The mind wanders. A lot.
Jamberoo sucked. I've been eaten alive by mosquitoes and am sunburned, SUNBURNED!
I didn't even think I could burn, but apparently I can because my arms and legs have weird tan lines and my shoulders look like they might peel. Oh God, the horror. Did I mention I wore sunscreen? Because I did and I'm pretty sure I'm going to get skin cancer and die a long, painful death. If not, I expect my family to stock more Aloe Vera gel for the future.
In any case, I have nothing of substance to say right now and even if I did, I probably would have forgotten within the hour anyway. In the meantime, let me introduce you to a snippet of thought and show you exactly what my brain thinks about in "idle time".
How to Lose Your Virginity in About Three Steps, According to John Nolan
There were some things everyone took for granted and some things that simply just were. Like the fact Michelle had started to worryingly obsess over John's best friend, his mother's sponge cakes actually being store bought and the fact boys thought about sex.
A lot. Most of the time. All the time even.
So, really, it wasn't such an uncommon thing for John to be lying in bed, staring at his ceiling and thinking about it now, was it?
No, it really wasn't except for that small detail that John has yet to do it, so to speak. He was 18, it wasn't so weird that he should be getting jiggy with it and sexing up a lot of things (all things), but he hadn't and so that was really what was uncommon.
He wasn't a terribly unfortunate looking boy, if his mother was anything to go by, and he wasn't riddled with STDs (he'd have to have done it with someone other than himself for that to have happened though) so then really, the question was, why hasn't he done it yet?
John had to have a plan of action, something fool-proof and sort of suave because if he was going to do this, he may as well come out of it looking good (with an inflated ego).
THE PLAN,
John wrote at the top of the page then underlined it, just to show how important The Plan was and to emphasis that he had a plan because going into this unprepared would probably end up in something akin to a Mr. Bean episode.
THE PLAN
Step 1# Find Partner:
1. Sherri - Hot, cheerleader… possibly fucking Jess.
2. Chauntelle - Also hot, related to Sherry… probably illegal.
3. Nicola - Cute, quiet, maybe Bi… Michelle's friend.
John cringed at promptly crossed her off the list.
3. Nicola - Cute, quiet, maybe Bi… Michelle's best friend.
4. Lisa - … Lesbian.
This wasn't going well. At all. John decided to stop his very short list right there and ponder over any other possible alternatives.
Step 1# Subsection A: (Because John was sort of anal about subheadings)
1. Find a Prostitute - STDs, pricey, gross.
2. Answer a Personal Ad - Creepy, pathetic.
3. Make a Personal Ad - See Above.
4. Travel to Thailand - See Prostitutes.
5. Boys -
It wasn't the worst idea, was it? John was comfortable with himself and his sexuality, though maybe writing that down wasn't the best indication that he was. Then, of course, he started writing down names because over thinking it would only mean something.
Step 1# Subsection B:
1. Jesse - Oh God. NO.
2. Brian - Friendly but sort of butch. Has a girlfriend.
3. Garrett - Nice? Open? Easy going? (John thinks the amount of question marks he's put there are enough to say something.)
4. Adam - Cute, has shiny girl-like hair, probably Bi… Michelle's current crush.
5. Jamison - Very gay, very emo.
6. Parker - Jamison's boy.
7. Conor - See Prostitutes.
8. Vinnie - Nice, cute, open-minded, Bi.
John thought about that for a moment, not bothering to ponder over the fact his male list was a lot longer than his female one
Step 2# Apparatus: (Because, well, John was a Science dork)
1. Condoms.
2. Lube (the boy thing was going to have to be kept in mind and John wasn't completely oblivious to how the whole Pitcher, Catcher thing worked).
3. Candles (for atmosphere)
4. Convenient Place - Back of car, bedroom, motel, Jesse's garage hideout, treehouse…
5. Smith CD, preferably not Meat is Murder (if worse comes to worse, Morrissey was bound to help John rise to the occasion. Ahem)
Step 3# Plan of Seduction:
1. Find topics of conversation.
2. Be polite.
3. Make list of possible get-away excuses (just in case).
4. Find out family history.
The last point was mostly to benefit John's safety, in case a brother or uncle had been imprisoned for grievous bodily harm or manslaughter in protection of another's supposed virtue. It's not that John was cowardly, per se, it was more so that he was the only male Nolan left and for the family name to discontinue would really be unfortunate. His mom would be sad, oh she really would and he didn't want to make her sad ever. There was also that small matter in which John didn't want to die, so really, this plan of his? It was good.
It mightn't be perfect but it was a plan and hey, at least he had one.
Right?
- - - -
Yes, that's what I think about in my spare time.
What? You don't think it's even mildly entertaining John Nolan makes written plans on how to lose his adolescent virginity? I think it's bloody hilarious.
Anyway. Everyone's read that amazing Zombie AU!fic already, right? Right? Really, if you haven't, you're missing out. Okay, if you're like me and the beginning didn't do it for you just keep reading! I promise you it gets better and better and by the end of it, well. You'll love it.
