breaking apart all this love in my heart.

[love_lovely]

recently i have been writing my post about someone that means more then the world to me. someone i would do anything for and always thought would be in love with forever. im not going to keep it anything a secret anymore. Falling in love with him i wouldnt say was a bad choice of mine. im actually pretty pleased that i got to be the luckiest girl on earth. but something i do regret was making his feelings change. It was my cause that made this happen but theres nothing i can do now. hes happy as can be, so i guess i should just sit back at watch and smile because i want him to be happy. my post last week [ deleted now] many of you commented... most about opening a new chapter in my life. believe it or not i took alot of thought into it and ive come to find theres no start to a new chapter. so how are you suppost to put everything behide you with a fake smile and pretend everythings fine? opening a new chapter, relationship wise, would be one of the hardest things i'd ever do but i know i need to do it. maybe im just not ready. as few of you know, someone new came along. i hella liked him and ya know all that works, but then i remembered something one of my good friends told me. "you can't try to be in a relationship or like someone if your not completly over your past." thats probably one of the truest statements ive ever heard. so now.. here i am... same old sisituation i was in... thinking i might of had a start to a new chapter. but for now...i'll be okay.

i'll be just fine.
pretending im not.
im far from lonely.
and its all that i've got.