Power
I met with my once-upon-a-time Craft Teacher the other day for coffee. So good to see him again. Wonderful to catch up on where our lives are going, how our kids are doing and what our magic looks like today as opposed to when we worked together. He likes to remind me that we both keep changing and that our relationship has changed as well. I am proud he considers me a peer and yet, so much of who he was then has shaped who I am now.
Back then, in the days of dinosaurs, when we walked to Training barefoot, uphill, in 3 feet of snow in New England, to meet with the Teacher not knowing what crazy and liberating thing he might say, or do or demand . . . well, things were different than they are now. (In some places, they are still the same. I haven't heard of anyone dying from the hierarchy, or from the hurt feelings this kind of training sometimes caused. But, I sure have seen some mighty strong Witches made this way. But that's a story for another time.) We'd meet at his house for a while each week. I was half out of my mind with Makahu most of the time. He'd show me things. I'd tell him things. We'd chat. But make no mistake, there was no mis-chosen word or meaningless gesture. I rarely asked anything--out of respect. It was him who asked the questions. My answers to those questions have changed over the years, and will continue to as long as I am alive and working the Craft.
Tonight I am reminded of three of his most persistent demands:
Who are you?
What kind of Witch are you?
If they can take your power with a word or deed, what good is it?
Imagine, if you will, sitting alone in a room, face to face with the person you respect most in the world. S/he is intently holding your gaze, looking you in the eye and expecting Truthful answers to these questions. Not very polite is it? Not very civilized. But then, I was also told , "The road to F(a)eri(e) is not civilized, but kinder."
These questions continue to push me past my comfort zone, past the places where I want to protect (coddle) my own weakness . . . past the realities I have brought into manifestation to satisfy my ego, and into the Truth of Who I Am. They demand I continue to define and affirm the kind of Witch I am. Again, and again, and again they require me to claim my own Power: that which can never be taken from me and for which I will never apologize, for it is Innocent and Fey and Hard Won.
A Witch is PowerFull. S/he deals in Power. S/he cannot cringe from naming it, from using the very word, "Power," from wielding Power and yes, Being Power. I didn't come to the Craft to be taught the manners of polite society. I came to the Craft because the Goddess pulled me to her like a Mother pulls her child out of traffic. She grabbed me by the arm without warning! One minute I was there in the road and the car was speeding toward me. The next I was here on the sidewalk, and my arm hurt and She was yelling at me and clutching me to Her breast and weeping at the same time. When Life and Death are colliding, table manners and social niceties don't apply. And the Craft? Feri Tradition Witchcraft? Well, we collide with Life and Death in each moment of every day.
I'm not saying being of the Craft excuses us from being kind. Not at all. I'm saying we are uncivilized. I am saying that if we are Witches, we cannot afford to be confused about our Power. It is real. In order to wield it with respect, in order prepare to carry the wieght of responsibilty that comes with Power, we must first claim it as our own. How can we wield or respect something we refuse to deal with?
Ah, and here is what I started out writing before I got carried away on one of my infamous tangential trains of thought:
I don't want your power. I have my own. If you have given me your power accidentally or, in your confusion believe I have diminished it, I demand you take it back in a manner that does Justice to the integrity of That which is Highest in us both.
Here is what every true Teacher of any Tradition wants for every Student and Seeker: Claim your own Power!
Then, we can sit together and have coffee without fear the other is carrying a machete. Then we can help one another do our the Work we are each here to do rather than deprive one another of that Joy. Then we can move past misunderstanding and right on through to Truth. And then?
Then we can enter the sacred space carrying our Weapons of Power without drawing them upon each other, but rather drawing the Circle around us where we dance in perfect love and perfect trust.
In Love and Power, Be Blessed.