Syawal Blues
It’s the third day of Syawal and I am clueless whether will I be going out today or will I be stuck at home like yesterday? =$
Yesterday, my paternal side of the family came and I voiced out to my dad saying I want to tag along because it’s so boring sitting at home all day without doing anything. Don’t get me wrong, I did my chores already hence the boredom. Besides, Mohabbetein was coming to an end and there wasn’t any good shows after that hence the desire to go out..
My dad answered asking me to ask my mom in which my mom refused point blank. She gave me such a lame excuse in which made me think that if I’m no longer small or a kid, I should be allowed to go out with them... besides ada mahram ape.... =)) but oh weelll, I was indeed stuck at home.
She then said that some of my maternal families would be coming but I know that they will not as it is a hassle bringing my granddad in and out of the house without getting a nag from him thus spoiling everyone’s mood. Haiz. I don’t know what’s going to happen to my family.
I told <3 about this and he told me to be patient. Hopefully, by next Syawal, I will be able to follow my relatives out whenever I want.
<3 told me that I will only get my freedom after marriage and once we are married, he is going to give me that. I argued with him over this matter few nights ago because I was telling him that I had grown accustomed to not getting what I want from them and so it’s not a big deal. But I forgot or rather didn’t even realise that my freedom, my happiness means a lot to my big guy.
Thinking about it, I do wished that I can go out with my cousins more and bring my grandmummy out for a good day out. I missed the chance of bringing her to IKEA and NTUC because my mom simply doesn’t allow me to. That sucks, I know but when I got the answer from her, I was already half gone. I mean, I have already predicted what her answer would be and so I was not surprised when I find myself texting 5 that I can’t join. And I gave her the excuse of being swamped with tons of assignments which is the truth but truth be told, for family and my <3, those assignments can be pushed away for few hours and I simply won’t mind. =)
One thing for sure, once I’m married, I can spend more time with my <3 and I wouldn’t have to worry about being questioned or locked out of the house as I got my hubby with me. Every day, every time when I’m with him, I will tell him how much I wished that I was lawfully his right now. And at times, when I am too happy to tell him that, he will surprise me by saying those words to me. And inside, I know he is feeling the pain as what I am feeling.