(no subject)
Sometimes I get this craziness. Last night I left it on the burner and looked in the bottom of the beaker at what was left after boiling out the "zen."
The residual psyche muck from my childhood was anxiety over never feeling that my emotions other than happiness, especially anger, were validated.
So now I have this complex where I think people are trying to keep me from my full spectrum of feelings, when the entire ordeal is really inconsequential to my objectives anyways... It's like I'm hung up over getting in trouble more than my sister, over being hushed when I was upset indefinitely, over people divorcing and my mother not having the slightest how to handle real children... but that game has ended -- it's a new season -- there are different players and new strategies and rules and fields and equipment... but some piece of me can't get over the quiet injustice.
And it's stressing me out.
And stress is so fucking imaginary that I'm ashamed.
The residual psyche muck from my childhood was anxiety over never feeling that my emotions other than happiness, especially anger, were validated.
So now I have this complex where I think people are trying to keep me from my full spectrum of feelings, when the entire ordeal is really inconsequential to my objectives anyways... It's like I'm hung up over getting in trouble more than my sister, over being hushed when I was upset indefinitely, over people divorcing and my mother not having the slightest how to handle real children... but that game has ended -- it's a new season -- there are different players and new strategies and rules and fields and equipment... but some piece of me can't get over the quiet injustice.
And it's stressing me out.
And stress is so fucking imaginary that I'm ashamed.