They went to Wal-mart, Michael’s, all that was left was the grocery store.
Which was in the opposite direction than the way they were driving.
“Nam Joon, Safeway is down that way,” Seokjin pointed behind him.
“I know, we’re not going to Safeway.”
“Where are we going?” Seokjin squinted.
Nam Joon refused to look him in the eyes, “The hospital.”
“Nam Joon,” Seokjin whined, “I’m not getting the flu shot. It’ll probably make me sick and I’ll be one of those death cases you see on the news.”
“You’re not getting a shot, you’re getting a check up,” Nam Joon pulled into the parking lot.
“Why?”
“You only ate one slice of pizza the other day.”
“I wasn’t hungry.”
“You cut yourself when making dinner and the bleeding didn’t stop.”
“It was a deep cut.”
“Are you still getting those migraines?”
Seokjin looked at his hands, he answered in a small voice, “Yes.”
“You are going to your appointment,” Nam Joon walked around the car and Seokjin’s door.
“Fine,” Seokjin huffed, “but you’ll be embarrassed when the doctor says nothing is wrong with me. You worry too much.”
“I hope so, Jinnie.”
They said nothing else as they entered the hospital.
~~
Three days later, the trip to the hospital was forgotten.
Christmas was a little more exciting, just a little.
Taehyung and Jimin came over early in the morning with a fresh cut tree that Taehyung insist they decorate together. Seokjin and Nam Joon had small decorations, they only ever used a small plastic tree they bought the first year they lived together, so the tree was barely covered. Then Jungkook had the brilliant idea of everyone cutting snowflakes to use in lieu of ornaments. Besides Jungkook’s snowflake, the rest looked as if they were made by drunk five year olds. It was almost time for dinner so Seokjin suggested they put socks on the open spots. It was beautiful.
“That looks great,” Hoseok commented when he arrived.
Yoongi just laughed.
They ate first, all the fun happened after dinner anyway. Starting with the white elephant gift exchange. Yoongi chose first, a big silvery box with purple ribbon on it. Inside was the first season of Breaking Bad.
“Shit, this is awesome,” Yoongi grinned.
“Yeah that is cool. It’s my turn now, right? I’m taking that,” Hoseok grabbed the DVD set out of Yoongi’s hands.
“Come on man.”
“You know the rules, I can steal any gift I want,” Hoseok smiled unsympathetically.
Yoongi’s second bag had a dog toy and one sock. He pouted in the corner.
By the end of the game, Seokjin had an ugly Christmas sweater, Nam Joon had red lace panties, Jungkook had a baseball, Jimin had a Michael Buble Christmas album, Hoseok had a box of ferrero roche chocolate, and Taehyung had the Breaking Bad DVDs. No one tried to take Yoongi’s gift.
“I’m sure Kookie will trade you,” Jungkook teased.
“Shut up kid, at least I can drink,” Yoongi finished his glass of wine.
Jungkook pouted, “I can drink too.”
“Seokjin, how come you only have girly wines?” Yoongi shouted, his face was already turning red.
“Because we’re classy during the holidays,” Seokjin answered. He was setting up the karaoke machine.
“Classy shmassy, I want beer!”
“Okay, I’ll go to the store and pick up some,” Hoseok offered.
“Hoseok, you are the greatest human being that God ever created. And you will be even better if you bring me Corona.”
“You and your Mexican beers,” Jimin scoffed, “Hoseok bring a six pack of Bud Light.”
“Heineken please,” Taehyung sang.
“No Heineken, only water for you,” Jimin commanded. Taehyung pouted but said nothing.
Hoseok returned quickly and the karaoke tournament began. Taehyung insisted that he and Seokjin sing “Lady Marmalade” despite Jimin’s protest. And if you ask them, they nailed it, though that might be the alcohol talking. Hoseok tried, and failed, Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas is You.” Nam Joon rapped “Ice, Ice, Baby.” Jimin refused to sing and Jungkook got a perfect score. Yoongi fell asleep hugging the couch.
“You’re a terrible singer,” Taehyung laughed at Hoseok. They stopped singing over an hour ago but he was still laughing, not that Hoseok was going to stop him. He was a little too lost in Taehyung to stop him from doing anything.
“Like sooo bad, why did you even sing that?”
“Maybe it was me indirectly saying I want you?” Hoseok was red faced too.
“All right, get up, you’re sleeping in Jungkook’s room,” Seokjin tugged Hoseok up.
“But Jin,” Jungkook whined, “I sleep there.”
“Then share the bed with Hoseok.”
Jungkook pouted, “I’ll sleep on the floor, Kookie make room.” He used her head as a pillow.
Nam Joon helped Seokjin drop Hoseok on Jungkook’s bed. Then Seokjin covered a blanket on Taehyung and told him to go to sleep.
Nam Joon tugged Seokjin into their bed room, “You’re not their mom,” he laughed.
“Someone has to play mother for these kids, they can’t even take care of themselves,” Seokjin kissed Nam Joon’s lips.
“Yeah well I don’t need a mom,” Nam Joon said between kisses, “I need you, on your knees, wearing only those red lace panties , now.”
So in a drunken haze, Seokjin did what he said.
And regretted it the next morning when he saw the bruises.
~~
Kookie played with the beer can she found under the couch. It was almost New Year’s and they still found remnants of their Christmas party lying around. Including Jimin on the couch. His parents decided it would be a great idea to go to South Korea for the holidays, without telling him. He was kind of pissed about that.
As long as he didn’t make a bigger mess, Nam Joon didn’t mind him staying. Anyway, he was tired of playing Call of Duty with Jungkook, now it was Jimin’s turn.
The phone rang, Seokjin took the phone to the kitchen, where it was quiet, to answer it.
“Headshot!” Jungkook cheered.
“That was my headshot,” Jimin retaliated.
“Suck it up shortie.”
Jimin pushed him off the couch.
Nam Joon shook his head, boys will be boys. He saw Seokjin’s expression switch to confusion, and walked to the kitchen as Seokjin hung up the phone.
“Who was it?”
“The hospital,” Seokjin said, confused, “the results are in.”
“What did they say?”
“They wouldn’t tell me. They said we should go back next week.”
That was never a good sign. The secretary was supposed to sound happy and say everything was fine, you’re worried for nothing. Not tell you that you have an appointment that you didn’t even make.
Nam Joon wrapped his arms around Seokjin who was still frozen in shock. “Jinnie, I’m sure it’s nothing,” he lied.