Jennifer Hudson--You DID That, Sista! You DID That!
I'm sure that damn near every black person in America watched the Oscars last night for 3 reasons: Best Supporting Actor--Male, Best Supporting Actress--Female, and Best Lead Actor. Ok, Ellen was hilarious and the shadow people were creepily intriguing, but, y'all know we were watching for Eddie Murphy, Jennifer Hudson, and Forest Whitaker. I can honestly say that I want some 4 or so hours of my life back--For Real.
You know good and hell well that they held off on J. Hud., the Dreamgirls performance, and Forrest just to keep us watching to the damn end. This show was beyond boring! My cousin and I watched it together for awhile and I swear, when I'm bored I come up with the most off the wall things. When that foreign man and Clint Eastwood's ancient ass were on the stage, I said,
"Man, it'd be great if someone just ran up on the stage and yelled 'YOINK' and ran off with his Oscar. He can't speak English, he won't know what's going on. It'd be even funnier if, while said individual is running with said Oscar, he or she did the Heisman on security."
My cousin was hollering. I can't help it, I get bored and my imagination runs wild. We were watching Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and I kept wondering why the perps dont announce their attack methods while doing them. Like, why not, when proceeding to stab an individual, actually say 'STAB!' or 'SHANK!' I mean, it's ironic and entertaining. They'd be remembered for being witty and violent.
So, my cousin retorts with a not as funny as my 'YOINK' arguement with,
"It would be funny if that happened to someone who actually won the Heisman."
"Uh, no it wouldn't, because the person who's actually won the Heisman can chase you down and tackle your ass and you wouldnt be able to do the Heisman on them. :-|"
It's true. It wouldn't be as funny.
I'd like to get back to this Oscar business. Eddie Murphy was ROBBED! Robbed, I tell you and I haven't even seen Dreamgirls. I think that Allan Arkin character just won because I don't think he's ever won one before. It's even more possible that they didn't want to break that Oscar tradition and give an award to more than 1 or 2 people (MAX) a year.
Robbed. Screwed. Gyped. Perloined. Mugged. Fucked. No matter how you say it, Eddie got all of those done to him. It's not right, the man's a genius.
Jennifer Hudson. J. Hud. Girl, in the words of your co-star Beyonce, 'You did that, Sista! You DID that!'
I mean, really, Girl, go ahead! I really thought she was going to get up and start shouting when they announced her name. I would have. I probably would've fell on the floor and started hollering. No joke, winning is an emotional thing when you haven't won before. I couldn't keep a dry eye. Jennifer was very humble and I dont think any other actress in that category deserved that award more than she did. Sorry little Easter Basket Dress Girl from 'Little Miss Sunshine,' you have an entire lifetime to be nominated for such awards.
It's true. She cant have much of a sob story, she's like 7. Pffbbtt, wait til she hits puberty to truely give a damn.
So, back to J. Hud. She got up there and thanked Jesus and her Mama and she even thanked Jennifer Holiday's crazy ass. I know I didn't see the E! Red Carpet show, but thank you Lord for YouTube! That heifer can make some crazy faces. She actually added letters to words that don't contain certain letters. 'NoboTy'? I thinks not, Lady; I thinks not.
Yes, Jennifer Hudson. I cried with you. I cried when people win 'American Idol' and I dont even like 'American Idol.' I just watch the auditions and the very last show to see who won and I'm trying not to cry buckets. I wish I could see Simon Cowell kicking himself in the ass for doubting her talent and abilities.
"I doubt anyone would ever hear from you again after this."
Well, that heifer has an OSCAR now! Never hear from you again, indeed. *Hmph* IN YOUR FACE, COWELL! IN YOUR FACE! I wish J. Hud. would do the Heisman with her Oscar on him. I'd pay good change to see that. Hey Cowell, how's that El Divo business going?
After Jennifer won, the only thing I cared about was the Dreamgirls performance. It was wonderful. I can't wait until that movie comes to DVD. I still haven't seen it yet. I think I stated that earlier.
I wasn't excited about 'Listen' because I have 'B-Day' and it's now in constant radio airplay. BUT, last night, J. Hud. put some powerhouse to it and Beyonce, in the words of the great Ike Turner, 'Put Some Stank on that Muhfucka!' And where the hell did Anika Noni Rose get that ginormous voice from?! She came out of nowhere looking like she's weighing in a 2'3'', 67 lbs. and tore it down! I was very proud of them. I couldn't stop clapping.
After that, I turned the channel. I wasn't obligated to the show anymore. I was thankful, even. I couldn't take any more of that drivel. I had never even heard of half the movies or people nominated and I really could've cared less. I'm cultured, but damn, how much of that shit can you shove down people's throats? Good Lord! I will say; however, Jaden Smith is adorable and a true little professional. I'm upset that his daddy didn't win.
Well, it was Black Star Power in full effect and just in the nick of the end of Black History Month. Yay, us! With that said, congratulations Jennifer Hudson and Forest Whitaker. Hopefully we can do this all again next year!
