This is my day.
It's a list day.
1) Wasted half the day fretting over things that aren't within my power to control.
2) Ultimately, gave MooseMan permission to physically defend himself- within reason- if needed without fear of punishment at home as long as it was fully justified and as controlled as possible given the situation. Fuck being a victim and having to "be the better person." That's just messed up. If they find a way after all that's been done to mess with him again, I want him to be able to take care of himself.
3) Read something in a journal that I shouldn't have been reading, and it made me wistful, sad, and angry.
4) Did something secret.
5) Got my feelings hurt because I can't keep my mouth shut. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut, since I can't figure out with any regularity who wants advice (really) and who doesn't. I'd say I'd not made a big deal of it, but I put it on my list, so I guess I did.
6) Shirked my responsibilities ON PURPOSE this time, because I can't deal with them today. I don't know why, and I wish I did, because I don't feel good about it, but I did it anyway. I think I'm ready to be responsible again tomorrow, but today wasn't going to cut it.
7) Forgot to do two things that I really, really meant to do.
8) Tried to figure out if I am just horribly distracted by the death of my stepfather, or about to hit a really deep depression.
9) Wondered something I shouldn't have.
10) No, I won't tell you.
Good night.
1) Wasted half the day fretting over things that aren't within my power to control.
2) Ultimately, gave MooseMan permission to physically defend himself- within reason- if needed without fear of punishment at home as long as it was fully justified and as controlled as possible given the situation. Fuck being a victim and having to "be the better person." That's just messed up. If they find a way after all that's been done to mess with him again, I want him to be able to take care of himself.
3) Read something in a journal that I shouldn't have been reading, and it made me wistful, sad, and angry.
4) Did something secret.
5) Got my feelings hurt because I can't keep my mouth shut. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut, since I can't figure out with any regularity who wants advice (really) and who doesn't. I'd say I'd not made a big deal of it, but I put it on my list, so I guess I did.
6) Shirked my responsibilities ON PURPOSE this time, because I can't deal with them today. I don't know why, and I wish I did, because I don't feel good about it, but I did it anyway. I think I'm ready to be responsible again tomorrow, but today wasn't going to cut it.
7) Forgot to do two things that I really, really meant to do.
8) Tried to figure out if I am just horribly distracted by the death of my stepfather, or about to hit a really deep depression.
9) Wondered something I shouldn't have.
10) No, I won't tell you.
Good night.