(no subject)
life as i've known it for the past 9 months has just crashed. i had to make myself fall out of love, i'm miserable. i don't think i've hurt this bad...how do things go from happy to hell in a day. i just got home from vacation with him, (figured out i fell in love that weekend) and then now where i'm at....which is in my computer room balling my eyes out...wondering why i let this happen...how it happened...why it happens to me EVERY FUCKING TIME. I guess i'm kind of angry...but i'm really depressed...like really really sad. I haven't ate or slept...do u know how hard it is to work so hard for nothing? i'm sure you do. I should have known once i found the courage to say to myself i loved him...that i would get my heart snapped into pieces. it's not broken..it's demolished..and i'm sure it's going to be a long time before i go another round with someone. funny thing is...i wasn't trying to have the feeling of love...i wasn't. it just finally hit me...and now at me..well you can't right now. but trust me i'm lookin a mess.
i have this weekend off...well let me rephrase..i have saturday off. i will be at crystals friday night recovering from a HORRIFICALLY TERRIBBLY HORRIBLE AWFULLY AWFUL WEEK. and sunday i work.
i have this weekend off...well let me rephrase..i have saturday off. i will be at crystals friday night recovering from a HORRIFICALLY TERRIBBLY HORRIBLE AWFULLY AWFUL WEEK. and sunday i work.