Challenge 7 Fic / A Drunkard
CHALLENGE 7: SAKE DRAGON
Sorry! I had to repost because of some grammar mistakes and format issues.
Title: A Drunkard
Author: Ekachi/Vitalquills
Rating: PG for language
Disclaimer: Akimine Kamijyo owns all.
Ahh... another attempt at humour! I hope you enjoy it nonetheless... Thank you!
***
“Shinrei, you are drunk.” Akira stated with an aggravating finality. “It is, I believe, time for you to stop drinking.”
“Well, you… are crazy.” Shinrei mumbled with a bottle of sake in his hands, pointing rudely at the samurai sitting across from him. “Why don’t you drink, you wussy? Or did Kyo tell you not to, brother’s boy?”
“Shinrei, drunk, Shinrei, drunk! Drunk on two small bottles of sake! Loser, loser, loser.” Hotaru sang a tune lying on the floor through his loose tongue. He was amusing himself by setting spilled alcohol on fire.
“I bet you don’t drink because your wife would kick your ass. You pussy-whipped low-life.” He had another sip, clumsily dripping the liquid on his fair white hair.
“I truly think that it’s time to draw the line, Shinrei. I don’t like you, but I’d hate to see you at a lower state.” Akira kept up his stoic smirk that mocked the virtuous, now revealing the foulest of his nature. To observe a righteous man fallen from grace was definitely fun.
“Shinrei, drunk, Shinrei, drunk! Loser, loser, loser.” Hotaru looked up at his stuck-up brother thoughtlessly as always… and thought he saw something of perfect beauty in the pair of flushed eyes. He got up and slowly approached him as if to kiss his red cheeks.
“What the hell do you think you are doing?” He tried to comprehend his half-brother’s keen and wide-eyed interest in something on his face, although his vision was blurred.
Hotaru began to touch his hair gently, now wet with sake. The head glistened under the moonlight, and sake always had the tendency to make everything look more dazzling, arousing long-forgotten passions. Compulsively, he placed his lips near Shinrei's ears and whispered to the blushing boy.
“Alcohol in your hair.” With these words, Hotaru inflamed it in its entirety. “Fire, fire, fire.”
It took the inebriated protector of Mibu a second or two before the big realization struck him: his hair was on fire.
“AAAAARGH!!” Shinrei let out a scream as a humongous flame overcame his hair. He kicked Hotaru off of him and punched him hastily, but the fire did not go away.
“AAAAARGH!!” He continued to yell. Akira was twisting on the floor, laughing without a chance to properly breathe, and Hotaru was watching intently as his massive fire slowly devoured the water-wielder’s hair. He was mesmerized by the dancing flames, forever symbolizing the chaos and its freedom… and burning Shinrei’s once pretty and poofy hair. An evil smirk spilled out of his lips, and he sat motionlessly as if he was a stone Buddha, refusing to help him out of the trouble. Akira was laughing too hard to do anything about the situation. After all, Shinrei was left on his own to save himself from baldness; baldness would be a scar to his dignity, for he would definitely look fifty.
“AAAAARGH!!” Shinrei began to slap his head with anything he could find: cushions, paintings around the room, his hands, et cetera. He even banged his head onto the floor repeatedly, but nothing helped. It would take more than that to save himself. The room was filling up with a disturbing odour, peculiar to burning hair.
Shinrei stopped dead in the middle of the room to concentrate on thinking; after all, his “comrades” proved to be completely useless, and he had to think up a way to seize this fire from leaving him completely bald. What extinguishes fire? Fire, fire, fire… He tried to remember the specific element that came handy in extinguishing Hotaru’s hellish element… WATER.
He looked around and tried to find a source of water. The nearby artificial pond was under construction due to a flood last spring, and they were waiting on the plumber to fix the castle’s pipes, because something - most likely Akari’s hair rollers - got stuck in them. Believe it or not, there was no sufficient source of water at the time. Not nearly enough to extinguish so great a fire.
*drip*
A droplet of sake fell from his nearly-empty bottle. Shinrei looked around the room and found at least twenty bottles of sake, not yet opened.
There wasn’t enough time to think. It would be a minute before all of his hair burns off and his scalp is exposed... which will also burn if not dealt with quickly. Every second was precious.
Shinrei gathered his forces and called upon his powers to stimulate the liquid. With a great grunt, all the sake in the room began to resonate in the closed bottles as a response to their elemental ruler. When Shinrei grunted again, the bottles burst violently and left shattered porcelain all over. Akira and Hotaru sat in awe.
The liquid floated buoyantly in the air for a few seconds, and quickly combined to take the shape of a massive dragon. The fire was still burning furiously atop his head. He skilfully directed the beast, and rushed it aggresively into himself. Simply because of the dragon’s size, the fire was put out, much to Hotaru’s annoyance.
“Gah, I hate water.” He remarked.
"You mean, you hate sake." Akira began to laugh again.
Shinrei would kill the two who left nearly all of his hair fuzzy and short as if he had just gotten an ugly buzz-cut; but although he was now fully awake, his knees weakened, and he had to lie down from so immense a stress that overcame so suddenly. He would kill the sadists, the evil audience of the Sake Dragon’s dance... but only after he has a quick nap. With that thought still hanging in the air, the drunkard passed out.
FIN
***
Aww. I am so mean to Shinrei... But he is so much fun to bully! *ashamed*
Comments would be awesome! Thank you for reading it! ... I hope it was kinda funny! :P
***EDITED!
Sorry! I had to repost because of some grammar mistakes and format issues.
