(no subject)
i feel.. i feel like im watching the life i want live pass me by. i see things that i want to be doing, only im not doing them. i see myself smiling, but all ive been doing is fighting back tears. life is going by too fast for me and i can't seem to catch up with it, what if i never do?
EDIT: so why the fuck does working make me feel better? like thats why i started crying, well partially, this afternoon, partially cause i hate my mom. i dont get it. maybe its cause billy liked my glasses and was really nice to me? maybe it was cause lina, meg & dana came to visit me(that made me "yelp" soooooo loud! like everyone stared at me haha) i dont really know. i should be sad as hell cause i missed the "unofficial cast party"- i wanted to go sooo badly! but i feel like i wouldnt have had fun. i tend to cry when i drink, and well, most likely i would have cause i know he would be there. eh, whatever. tomorrow i have SAT class, my teacher is pretty dang cool. then i have to work, hopefully i'll get in a good mood. awe. i wanted to party tomorrow night, but it doesnt look good for me. dang. oh well. there's all break. yes.. loving the optomistic view.
EDIT: so why the fuck does working make me feel better? like thats why i started crying, well partially, this afternoon, partially cause i hate my mom. i dont get it. maybe its cause billy liked my glasses and was really nice to me? maybe it was cause lina, meg & dana came to visit me(that made me "yelp" soooooo loud! like everyone stared at me haha) i dont really know. i should be sad as hell cause i missed the "unofficial cast party"- i wanted to go sooo badly! but i feel like i wouldnt have had fun. i tend to cry when i drink, and well, most likely i would have cause i know he would be there. eh, whatever. tomorrow i have SAT class, my teacher is pretty dang cool. then i have to work, hopefully i'll get in a good mood. awe. i wanted to party tomorrow night, but it doesnt look good for me. dang. oh well. there's all break. yes.. loving the optomistic view.