You don't even have to like Panic! or FOB fic, it's worth it even if you don't. Trust me.
I didn't even think I could burn, but apparently I can because my arms and legs have weird tan lines and my shoulders look like they might peel. Oh God, the horror. Did I mention I wore sunscreen? Because I did and I'm pretty sure I'm going to get skin cancer and die a long, painful death. If not, I expect my family to stock more Aloe Vera gel for the future.
In any case, I have nothing of substance to say right now and even if I did, I probably would have forgotten within the hour anyway. In the meantime, let me introduce you to a snippet of thought and show you exactly what my brain thinks about in "idle time".
How to Lose Your Virginity in About Three Steps, According to John Nolan
There were some things everyone took for granted and some things that simply just were. Like the fact Michelle had started to worryingly obsess over John's best friend, his mother's sponge cakes actually being store bought and the fact boys thought about sex.
A lot. Most of the time. All the time even.
So, really, it wasn't such an uncommon thing for John to be lying in bed, staring at his ceiling and thinking about it now, was it?
No, it really wasn't except for that small detail that John has yet to do it, so to speak. He was 18, it wasn't so weird that he should be getting jiggy with it and sexing up a lot of things (all things), but he hadn't and so that was really what was uncommon.
He wasn't a terribly unfortunate looking boy, if his mother was anything to go by, and he wasn't riddled with STDs (he'd have to have done it with someone other than himself for that to have happened though) so then really, the question was, why hasn't he done it yet?
John had to have a plan of action, something fool-proof and sort of suave because if he was going to do this, he may as well come out of it looking good (with an inflated ego).
THE PLAN,
John wrote at the top of the page then underlined it, just to show how important The Plan was and to emphasis that he had a plan because going into this unprepared would probably end up in something akin to a Mr. Bean episode.
THE PLAN
Step 1# Find Partner:
1. Sherri - Hot, cheerleader… possibly fucking Jess.
2. Chauntelle - Also hot, related to Sherry… probably illegal.
3. Nicola - Cute, quiet, maybe Bi… Michelle's friend.
John cringed at promptly crossed her off the list.
3. Nicola - Cute, quiet, maybe Bi… Michelle's best friend.
4. Lisa - … Lesbian.
This wasn't going well. At all. John decided to stop his very short list right there and ponder over any other possible alternatives.
Step 1# Subsection A: (Because John was sort of anal about subheadings)
1. Find a Prostitute - STDs, pricey, gross.
2. Answer a Personal Ad - Creepy, pathetic.
3. Make a Personal Ad - See Above.
4. Travel to Thailand - See Prostitutes.
5. Boys -
It wasn't the worst idea, was it? John was comfortable with himself and his sexuality, though maybe writing that down wasn't the best indication that he was. Then, of course, he started writing down names because over thinking it would only mean something.
Step 1# Subsection B:
1. Jesse - Oh God. NO.
2. Brian - Friendly but sort of butch. Has a girlfriend.
3. Garrett - Nice? Open? Easy going? (John thinks the amount of question marks he's put there are enough to say something.)
4. Adam - Cute, has shiny girl-like hair, probably Bi… Michelle's current crush.
5. Jamison - Very gay, very emo.
6. Parker - Jamison's boy.
7. Conor - See Prostitutes.
8. Vinnie - Nice, cute, open-minded, Bi.
John thought about that for a moment, not bothering to ponder over the fact his male list was a lot longer than his female one
Step 2# Apparatus: (Because, well, John was a Science dork)
1. Condoms.
2. Lube (the boy thing was going to have to be kept in mind and John wasn't completely oblivious to how the whole Pitcher, Catcher thing worked).
3. Candles (for atmosphere)
4. Convenient Place - Back of car, bedroom, motel, Jesse's garage hideout, treehouse…
5. Smith CD, preferably not Meat is Murder (if worse comes to worse, Morrissey was bound to help John rise to the occasion. Ahem)
Step 3# Plan of Seduction:
1. Find topics of conversation.
2. Be polite.
3. Make list of possible get-away excuses (just in case).
4. Find out family history.
The last point was mostly to benefit John's safety, in case a brother or uncle had been imprisoned for grievous bodily harm or manslaughter in protection of another's supposed virtue. It's not that John was cowardly, per se, it was more so that he was the only male Nolan left and for the family name to discontinue would really be unfortunate. His mom would be sad, oh she really would and he didn't want to make her sad ever. There was also that small matter in which John didn't want to die, so really, this plan of his? It was good.
It mightn't be perfect but it was a plan and hey, at least he had one.
Right?
- - - -
Yes, that's what I think about in my spare time.
What? You don't think it's even mildly entertaining John Nolan makes written plans on how to lose his adolescent virginity? I think it's bloody hilarious.
Anyway. Everyone's read that amazing Zombie AU!fic already, right? Right? Really, if you haven't, you're missing out. Okay, if you're like me and the beginning didn't do it for you just keep reading! I promise you it gets better and better and by the end of it, well. You'll love it.
You don't even have to like Panic! or FOB fic, it's worth it even if you don't. Trust me.