one of those nights

[lour_dess]

Just when I thought only Britney is on my playlist..."We are the reason" suddenly found its way into my earphones.

As I reflect the moments I've had since the trip to Israel..its remarkable how much I've changed. Of course I'm still the same ol, studious girl who would break out into a different person once under the influence of alcohol at night (oops).

Promise this is not gonna be a religious entry.

Here I am..typing this, being amazed at the progress HelloWorld has gotten, and the remarkable internship i've hard this summer. But what's lacking is my Mama...I really wished she was here to see how blessed i've been this yr.

You know, many of us complain how much our lives are boring, f*Ed up, or how much fun being overseas really is. At the end of the day..no matter where you are, its just who you are with that matters. And tonight, I really wished my Mama is here to witness all the stuff i've been exposed to this yr.

Even though there were days i was really angry...when having to:

• Come back from school just to save up that pathentic $$ spent on meals outside
• Handwash clothes to save on electricity bills
• Give 8 hours of tuition every weekend to pay for lawyer fees
• Face news reporters appearing at our doorsteps...only to call the cops cause i'm too tired to entertain them
• Going down to the police station at 7am in the morning
• Ask friends for loans of up to 100k knowing it's impossible to do so
• Stay at the courthouse till 2am cause you were afraid to come out
• Shout at you when I couldn't take it anymore..only to run out at night..making you really worried
• Making all of us cry and shout so much then

But now..because of all the above and many others...you've taught me to:

• learn for interest and not just grades
• be humble
• emphatize (not sympathize) with others
• be more confident and chat with people of diff backgrounds
• go for internships that I know i'd love doing even though others will judge it
• bring back my interest in creating things :) 
• treasure those around me more
• be a better listening, sister, lover (haha felt a small cringe when i wrote that)
• be more streetsmart..you've no idea what kind of request i've gotten while you are inside this yr (almost a re-run of yours)
• that being a failure...is not really being a failure. Failure is a perception by others, and the judge to that should be ourselves. 
• be a happier person

<3 you ma. even if you're not here everyday...i'm really thankful for how you've brought me up. Hope you'll be all smiles once you're out, with all your daughters loving the life they are leading now :))

Promise to bring you to all the places i've been bookmarking on my Firefox.