Fic: Okay, kid, here's how it goes [Kyo gen]
Title: Okay, kid, here's how it goes
Author: xskadi
Character/Pairing: Kyo
Rating: PG, for mild language
Summary: Kyo gives his newborn daughter a pep talk. Sort of.
"I’m only going to say this once. And don’t repeat anything, okay? No, you can’t talk. You smell funny, too. Your mother’s sleeping; I’ll wake her up later to deal with that smell. But for now, listen.
"You’re my kid, which means you’re going to have certain responsibilities, you know, carrying on the legend. Yes, you’re going to have a lot of people coming up to you and challenging you to a fight because you’re the daughter of Onime no Kyo. Most of them aren’t going to be worth your time, so make them suffer before they die. That’s a rule. But don’t kill all of them; some of them are going to turn out to be useful. If you end up with hangers-on, limit them to about four people. You’ll get used to it, I promise.
"As soon as you learn to walk, you’re going to learn how to fight. I don’t care what your mother says. No daughter of mine is going to be helpless. My daughter. Helpless. Not happening. You’re going to be able to beat Shinrei by the time you’re ten. Hotaru at fifteen, Shihoudou at twenty. No, I can’t even beat Shihoudou when she’s actually trying. Maybe later, then. Always be man enough to admit that you can’t beat someone. Yes, you’re a girl. You know what I mean.
"Stay away from Shihoudou, by the way. She’ll teach you bad habits. And stay away from Julian. Both of those crazy old perverts. I’ll tell you stories, when you’re older. Tokito’s not a bad kid, though, but she’s going to turn out like Julian. At least she won’t have a stick up her ass, like her old man. Anyway-stay away from Shihoudou and Julian. That’s another rule, you hear?
"You hear?
"And Kyoshiro and Sakuya, okay, you’re allowed to go near them. Hotaru’s not too bad, either. Don’t bother with Akira until he gets loud and nasty. Akari’s not as bad as he seems. She seems. He. But call him a she, just to be nice. I didn’t say that, by the way. You didn’t hear that. Tora--not so bad. I'm worried for his kids, though.
"What I’m going to teach you is called Mumyojinpuu style. Suzaku, Genbu, Byakko, Seiryuu. And I expect at least one of those to be your first word. I’ll start you off with the mizuchi. Don’t worry about it, for now. You’re not allowed to be interested in other styles, but I won’t mind if you learn some hand-to-hand from Yuan, and that fire shit that Hotaru does could be useful. If you can get his stupid ass to focus for long enough to teach you. I don’t even think he knows how he does it.
"And the only excuse you’ll have to go near Julian is to learn sword making from him, but he already has an apprentice. Doesn’t need another one. Not that anyone could match Muramasa, not even his niece. I’ll tell you about Muramasa someday.
"Your mother, she worries. Let her. She’s tougher than she looks. I should probably wake her up now and make her deal with this smell.
"And, of course, you’re going to be the prettiest goddamn thing in all of Japan, because you’ve got my looks, and, let’s face it, I’m not bad to look at. Your mother”-he looked over his shoulder to where Yuya was still sleeping-"your mother didn’t mess you up that much. Good. I’ll have to beat the boys off with a stick. No one’s going to be good enough for you-no one’s getting within a hundred feet of you until you turn twenty. Thirty. I know what those nasty little bastards are going to have on their minds.
"Actually, no, your brothers are going to beat those nasty little bastards off. You’re going to have lots of little brothers, if I have any say in it. But you popped out first, so you’re going to inherit Tenrou. Not that I’m planning on dying anytime soon. Just to plan ahead.
"And Sasuke. Sasuke’s sixteen now, isn’t he? Sixteen. There’s a twelve-year age difference between me and your mother. No, you’re never going to meet Sasuke. Ever."
Author: xskadi
Character/Pairing: Kyo
Rating: PG, for mild language
Summary: Kyo gives his newborn daughter a pep talk. Sort of.
"I’m only going to say this once. And don’t repeat anything, okay? No, you can’t talk. You smell funny, too. Your mother’s sleeping; I’ll wake her up later to deal with that smell. But for now, listen.
"You’re my kid, which means you’re going to have certain responsibilities, you know, carrying on the legend. Yes, you’re going to have a lot of people coming up to you and challenging you to a fight because you’re the daughter of Onime no Kyo. Most of them aren’t going to be worth your time, so make them suffer before they die. That’s a rule. But don’t kill all of them; some of them are going to turn out to be useful. If you end up with hangers-on, limit them to about four people. You’ll get used to it, I promise.
"As soon as you learn to walk, you’re going to learn how to fight. I don’t care what your mother says. No daughter of mine is going to be helpless. My daughter. Helpless. Not happening. You’re going to be able to beat Shinrei by the time you’re ten. Hotaru at fifteen, Shihoudou at twenty. No, I can’t even beat Shihoudou when she’s actually trying. Maybe later, then. Always be man enough to admit that you can’t beat someone. Yes, you’re a girl. You know what I mean.
"Stay away from Shihoudou, by the way. She’ll teach you bad habits. And stay away from Julian. Both of those crazy old perverts. I’ll tell you stories, when you’re older. Tokito’s not a bad kid, though, but she’s going to turn out like Julian. At least she won’t have a stick up her ass, like her old man. Anyway-stay away from Shihoudou and Julian. That’s another rule, you hear?
"You hear?
"And Kyoshiro and Sakuya, okay, you’re allowed to go near them. Hotaru’s not too bad, either. Don’t bother with Akira until he gets loud and nasty. Akari’s not as bad as he seems. She seems. He. But call him a she, just to be nice. I didn’t say that, by the way. You didn’t hear that. Tora--not so bad. I'm worried for his kids, though.
"What I’m going to teach you is called Mumyojinpuu style. Suzaku, Genbu, Byakko, Seiryuu. And I expect at least one of those to be your first word. I’ll start you off with the mizuchi. Don’t worry about it, for now. You’re not allowed to be interested in other styles, but I won’t mind if you learn some hand-to-hand from Yuan, and that fire shit that Hotaru does could be useful. If you can get his stupid ass to focus for long enough to teach you. I don’t even think he knows how he does it.
"And the only excuse you’ll have to go near Julian is to learn sword making from him, but he already has an apprentice. Doesn’t need another one. Not that anyone could match Muramasa, not even his niece. I’ll tell you about Muramasa someday.
"Your mother, she worries. Let her. She’s tougher than she looks. I should probably wake her up now and make her deal with this smell.
"And, of course, you’re going to be the prettiest goddamn thing in all of Japan, because you’ve got my looks, and, let’s face it, I’m not bad to look at. Your mother”-he looked over his shoulder to where Yuya was still sleeping-"your mother didn’t mess you up that much. Good. I’ll have to beat the boys off with a stick. No one’s going to be good enough for you-no one’s getting within a hundred feet of you until you turn twenty. Thirty. I know what those nasty little bastards are going to have on their minds.
"Actually, no, your brothers are going to beat those nasty little bastards off. You’re going to have lots of little brothers, if I have any say in it. But you popped out first, so you’re going to inherit Tenrou. Not that I’m planning on dying anytime soon. Just to plan ahead.
"And Sasuke. Sasuke’s sixteen now, isn’t he? Sixteen. There’s a twelve-year age difference between me and your mother. No, you’re never going to meet Sasuke. Ever."