AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH.
okay so yeah.
everyone is talking now. i dont know who heard what. but here it is people:
Me and joey were together for like 4months. we had alot of great times. he made me really happy. i loved him. he loved me. he treated me like a princess. everything was great for like 2months. although inside i was still hurt from wesley and i's break up. buttttt.. it was easy to not think about that hurt for a while.. kus we didnt talk much, and new relationships are always overwhelmingingly lovely. so we are okay and then wesley stuff starts bothering me. and joey and i get alot more serious. so..
drama starts. i start talking to wes more. joey hates taht. but i oculdnt get over wes. i know fucked upp...
but i dont knwo what to do and how to deal with taht.
i really tried my hardest to get rid of wesley. but i still loved him.. but i loved being with joey. so i just kept trying to avoid wes and pertend nothing was wrong. pretending can only last so long.
i cried everynight. i hated hurting joey. he was amazing.
then mardi gras.. feb 8 would of been me and wes 2yrs...so it was an emotional confusing time for me. and i saw wesley while joey marched in a parade. and wesley and i pecked, on the lips. not made out, pecked. FUCK. i know it was wrong. i feel horrible about it. i really do. i did and i still do. i hurt him..and i deserve to be hurt for that. but i couldnt straighten things out in my head.. and my heart. and how to choose one. no one understands, no one ever will i know. but it was complicated.
joey and i went throuhg alot of drama, and it was mostly bkus of me a nd wes. ppl hated me, and had a reason. kus i hurt their friend. and i was a mess. my way of dealing with pain is to be mad, i have a hard time accepting wen i dont know what to do. it sucks.
so joey gave me several chances and i kept letting him down. and then last friday i saw wesley. i told joey i was going to hang out with him sometime. i really didnt do anything more then two friends would. no kiss. no touching. nothing. but then joey found out sunday. he freaked. we broke up. he doesnt trust me. and i guess i understand all of that. so now, we are over.
he hates me. he doesnt want to talk to me. he doesnt want to be my friend. he doesnt trust me. he doesnt understand me. he wont look at me. i cant take it.
but...i deserve it for hurting him.
and now i cant hide my emotion. i cant help but breakdown and cry randomly in public when im just thinking about us. i cant do it. im so weak. so confused. im lost. im hurt.
i miss joey. alot. alot i lost him. he's gone. and he's only a memory. i love you joey. i hope your happy with oyur life. i hope you find love. i love you, but we didnt work. i never realized how much you meant to me. but now youre gone. and im still confused. but i love you. and i miss you. please dont forget me, please come back and be my friend one day. i cant stand losing you completely...
and now i know what its like to be alone. and confused. and im sorry i ever made u feel anything but loved. i wish i could fix it all. id do anything to rewind and do it all over the right way i love you..
everyone is talking now. i dont know who heard what. but here it is people:
Me and joey were together for like 4months. we had alot of great times. he made me really happy. i loved him. he loved me. he treated me like a princess. everything was great for like 2months. although inside i was still hurt from wesley and i's break up. buttttt.. it was easy to not think about that hurt for a while.. kus we didnt talk much, and new relationships are always overwhelmingingly lovely. so we are okay and then wesley stuff starts bothering me. and joey and i get alot more serious. so..
drama starts. i start talking to wes more. joey hates taht. but i oculdnt get over wes. i know fucked upp...
but i dont knwo what to do and how to deal with taht.
i really tried my hardest to get rid of wesley. but i still loved him.. but i loved being with joey. so i just kept trying to avoid wes and pertend nothing was wrong. pretending can only last so long.
i cried everynight. i hated hurting joey. he was amazing.
then mardi gras.. feb 8 would of been me and wes 2yrs...so it was an emotional confusing time for me. and i saw wesley while joey marched in a parade. and wesley and i pecked, on the lips. not made out, pecked. FUCK. i know it was wrong. i feel horrible about it. i really do. i did and i still do. i hurt him..and i deserve to be hurt for that. but i couldnt straighten things out in my head.. and my heart. and how to choose one. no one understands, no one ever will i know. but it was complicated.
joey and i went throuhg alot of drama, and it was mostly bkus of me a nd wes. ppl hated me, and had a reason. kus i hurt their friend. and i was a mess. my way of dealing with pain is to be mad, i have a hard time accepting wen i dont know what to do. it sucks.
so joey gave me several chances and i kept letting him down. and then last friday i saw wesley. i told joey i was going to hang out with him sometime. i really didnt do anything more then two friends would. no kiss. no touching. nothing. but then joey found out sunday. he freaked. we broke up. he doesnt trust me. and i guess i understand all of that. so now, we are over.
he hates me. he doesnt want to talk to me. he doesnt want to be my friend. he doesnt trust me. he doesnt understand me. he wont look at me. i cant take it.
but...i deserve it for hurting him.
and now i cant hide my emotion. i cant help but breakdown and cry randomly in public when im just thinking about us. i cant do it. im so weak. so confused. im lost. im hurt.
i miss joey. alot. alot i lost him. he's gone. and he's only a memory. i love you joey. i hope your happy with oyur life. i hope you find love. i love you, but we didnt work. i never realized how much you meant to me. but now youre gone. and im still confused. but i love you. and i miss you. please dont forget me, please come back and be my friend one day. i cant stand losing you completely...
and now i know what its like to be alone. and confused. and im sorry i ever made u feel anything but loved. i wish i could fix it all. id do anything to rewind and do it all over the right way i love you..