Three lifetimes (It's not enough)
Title: Three lifetimes (It's not enough)
Author: b_o_w_a
Rating: G
Summary: And he supposes that’s it there, he’s already got a lifetime of memories with Merlin.
Warnings: Character Death
Disclaimer: I do not own this characters.
Author's Notes (A/N): blame humbled_x for this, since she gave me the prompt :P
Silently Merlin stares at him, his baby blue eyes wide in shock. Unshed tears hid behind Merlin’s eyes, and the fact that Merlin’s trying to be strong for him makes Arthur want to hug Merlin and never let go.
He knows he looks bad, pale and skinny, his blonde hair gone. “Merlin,” his voice is weaker than it should be, his strength almost gone too. He holds out a hand for Merlin anyway.
And Merlin’s there in an instant, his tears breaking from behind the stone wall that Merlin built to keep them in.
Merlin climbs into the bed next to him, his skinny body fitting easily.
“I’m sorry Merlin, so sorry….” Gently Arthur holds Merlin close, their bodies fitting perfectly. “I shouldn’t have called you, I just…”
Arthur stars bleakly, everywhere except Merlin.
He’s dying.
And he knows that the end is soon.
And it scares him, scares him so much that he’s paralyzed by it. He knows it’s going to be today, can feel it.
And he called Merlin, begged him to come, cried on the phone like a scared little boy, because he doesn’t want to die alone.
And Merlin came.
“Don’t…don’t start, please,” Merlin’s eyes are closed tight, his face pained. Arthur can tell that Merlin knows this is the end too. That he’s trying to remember the good times that they laid like this, curled up together close enough to breathe the same air. Arthur can tell that Merlin’s trying to drown out the sounds of the hospital with all the good memories they have together, a whole lifetime of them.
And he supposes that’s it there, he’s already got a lifetime of memories with Merlin.
But he’s selfish, he wants another lifetime, another three lifetimes because one lifetime with Merlin isn’t enough, won’t ever be enough.
“I love you Merlin, forever.”
Arthur can feel Merlin’s wet tears on his neck, but he ignores them.
“I love you too Arthur, always.”
And those simple words, a permanent reminder that Merlin will be the always to his forever, make everything seem okay.
Except everything isn’t okay, far from okay.
Merlin’s strong, Arthur knows that, but even the strong are weak.
“Merlin….will…I need to know…will you be okay, when I’m gone?”
He can feel Merlin tense beside him, his body turning to stone, but his voice is soft when he answers. “It doesn’t matter; you won’t be leaving me, not until we’re old and grey.” He can hear the forced smile at the end, his chest tightening.
And Arthur knows, he knows, that Merlin’s not going to be, but he….
Silently his own tears start to fall.
….he needs Merlin to be okay.
“You should sleep Merlin, you don’t look well.”
He ignores Merlin’s glare, he can’t see it anyway, pulling him closer, his arms wrapping around the boy he grew up with, the man he fell in love with. The man he’s going to be leaving.
Slowly he runs his fingers through Merlin’s hair, just like the old times, when he would do it curled up on the couch with Merlin.
And now, just like then, Merlin’s breathing slowly becomes softer, a gentle in and out of life.
“I love you, Merlin, forever and always,” he whispers, softly, gently kissing Merlin.
Slowly he closes his eyes.
****
When they clean out Arthur’s room, handing all of his things to Morgana and Gwen because Merlin’s in shock, they find the two simple silver rings. And instead of handing them to Morgana or Gwen, they hand them to Merlin, a sad smile on their faces.
And in that moment, Merlin knows what his life would have been like if Arthur hadn’t gotten sick.
Perfect.
Author: b_o_w_a
Rating: G
Summary: And he supposes that’s it there, he’s already got a lifetime of memories with Merlin.
Warnings: Character Death
Disclaimer: I do not own this characters.
Author's Notes (A/N): blame humbled_x for this, since she gave me the prompt :P
Silently Merlin stares at him, his baby blue eyes wide in shock. Unshed tears hid behind Merlin’s eyes, and the fact that Merlin’s trying to be strong for him makes Arthur want to hug Merlin and never let go.
He knows he looks bad, pale and skinny, his blonde hair gone. “Merlin,” his voice is weaker than it should be, his strength almost gone too. He holds out a hand for Merlin anyway.
And Merlin’s there in an instant, his tears breaking from behind the stone wall that Merlin built to keep them in.
Merlin climbs into the bed next to him, his skinny body fitting easily.
“I’m sorry Merlin, so sorry….” Gently Arthur holds Merlin close, their bodies fitting perfectly. “I shouldn’t have called you, I just…”
Arthur stars bleakly, everywhere except Merlin.
He’s dying.
And he knows that the end is soon.
And it scares him, scares him so much that he’s paralyzed by it. He knows it’s going to be today, can feel it.
And he called Merlin, begged him to come, cried on the phone like a scared little boy, because he doesn’t want to die alone.
And Merlin came.
“Don’t…don’t start, please,” Merlin’s eyes are closed tight, his face pained. Arthur can tell that Merlin knows this is the end too. That he’s trying to remember the good times that they laid like this, curled up together close enough to breathe the same air. Arthur can tell that Merlin’s trying to drown out the sounds of the hospital with all the good memories they have together, a whole lifetime of them.
And he supposes that’s it there, he’s already got a lifetime of memories with Merlin.
But he’s selfish, he wants another lifetime, another three lifetimes because one lifetime with Merlin isn’t enough, won’t ever be enough.
“I love you Merlin, forever.”
Arthur can feel Merlin’s wet tears on his neck, but he ignores them.
“I love you too Arthur, always.”
And those simple words, a permanent reminder that Merlin will be the always to his forever, make everything seem okay.
Except everything isn’t okay, far from okay.
Merlin’s strong, Arthur knows that, but even the strong are weak.
“Merlin….will…I need to know…will you be okay, when I’m gone?”
He can feel Merlin tense beside him, his body turning to stone, but his voice is soft when he answers. “It doesn’t matter; you won’t be leaving me, not until we’re old and grey.” He can hear the forced smile at the end, his chest tightening.
And Arthur knows, he knows, that Merlin’s not going to be, but he….
Silently his own tears start to fall.
….he needs Merlin to be okay.
“You should sleep Merlin, you don’t look well.”
He ignores Merlin’s glare, he can’t see it anyway, pulling him closer, his arms wrapping around the boy he grew up with, the man he fell in love with. The man he’s going to be leaving.
Slowly he runs his fingers through Merlin’s hair, just like the old times, when he would do it curled up on the couch with Merlin.
And now, just like then, Merlin’s breathing slowly becomes softer, a gentle in and out of life.
“I love you, Merlin, forever and always,” he whispers, softly, gently kissing Merlin.
Slowly he closes his eyes.
****
When they clean out Arthur’s room, handing all of his things to Morgana and Gwen because Merlin’s in shock, they find the two simple silver rings. And instead of handing them to Morgana or Gwen, they hand them to Merlin, a sad smile on their faces.
And in that moment, Merlin knows what his life would have been like if Arthur hadn’t gotten sick.
Perfect.