Indiana Jones

May 22, 2008 03:17

Seriously.... There be spoilers.



ALIENS. MOTHER. FUCKING. ALIENS.

And I was so ANGRY at the lack of build up behind Indy being his dad. It's been rumored for HOW LONG now? And here comes KAREN FUCKING ALLEN going do do do- by the way, Indy's your dad.

HOW after weekends of watching nothing BUT Indiana Jones movies did I miss that his name was Henry. Makes sense... Junior and all. BUT WHAT THE FUCK.

Also, how does 'Mutt' = Henry? Oh. Is this a reference to Indiana being a dog? HARDY FUCKING HAR HAR.

Karen Allen? Where'd your testicles of awesome go, eh? Remember them? You used to drink, fight Germans, and be a classic Damsel in Distress without being such a fucking pussy. I miss you Marian Ravenwood. Come back to me. I'll treat you wrong, just how you like it. Also, WHAT THE HELL WITH MARRIED WOMEN LOSING THEIR AWESOME. Married women can still kick ass, so why does no one write them like they can.

HARRISON MOTHER FUCKING FORD SAID 'I HAVE A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS' AND I LOST MY SHIT. I WHOOPED, AND GOT SHUSHED. I WAS AT THE MIDNIGHT SHOWING. I WAS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO INDIANA JONES. WHAT THE HELL UNIVERSE. I CRAP MY PANTS FROM THE AWESOME AND THIS IS WHAT I GET?

All in all, it was excellent. Not the best... but better then two. Awesome for the first hour and forty minutes. After that you realize that no, the great secret of the movie is aliens - they are actually going to pull this shit. Steven Spielbrrg gave SO much hype about being all secrety and all the gossip ruined it. Obvs, the internet has ruined everything and no one can be trusted.

Aliens.

oh. my. god.

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