...
Last night, I talked to Preston online for a lil while...I kinda got bummed out tho. He told me he likes me but not as much as I want him to or something like that. I dont know what to say to that, I tried to explain that I dont care if he llikes me alot or a lil, bc Ive kinda figured that he doesnt like me as much ne more. But, he told me to call him when i said I had to get off, and I really shouldn't have, bc then maybe I wouldnt be in the kind of mood I am in right now....the kind of mood where I am just in the mood to give up bc I am so depressed right now. It really sucks. Like, I called him, and all he did was sing..and alot of em were like love songs, and I started crying. And then he sung part of the song that he "wrote for me" (which i am not even sure that he did ne more) and I was like I gotta go. Bc I wasnt really in the mood to hear all of this, and then he sung "Letters To You" by Finch and there is a part that says "Can't you see
That I wanna be
There with open arms
It's empty tonight
And I'm all alone
Get me through this one
Do you notice I'm gone?
Where do you run to
So far away?
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so"
so yeah... I kinda think that he was singing it to me bc like I told him I wasnt gonna stay on the phone bc I didnt wanna be depressed and w/e and then when he was done, he didnt say ne thing for a while. Last time I talked to him, he told me that working out works best when ur mad or sad, so I started doing curls and push-ups and crunches, and I hoped he would get the point, but I guess not. He set his bed on fire tho, so I laughed and I guess I kinda threw him off a bit. He was way too happy, seriously, he was singing if ur happy and u know it. and then he made up this song "i feel lucky in my rubber duckies" yada yada yada.....that was funny too.. I tried harrd not to laugh, but it didnt work too well.......I wanna tell him that I dont want to talk to him ne more, bc I dont wanna get hurt ya know, but I dont know what to say, so if ne one has ne ideas, comment!!!! This is my best and only way so far:"I'm so sick of getting hurt, lied to, lead on, and everything... I am just gonna give up on it all. I thought I had something good, but I guess not....
Eventually, I will get over it, as I did before, but for now, I'm not over it. I just hope I don't end up like before (Most of you know what I am talking about.)
So, for now, I am away being depressed and thinking again, (mostly thinking because someone decided to get a song stuck in my head :-( ). I will be back when I am done.
peAce" oh well, ok, well, Im gonna go now. peAce.
4 weeks 5 days 11 hours 17 minutes 4 seconds Rock the Universe... :-D
That I wanna be
There with open arms
It's empty tonight
And I'm all alone
Get me through this one
Do you notice I'm gone?
Where do you run to
So far away?
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so"
so yeah... I kinda think that he was singing it to me bc like I told him I wasnt gonna stay on the phone bc I didnt wanna be depressed and w/e and then when he was done, he didnt say ne thing for a while. Last time I talked to him, he told me that working out works best when ur mad or sad, so I started doing curls and push-ups and crunches, and I hoped he would get the point, but I guess not. He set his bed on fire tho, so I laughed and I guess I kinda threw him off a bit. He was way too happy, seriously, he was singing if ur happy and u know it. and then he made up this song "i feel lucky in my rubber duckies" yada yada yada.....that was funny too.. I tried harrd not to laugh, but it didnt work too well.......I wanna tell him that I dont want to talk to him ne more, bc I dont wanna get hurt ya know, but I dont know what to say, so if ne one has ne ideas, comment!!!! This is my best and only way so far:"I'm so sick of getting hurt, lied to, lead on, and everything... I am just gonna give up on it all. I thought I had something good, but I guess not....
Eventually, I will get over it, as I did before, but for now, I'm not over it. I just hope I don't end up like before (Most of you know what I am talking about.)
So, for now, I am away being depressed and thinking again, (mostly thinking because someone decided to get a song stuck in my head :-( ). I will be back when I am done.
peAce" oh well, ok, well, Im gonna go now. peAce.
4 weeks 5 days 11 hours 17 minutes 4 seconds Rock the Universe... :-D