Title: A Drunkard
Author: Ekachi/Vitalquills
Rating: PG for language
Disclaimer: Akimine Kamijyo owns all.
Ahh... another attempt at humour! I hope you enjoy it nonetheless... Thank you!
***
“Shinrei, you are drunk.” Akira stated with an aggravating finality. “It is, I believe, time for you to stop drinking.”
“Well, you… are crazy.” Shinrei mumbled with a bottle of sake in his hands, pointing rudely at the samurai sitting across from him. “Why don’t you drink, you wussy? Or did Kyo tell you not to, brother’s boy?”
“Shinrei, drunk, Shinrei, drunk! Drunk on two small bottles of sake! Loser, loser, loser.” Hotaru sang a tune lying on the floor through his loose tongue. He was amusing himself by setting spilled alcohol on fire.
“I bet you don’t drink because your wife would kick your ass. You pussy-whipped low-life.” He had another sip, clumsily dripping the liquid on his fair white hair.
“I truly think that it’s time to draw the line, Shinrei. I don’t like you, but I’d hate to see you at a lower state.” Akira kept up his stoic smirk that mocked the virtuous, now revealing the foulest of his nature. To observe a righteous man fallen from grace was definitely fun.
“Shinrei, drunk, Shinrei, drunk! Loser, loser, loser.” Hotaru looked up at his stuck-up brother thoughtlessly as always… and thought he saw something of perfect beauty in the pair of flushed eyes. He got up and slowly approached him as if to kiss his red cheeks.
“What the hell do you think you are doing?” He tried to comprehend his half-brother’s keen and wide-eyed interest in something on his face, although his vision was blurred.
Hotaru began to touch his hair gently, now wet with sake. The head glistened under the moonlight, and sake always had the tendency to make everything look more dazzling, arousing long-forgotten passions. Compulsively, he placed his lips near Shinrei's ears and whispered to the blushing boy.
“Alcohol in your hair.” With these words, Hotaru inflamed it in its entirety. “Fire, fire, fire.”
It took the inebriated protector of Mibu a second or two before the big realization struck him: his hair was on fire.
“AAAAARGH!!” Shinrei let out a scream as a humongous flame overcame his hair. He kicked Hotaru off of him and punched him hastily, but the fire did not go away.
“AAAAARGH!!” He continued to yell. Akira was twisting on the floor, laughing without a chance to properly breathe, and Hotaru was watching intently as his massive fire slowly devoured the water-wielder’s hair. He was mesmerized by the dancing flames, forever symbolizing the chaos and its freedom… and burning Shinrei’s once pretty and poofy hair. An evil smirk spilled out of his lips, and he sat motionlessly as if he was a stone Buddha, refusing to help him out of the trouble. Akira was laughing too hard to do anything about the situation. After all, Shinrei was left on his own to save himself from baldness; baldness would be a scar to his dignity, for he would definitely look fifty.
“AAAAARGH!!” Shinrei began to slap his head with anything he could find: cushions, paintings around the room, his hands, et cetera. He even banged his head onto the floor repeatedly, but nothing helped. It would take more than that to save himself. The room was filling up with a disturbing odour, peculiar to burning hair.
Shinrei stopped dead in the middle of the room to concentrate on thinking; after all, his “comrades” proved to be completely useless, and he had to think up a way to seize this fire from leaving him completely bald. What extinguishes fire? Fire, fire, fire… He tried to remember the specific element that came handy in extinguishing Hotaru’s hellish element… WATER.
He looked around and tried to find a source of water. The nearby artificial pond was under construction due to a flood last spring, and they were waiting on the plumber to fix the castle’s pipes, because something - most likely Akari’s hair rollers - got stuck in them. Believe it or not, there was no sufficient source of water at the time. Not nearly enough to extinguish so great a fire.
*drip*
A droplet of sake fell from his nearly-empty bottle. Shinrei looked around the room and found at least twenty bottles of sake, not yet opened.
There wasn’t enough time to think. It would be a minute before all of his hair burns off and his scalp is exposed... which will also burn if not dealt with quickly. Every second was precious.
Shinrei gathered his forces and called upon his powers to stimulate the liquid. With a great grunt, all the sake in the room began to resonate in the closed bottles as a response to their elemental ruler. When Shinrei grunted again, the bottles burst violently and left shattered porcelain all over. Akira and Hotaru sat in awe.
The liquid floated buoyantly in the air for a few seconds, and quickly combined to take the shape of a massive dragon. The fire was still burning furiously atop his head. He skilfully directed the beast, and rushed it aggresively into himself. Simply because of the dragon’s size, the fire was put out, much to Hotaru’s annoyance.
“Gah, I hate water.” He remarked.
"You mean, you hate sake." Akira began to laugh again.
Shinrei would kill the two who left nearly all of his hair fuzzy and short as if he had just gotten an ugly buzz-cut; but although he was now fully awake, his knees weakened, and he had to lie down from so immense a stress that overcame so suddenly. He would kill the sadists, the evil audience of the Sake Dragon’s dance... but only after he has a quick nap. With that thought still hanging in the air, the drunkard passed out.
FIN
***
Aww. I am so mean to Shinrei... But he is so much fun to bully! *ashamed*
Comments would be awesome! Thank you for reading it! ... I hope it was kinda funny! :P
***EDITED!