It's 6:21 am.

[love_like_lies]

I've officially ruined christmas. What a slap in the face. I tried my hardest to make it look like I care, get in the spirit of it and get everyone gifts. So I did, and yet somehow I still ruined it. It's not even christmas yet, but whatever. It's just a stupid day. It has no meaning to me. I can't explain why, so don't ask. Unless I already told you, and thats because I know you understand. For some reason it seems harder to do at this time. A couple of days before...and then I have to act like everything is fine. I don't know if I'll even leave my house and celebrate. I think I'll just stay home and hate myself. I wish you would just wait. Don't grow till I'm ready. I'm sorry.

You just sit there and sulk, sit there and bawl