alright screw this
im beginning to get mad. where the fuck is everyone when i need someone? i know im not exactly a good friend, but what the hell?
well no thats not right...this isnt coming out how i want it to, but im really upset right now and i just need someone to talk to and nobody's here. nobody's answering the phone. and usually i dont like going into detail about things with brent on my journal, but fattie, you're really killing me right now. why cant you call me? i realize your busy but i really need someone right now. im trying so hard not to need people but the process of getting there is hurting.
when im gone, i dont want to miss people. i dont want to cry every night, but i dont know how to get through the days without making some lame jokes with melissa and kaycee, and i dont know how to sleep without hearing brent's voice. ive become very dependent, because i never expected that id be moving to ireland. rofl who would expect that? its pretty random. but now that im dependent on other people making me happy, its going to be hard going back to making myself happy all the time, because i havent done that in a long time.
i dont want to miss people, but i want them to miss me. i want people to wake up every morning knowing that im gone, and actually caring that im gone. i want people to think of me before they fall asleep at night and wonder what im doing. i want people to cry because they know they wont be seeing me for another 2 years. i realize these arent nice things to want, but its what im going to be doing, so id like the same in return. that, and the cramps have taken over my body and this is my period talking ;x
alright well thaaats enough. id write more but thats basically all i have to say lol.
well no thats not right...this isnt coming out how i want it to, but im really upset right now and i just need someone to talk to and nobody's here. nobody's answering the phone. and usually i dont like going into detail about things with brent on my journal, but fattie, you're really killing me right now. why cant you call me? i realize your busy but i really need someone right now. im trying so hard not to need people but the process of getting there is hurting.
when im gone, i dont want to miss people. i dont want to cry every night, but i dont know how to get through the days without making some lame jokes with melissa and kaycee, and i dont know how to sleep without hearing brent's voice. ive become very dependent, because i never expected that id be moving to ireland. rofl who would expect that? its pretty random. but now that im dependent on other people making me happy, its going to be hard going back to making myself happy all the time, because i havent done that in a long time.
i dont want to miss people, but i want them to miss me. i want people to wake up every morning knowing that im gone, and actually caring that im gone. i want people to think of me before they fall asleep at night and wonder what im doing. i want people to cry because they know they wont be seeing me for another 2 years. i realize these arent nice things to want, but its what im going to be doing, so id like the same in return. that, and the cramps have taken over my body and this is my period talking ;x
alright well thaaats enough. id write more but thats basically all i have to say lol.