Updates...
Tuesday the 20th
I went to the lib. after work to use the internet and I talked to Matt Carman. He told me that his brother needed to talk to me so I called and he wasn't there. So I talked to Matt and Candy for a bit. I guess his mother also wants to talk to me but she wasn't home either. I just don't know what he wants to tell me. I mean, we dated back when I was 14 and his mother has adored me ever since. I just don't know. I'm stuck I guess... I'm trying for this one guy but if Ricky wants to come back I sorta.. correction.. I do want him back in my life. I just need some time to think and I know what some people are probably thinking. This other guy isn't worth it.. no one likes him but all I'm saying is he acts differently around me than anyone else. I just wish people wouldn't judge him. And speaking of him.. he has a message to you water safari people... he was thinking of you today while he was out on the lake... I don't know.. he wanted me to express that to everyone. Yeah, he's cocky.. but I like it.
Thursday the 29th
I talked to Ricky and he told me he was joining the navy. I think he wants to get back together with me. I'm not sure... I mean he is leaving for the navy and all. I just don't know how it would work out. And now it feels like Brian is ignoring me so I think it's time to play the phone game. I'm not calling him for a while. Lets see if he'll call me. I'm sick of this him calling me when he needs a friend but has no time when I call him. I just think it's time to give up on him. Maybe he really hasn't changed.... I just don't need a friend when he wants. I need someone who is always there and doesn't give me this bullshit about "I'll call you later" and never does. I'm just sick of it... Maybe I will go back with Ricky. I did miss him. Just, there's something about Brian.. but maybe it's a bad thing and I'm just now seeing it. I can see it all coming later when I'm back at school and the summer's over. I can see him calling me to come up here but during the summer when I am here I don't get the time of day. I just don't get it... sometimes too much of a good thing is bad. And today I got pissed at my friend. She was talking about how bad it was that her crush found out she liked him and she was all pissy about it. I just told her to chill out and not worry but she flipped a shit. I just wanted to scream at her how it's not that bad.. that a bad thing was something that happened to me and that I have to live with this my entire life... I will never forgive that person for what he did and he was my best guy friend. I just don't want people to know... because then they would think so differently of me and then they would know that no matter how strong you are.. bad things can happen to anyone. Maybe someday I'll come out and tell everyone but I just don't want to right now.. all I can say is there is a perfect song to represent what happened and it's Night Drive by The All American Rejects. I did know him better then the city in the rear view... and he did wreck my life....
Wednesday the 5th
I pulled my groin yesterday so I didn't work today. I'm going in tomorrow but I'm not too sure what they will have me do. Working last night sucked. I don't think I left the register for more than 5 mins at a time. It was insane. Ricky came to visit though so that was nice. I have yet to see Brian... I think I may give up on trying to see him this summer... I just don't think it will work out. Oh well...
I went to the lib. after work to use the internet and I talked to Matt Carman. He told me that his brother needed to talk to me so I called and he wasn't there. So I talked to Matt and Candy for a bit. I guess his mother also wants to talk to me but she wasn't home either. I just don't know what he wants to tell me. I mean, we dated back when I was 14 and his mother has adored me ever since. I just don't know. I'm stuck I guess... I'm trying for this one guy but if Ricky wants to come back I sorta.. correction.. I do want him back in my life. I just need some time to think and I know what some people are probably thinking. This other guy isn't worth it.. no one likes him but all I'm saying is he acts differently around me than anyone else. I just wish people wouldn't judge him. And speaking of him.. he has a message to you water safari people... he was thinking of you today while he was out on the lake... I don't know.. he wanted me to express that to everyone. Yeah, he's cocky.. but I like it.
Thursday the 29th
I talked to Ricky and he told me he was joining the navy. I think he wants to get back together with me. I'm not sure... I mean he is leaving for the navy and all. I just don't know how it would work out. And now it feels like Brian is ignoring me so I think it's time to play the phone game. I'm not calling him for a while. Lets see if he'll call me. I'm sick of this him calling me when he needs a friend but has no time when I call him. I just think it's time to give up on him. Maybe he really hasn't changed.... I just don't need a friend when he wants. I need someone who is always there and doesn't give me this bullshit about "I'll call you later" and never does. I'm just sick of it... Maybe I will go back with Ricky. I did miss him. Just, there's something about Brian.. but maybe it's a bad thing and I'm just now seeing it. I can see it all coming later when I'm back at school and the summer's over. I can see him calling me to come up here but during the summer when I am here I don't get the time of day. I just don't get it... sometimes too much of a good thing is bad. And today I got pissed at my friend. She was talking about how bad it was that her crush found out she liked him and she was all pissy about it. I just told her to chill out and not worry but she flipped a shit. I just wanted to scream at her how it's not that bad.. that a bad thing was something that happened to me and that I have to live with this my entire life... I will never forgive that person for what he did and he was my best guy friend. I just don't want people to know... because then they would think so differently of me and then they would know that no matter how strong you are.. bad things can happen to anyone. Maybe someday I'll come out and tell everyone but I just don't want to right now.. all I can say is there is a perfect song to represent what happened and it's Night Drive by The All American Rejects. I did know him better then the city in the rear view... and he did wreck my life....
Wednesday the 5th
I pulled my groin yesterday so I didn't work today. I'm going in tomorrow but I'm not too sure what they will have me do. Working last night sucked. I don't think I left the register for more than 5 mins at a time. It was insane. Ricky came to visit though so that was nice. I have yet to see Brian... I think I may give up on trying to see him this summer... I just don't think it will work out. Oh well...