lost and insecure.
today and yesterday have been the worst days ever.
i've been so cynical of myself lately and i can't help but be depressed when i think about certain people and how my life has changed in the recent years.
i used to be so happy about the simplist things and now it takes a hell of alot more to make me even smile; truly smile, not the fake smile that i've worn everyday since my heart has broken. i'm so sick of feeling like i'm just stuck in this life that i live without a way out or any prospect or hope of anything amazing or out of the ordinary, extraordinary even, happening to me.
i think i'm a pretty decent person and i deserve to be happy.... why can't people see that and understand how i feel. i'm always trying to pretend to be something that i'm not: i'm not confident or happy with myself. i hate how i see myself when i look in the mirror and i feel helpless of any change because everytime i try to exercise or eat healthier i somehow get stuck in a rut and nothing can make me feel like i can lose weight or even feel better.
lost and insecure.
that's me.
it's hopeless.
i've been so cynical of myself lately and i can't help but be depressed when i think about certain people and how my life has changed in the recent years.
i used to be so happy about the simplist things and now it takes a hell of alot more to make me even smile; truly smile, not the fake smile that i've worn everyday since my heart has broken. i'm so sick of feeling like i'm just stuck in this life that i live without a way out or any prospect or hope of anything amazing or out of the ordinary, extraordinary even, happening to me.
i think i'm a pretty decent person and i deserve to be happy.... why can't people see that and understand how i feel. i'm always trying to pretend to be something that i'm not: i'm not confident or happy with myself. i hate how i see myself when i look in the mirror and i feel helpless of any change because everytime i try to exercise or eat healthier i somehow get stuck in a rut and nothing can make me feel like i can lose weight or even feel better.
lost and insecure.
that's me.
it's hopeless.