(no subject)
i was looking at some old entries
we were so fucking happy
why did things turn out like this?
why cant he be by my side anymore?
why did i have to fuck things up
we were good together
he made me feel so fucking good about myself
i felt beautiful and i felt like i was important
i only felt good when i knew i made him feel good
but i couldnt do that anymore
you know he was the reason i started to pick up my grades
because if my grades were low id be grounded
and i wouldnt be able to see him
i know i said id turn him in and all that shit
i didnt say any of that for the fun of it
i did it cause i was hurt, i know it doesnt make it right
but i had a reason other than being pissed off cause it didnt work out
why
why did this fucking happen
hes moved on
and im still upset about everything
we had some really good times
i met alot of great people because of him
i always tried to make things work
but i know it just wasnt meant to be
why am i still inlove with someone that ive done nothing but fight with for the past two months
why do i care about him when hes with another person?
why did i care abot him even when i knew his heart wasnt all mine
i just want to be happy again
i dont wanna cry anymore, i want to smile and have fun
and i dont want to worry about what hed think of me if i did something stupid
nothing is changing
this still hurts more than anything
i just want to know that he'll remember me and that at one time i was special to him
and he did really want to be with me forever at one point
i want to know that i was appreciated
i want to know if we were really in love
on a lighter note:
i shouldn't laugh but...
AHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAHHA!!!!!!!!!