(no subject)
i dont really think many people read this...if anyone...so i think its okay to write embarrassing personal revelations in here...as long as no names are mentioned that is.
Sitting in the tub i was thinking cause there isnt much else to do in a bathtub...well anyways i was thinking reflecting and all that jazz ya know? and i decided that i need to stop reading romance novels need to stop watching movies involving romance and need to just stop thinking about it because it is complete b.s. theres no use waiting around and wishing that some amazing man is going to come into my life and change everything....to make me believe in love again, there isnt a man out there to send shivers up and down my spine and love me the way i yearn to be loved because it isn't real...that is something that woman make up and fantasize and write about and send out the wrong impression that it is real making you imagine you have something when you dont...making you want something that isnt real making you believe in it and hope and wish and think about it when its not real...what is real is the here and now and i better not forget it..its living day to day its you know getting good grades and having fun with your friends and umm crotchetting teddy bears and your moms friends on methadone and your dad out on his boat and never coming home and your brother not setting the example...its being afraid of things but doing them anyways...its not this fantasy that i had been thinking about and its nothing of importance anyways....its not something i want even....i dont need a guy in my life im perfectly content without one so i need to stop even thinking about it, cause when i stop setting my affections for guys who are emotionally unavailable i will someday meet someone who i can live with. I need to stop waiting for the impossible...i need to just live with reality and settle for something i need to stop waiting for mr. fantasy because he isnt real and never will be, not even if i think he is and go after him he isnt real and it wont matter anyways. Love isnt all that important.
Sitting in the tub i was thinking cause there isnt much else to do in a bathtub...well anyways i was thinking reflecting and all that jazz ya know? and i decided that i need to stop reading romance novels need to stop watching movies involving romance and need to just stop thinking about it because it is complete b.s. theres no use waiting around and wishing that some amazing man is going to come into my life and change everything....to make me believe in love again, there isnt a man out there to send shivers up and down my spine and love me the way i yearn to be loved because it isn't real...that is something that woman make up and fantasize and write about and send out the wrong impression that it is real making you imagine you have something when you dont...making you want something that isnt real making you believe in it and hope and wish and think about it when its not real...what is real is the here and now and i better not forget it..its living day to day its you know getting good grades and having fun with your friends and umm crotchetting teddy bears and your moms friends on methadone and your dad out on his boat and never coming home and your brother not setting the example...its being afraid of things but doing them anyways...its not this fantasy that i had been thinking about and its nothing of importance anyways....its not something i want even....i dont need a guy in my life im perfectly content without one so i need to stop even thinking about it, cause when i stop setting my affections for guys who are emotionally unavailable i will someday meet someone who i can live with. I need to stop waiting for the impossible...i need to just live with reality and settle for something i need to stop waiting for mr. fantasy because he isnt real and never will be, not even if i think he is and go after him he isnt real and it wont matter anyways. Love isnt all that important.