This is hilarious.
The following in an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants" by Dave Pilkey. The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names......
Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:
a = poopsie b = lumpy c = buttercup
d = gadget e = crusty f = greasy
g = fluffy h = cheeseball i = chim-chim
j = stinky k = flunky l = bootie
m = pinky n = zippy o = goober
p = doofus q = slimy r = loopy
s = snotty t = tootie u = dorkey
v = squeezit w = oprah x = skipper
y = dinky z = zsa-zsa
Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:
a = apple b = toilet c = giggle
d = burger e = girdle f = barf
g = lizard h = waffle i = cootie
j = monkey k = potty l = liver
m = banana n = rhino o = bubble
p = hamster q = toad r = gizzard
s = pizza t = gerbil u = chicken
v = pickle w = chuckle x = tofu
y = gorilla z = stinker
Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:
a = head b = mouth c = face
d = nose e = tush f = breath
g = pants h = shorts i = lips
j = honker k = butt l = brain
m = tushie n = biscuits o = hiney
p = chunks q = toes r = buns
s = fanny t = sniffer u = sprinkles
v = kisser w = squirt x = humperdinck
y = brains z = juice
My new name is Zippy Cootieshorts.
My dad's is Pinkie Cootieshorts.
My moms is also Zippy Cootieshorts (I guess that means I am a "jr.)
Carrie's is Loopy Cootieshorts.
Laurie's is Dorkey Cootieshorts.
Reggie (the black cat) is Fluffy Cootieshorts.
Dot (the other cat) is Tootie Cootieshorts.
Daisy (the guinea pig) is Chim-Chim Cootieshorts.
Ok. Have fun.
Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:
a = poopsie b = lumpy c = buttercup
d = gadget e = crusty f = greasy
g = fluffy h = cheeseball i = chim-chim
j = stinky k = flunky l = bootie
m = pinky n = zippy o = goober
p = doofus q = slimy r = loopy
s = snotty t = tootie u = dorkey
v = squeezit w = oprah x = skipper
y = dinky z = zsa-zsa
Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:
a = apple b = toilet c = giggle
d = burger e = girdle f = barf
g = lizard h = waffle i = cootie
j = monkey k = potty l = liver
m = banana n = rhino o = bubble
p = hamster q = toad r = gizzard
s = pizza t = gerbil u = chicken
v = pickle w = chuckle x = tofu
y = gorilla z = stinker
Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:
a = head b = mouth c = face
d = nose e = tush f = breath
g = pants h = shorts i = lips
j = honker k = butt l = brain
m = tushie n = biscuits o = hiney
p = chunks q = toes r = buns
s = fanny t = sniffer u = sprinkles
v = kisser w = squirt x = humperdinck
y = brains z = juice
My new name is Zippy Cootieshorts.
My dad's is Pinkie Cootieshorts.
My moms is also Zippy Cootieshorts (I guess that means I am a "jr.)
Carrie's is Loopy Cootieshorts.
Laurie's is Dorkey Cootieshorts.
Reggie (the black cat) is Fluffy Cootieshorts.
Dot (the other cat) is Tootie Cootieshorts.
Daisy (the guinea pig) is Chim-Chim Cootieshorts.
Ok. Have fun.