just the 5 seconds in it i recall : TOO FAST AND TO FURIOUS

[louster]

warm...soft...sweet...blue black...one... smile...blue white...reason...sensitivity...my own prison......hate... Son of evil and serpent tongue...blue...Deliverer of hate, burn! burn!... Cartuxa... 97....fast... fast...parmegiano.. 550....Modifficato....english summer rain...turn....look...up.. sky....blue...down...black...left...nobody...right...wrong....soul...replica...there is no love...I am a duplication... Filled with hate... shotgun blast...run..gotta get away...blue...fear...factory...ld 51...This world rejects me...burn...stomach hurts...where am I?...acid...blue green ooze...away...life...no destiny...blue...mind...inner... coma...creator...hate everyone equally...Jay Kay.... pounds.....slit...throat...fly ... i can fly?....why do I always see your face?... why do i dream in a strange language?... why do i dream at all?..am i dreaming?....should have been dead on a sunday...the caslte crumbles... where's your crown?...king nothing...blue.. mourning... today is sunday?...mourning...blue black...no..this is all real.. i can feel the pain..3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510??... think.. think to much... think slowly....thing again...Like what?...like with what?...think again... fly fly... up up...oxygen?... oxygen?!? .. falling in love wasn't the biggest mistake i've made... blue... fly fly... no weight... no legs?... no body?...fly to the moon... red....blood...blood in my ear...run away from the people....blood from my ear!... do nothing...fly...i love her?...i love?...such a perfect day...i love her..i love staying with her...my hand in hers...hers in mine...such a confortable kiss...such numbness...time stops...stars shine...all sense goes away...WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MIND?....be back later...slashdot effect..never mind the bollocks ...top of a skyscraper...last exist...one step closer...I've been standing on the edge of the roof looking down...blue....Everybody always told me I was out of my mind...Standing on the edge and my step belongs to me...I won't miss what I see...blue....One foot over there's no time to turn around...Both feet are over and I'm heading for the ground...I'm flying in the air and I can feel the cool breeze...No space no time it's like walking on the moon...fall...falling....As I'm falling down ...I can see your tears fall too... black... fast...deceive myself...closer...hard..pain...blood...ground..can't get out alive...blue..last thought of you...hold the breath...so vivid....full stop..at ground level...level 0...game over...death.........................................................

woke up...

the true Death-diary of a madman, born as an agnostic christ