pop_the_toaster in loveadvice

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Jan 24, 2012 15:03

firstly this involves a same sex relationship between two women so please no bashing, thats just hateful and clearly not what this helpful community is about ( ... )

Comments (6)

Have you told her how you feel about the lack of affection? I'd start there, even something as simple as ''hey, it's been really getting to me that there seems to be less affection between us, is there something wrong?''

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anrui_ichido

Yep, this. Something I had to learn was not to hold everything in. It can be hard, as I always feel like my feelings are such a bother, but as of late, I've been communicating with my partner a lot sooner about things that I notice or things that worry me. When I hold them in less, they boil over less into other, unrelated things. So when you feel bothered, upset, or worried by something, speak up! I find a simple "It really means a lot to me when we share a goodnight kiss." goes a long way. :)

Even just talking and having my partner listen and acknowledge is enough. But often when it comes to stuff like affection we talk about how we can work on it together.

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tia_junan

Some relationships don't survive the moving in together stage. Things have changed. You admit you've changed and feel her behavior has also. Sounds like you need to take a step back and make other living arrangements. The adjustment may have just been too great, or someone wasn't really ready.

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kanzan

seconded. it's not working anymore.

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leaf_kunoichi

It is a cycle: she shows less affection, you let it bottle up and are moody, repeat. You can't control anyone's actions.but your own. Make an effort to be the type of person you would want to be around. You need to look at yourself and how/if you have changed. If you have become a person opposite of what you were when you met it is understandable there is a change in the relationship. You have to decide.

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pop_the_toaster

well thank you all for your advice, some of it was followed. but, my feeling were unacknowledged to an extent.... she was finding it more and more difficult to love me because of my changed 'personality'. i said that that was the real me, the honeymoon stage of the relationship where you hide all the 'crazy' was over and sorry but i was going to be a moody so and so sometimes but just ignore me and ill get over it. but, that was the reasoning behind the lack of affection and no other signs of it changing or acknowledgement that it had an affect on us etc ( ... )

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pop_the_toaster in loveadvice

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Comments (6)

glitterandciggs

anrui_ichido

tia_junan

kanzan

leaf_kunoichi

pop_the_toaster

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