(no subject)
Feeling kinda down.
Yeah, I know... me, feeling down? Heheheh.
Just... bleh. I'm coming down from my rebounds, from partying every night, from indiscriminate sex and the like. I had fun. I'll probably go out and start doing it again in a few weeks or months, but right now I'm feeling blah and anti-social. Depressed and icky.
Feeling very alone. Not so much lonely as isolated. Yes, I have tons of friends, people I'm very close to, but I don't really have those people, or that person, who I can connect with. Not on a sexual level, necessarily, but just someone who gets me.
I started having that, but I think I damaged that particular friendship last night. I'm not going to apologize for it, it was deserved and honest, but it still just makes me feel more alienated than ever.
Such is life.
Trying to budget. I still feel like Laz is going to jet out of here at any moment. I'm less panicky about it than I was, by a significant amount, really, but... yeah. I'm just feeling sad. Not wanting to go out and spend money, not wanting to do much of anything at the moment.
Which is, of course, a sign of depression.
I'll get my ass in gear soon. It's just a matter of determining which activity is the one I'm least "myeh" about doing. And... yeah. 1032AM on a Sunday morning, I'm lounging around in my PJs, cold as hell, slightly hungry, wanting to go back to bed but, for some reason, fearing it in a way. Which is just odd.
I dunno. I shouldn't stay in and mope, but... myeh. Maybe I'll go down to blockbuster and buy a bunch of used movies and watch those, all curled up on the couch. I just don't feel like putting a show on for anyone right now, don't feel like acting perky and silly. I don't want to doom and gloom around either, mind you, but I just want to curl up with someone and go "myeeeeh".
I'm just tired, I suppose.
We'll see how day goes.
Yeah, I know... me, feeling down? Heheheh.
Just... bleh. I'm coming down from my rebounds, from partying every night, from indiscriminate sex and the like. I had fun. I'll probably go out and start doing it again in a few weeks or months, but right now I'm feeling blah and anti-social. Depressed and icky.
Feeling very alone. Not so much lonely as isolated. Yes, I have tons of friends, people I'm very close to, but I don't really have those people, or that person, who I can connect with. Not on a sexual level, necessarily, but just someone who gets me.
I started having that, but I think I damaged that particular friendship last night. I'm not going to apologize for it, it was deserved and honest, but it still just makes me feel more alienated than ever.
Such is life.
Trying to budget. I still feel like Laz is going to jet out of here at any moment. I'm less panicky about it than I was, by a significant amount, really, but... yeah. I'm just feeling sad. Not wanting to go out and spend money, not wanting to do much of anything at the moment.
Which is, of course, a sign of depression.
I'll get my ass in gear soon. It's just a matter of determining which activity is the one I'm least "myeh" about doing. And... yeah. 1032AM on a Sunday morning, I'm lounging around in my PJs, cold as hell, slightly hungry, wanting to go back to bed but, for some reason, fearing it in a way. Which is just odd.
I dunno. I shouldn't stay in and mope, but... myeh. Maybe I'll go down to blockbuster and buy a bunch of used movies and watch those, all curled up on the couch. I just don't feel like putting a show on for anyone right now, don't feel like acting perky and silly. I don't want to doom and gloom around either, mind you, but I just want to curl up with someone and go "myeeeeh".
I'm just tired, I suppose.
We'll see how day goes.