If your reading this then you really have no fuckign life
=WHERE THE FUCK IS MY FUCKING IPOD
I cant stand thinking anymore I NEED something to drown out. This fucking razor isn’t even working anymore. I just fucking want to sniff some fucking coke until my nose bleeds and then shot up. Then slice my wrist open and just watch it poor all over the floor. Can you see this world, Do under stand how much I hate you. I loath you I CANT FUCKING STAND YOU. and everyone in it. I only live for him and sometimes I wish he'd just let me lay in bed and slowly kill me without killing(whatever don’t fucking correct me you fucking bitch) I want to scream at everyone until THEIR ears bleed and they die slowly from the inside out. I want to just throw up my stomach feels so fucking queasy. And no one is to blame but myself. But it doesn’t make how I feel go away. And taking cheeps shots at some I love doesn’t solve anything. But I don’t Fucking care right now. He himself said misery loves company... Well when I’m upset so is everyone around me. He knew what he got himself into, I know what Cameron has said to him about the way I am. Oh, an dim not emotional... IM JUST FUCKING CARZY. ha ha ha! And I like the way that’s sounds.... SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER... I’m crazy your the fucking emotional ones... And if I’d prayed I’d pray for you all to kill yourself. And O’course the death of myself.
*sigh*
And writing this doesn’t help anything. It just leaves a window open for someone to read it and I get put back into stupid gossip and rumors when I haven’t said anything relevant to anything.
I just needed something to help me sleep. I have to to go threw another day.
GOD DAMN I cant stand being like this, Turning sadness into hate doesn’t do anything but make ME a bad person. I have become everything he says to me and everything people say about me. but its not who I am... Its what I became to stop being depressed. And I’ve only brought make an old addiction. But I don’t understand is why he stills try to seek this threw. I hope he knows I’m not going to get better. I don’t plan on it, I am Who I am. I HATE me, But imp not changing for anyone.(that's such a lie, If he truly wanted me to I would).
the only thing relevant to anything is this
I love him, I hate myself .
I cant stand thinking anymore I NEED something to drown out. This fucking razor isn’t even working anymore. I just fucking want to sniff some fucking coke until my nose bleeds and then shot up. Then slice my wrist open and just watch it poor all over the floor. Can you see this world, Do under stand how much I hate you. I loath you I CANT FUCKING STAND YOU. and everyone in it. I only live for him and sometimes I wish he'd just let me lay in bed and slowly kill me without killing(whatever don’t fucking correct me you fucking bitch) I want to scream at everyone until THEIR ears bleed and they die slowly from the inside out. I want to just throw up my stomach feels so fucking queasy. And no one is to blame but myself. But it doesn’t make how I feel go away. And taking cheeps shots at some I love doesn’t solve anything. But I don’t Fucking care right now. He himself said misery loves company... Well when I’m upset so is everyone around me. He knew what he got himself into, I know what Cameron has said to him about the way I am. Oh, an dim not emotional... IM JUST FUCKING CARZY. ha ha ha! And I like the way that’s sounds.... SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER... I’m crazy your the fucking emotional ones... And if I’d prayed I’d pray for you all to kill yourself. And O’course the death of myself.
*sigh*
And writing this doesn’t help anything. It just leaves a window open for someone to read it and I get put back into stupid gossip and rumors when I haven’t said anything relevant to anything.
I just needed something to help me sleep. I have to to go threw another day.
GOD DAMN I cant stand being like this, Turning sadness into hate doesn’t do anything but make ME a bad person. I have become everything he says to me and everything people say about me. but its not who I am... Its what I became to stop being depressed. And I’ve only brought make an old addiction. But I don’t understand is why he stills try to seek this threw. I hope he knows I’m not going to get better. I don’t plan on it, I am Who I am. I HATE me, But imp not changing for anyone.(that's such a lie, If he truly wanted me to I would).
the only thing relevant to anything is this
I love him, I hate myself .