The One Shard
First off, in my defense, I told Jayne that I was going to tell everyone that he can knit. So in all fairness it's not my fault he didn't remember that and he must have known that after the shock wore off I would share the goodness!!:)
But I had smartly prepared for his "ire" by giving him a box of chocolate covered cherries at the game last night!!:)
Besides, I knew he'd never punch me out for that, but he'd punch Xander for it. Just because that's the way it works. Can't explain it.
Jayne: You! You and your LJ!! I started reading and I said "Oh no she's not gonna..."
Me: Here, I got you this to apologize for the week's worth of entertainment you gave me.
Jayne: *surprised* Thank you.
Me: No. Thank *you*! :)
So our game.. yeah, last we left our intrepid group our littlest party member (both in stature and ability) had whomped our collective butts one way or another. We start off almost where we left off. The group decides (Ha! As if they had a choice.) to leave her with the (mind possessing) shard for now. But comes up with a "clever" plan - oh I can't even lie, there was nothing smart about this plan at all. So many levels of why it wasn't going to work - and grab her while she slept and take the shard from her and smash it.
Problem #1 Can anyone roll double digits and actually try and grab a sleeping person. Oh I think not.
Xander (Ghost Cat): Okay, on the count of three you and I grab her. 1. 2. 3. Rah!
Jayne (Zak): *attacks*
Xander (Ghost Cat): *rolls dice* 4. Crap. It's up to you.
Jayne (Zak): *rolls dice* Oooh a 1.
Warren (DM): Okay, you two crash into each other missing Valindra all together.
Group: *no one moves hoping Valindra doesn't wake up*
Zoe (Valindra): *rolls dice* Nope, didn't hear a thing.
Xander (Ghost Cat): *phew* Okay, we try again. This time, you grab her, then I'll grab her. Ooh wait. First you grab her, then Vetch you take away her staff, then I'll grab her and then Two Dogs, you grab the bag the shard is in off her.
Struggle ensues, but they finally manage to grab the sleeping prone person. It helps that Jayne (Zak) has the enlarge spell who has her in a bear hug. Illyria (Vetch) wisely covers Zoe (Valindra) mouth so she can't cast spells. Forrest (Two Dogs) grabs the bag off her and runs off to where he had scouted out a nice heavy flat rock to smash the stone with. Xander (Ghost Cat) proceeds to follow to make sure Two Dogs doesn't get possessed by the stone. And Kaylee (Starry Night) follows to make sure no one screws up.
Problem #2 They purposely leave the easily confused and quite literal half orc asleep and out of the plans. Which is fine. As long as she doesn't wake up.
Zoe (Valindra): *Struggling for some time but enable to break free manages to scream*
Warren (DM): Uh, make your listen check to see if Little Tree wakes up.
Me (Little Tree): *rolls dice* 17 (of course.)
Warren (DM): You're awake.
Me (Little Tree): So..what I see is a ginormous Zak grabbing Valindra while Vetch is grabbing her head. Two Dogs is out of camp already, and Ghost Cat & Starry Night are almost out as well.
Warren (DM): Yup.
Me (Little Tree): Ooh Starry Night made us all small!!! (Little Tree has had the enlarge spell cast on her before and didn't realize it. In her eyes everyone else shrunk. So now when situations get bad she asks Starry Night to shrink everyone and make them easier to hit.)
Xander (Ghost Cat): *running* Crap. Uh..Two Trees come with me!
Kaylee (Starry Night) *running* her name is Little Tree.
Xander (Ghost Cat): *running* Doesn't matter, give her enough confusing information and she won't be able to deal.
Me (Little Tree): *blink blink* Uh.. What are doing to Valindra?
Illyria (Vetch): Keeping her safe.
Warren (DM): roll your sense motive
Me (Little Tree): *rolls dice* 20 (of course) Uh, it doesn't look like you are keeping her safe.
Zoe (Valindra): Little Tree help me!!!
Illyria (Vetch): Crap.
Jayne (Zak): Crap.
Xander (Ghost Cat): Crap.
Kaylee (Starry Night): Crap.
Forrest (Two Dogs): Crap.
Me (Little Tree): LET HER GO!!! *charging*
Zoe (Valindra): Whee!!
What ensues is slapstick comedy of Little Tree yanking Vetch off Valindra who then manages to break free of Zak and run off. Vetch is able to tackle Valindra again. Zak tries to grab Little Tree and misses. Little Tree tries to yank Vetch off Valinda again but is unable to. Valindra breaks free on her own. Zak grapples Little Tree while Vetch tries to grapple Valindra again.
Problem #3 Just cause the dog was lazy for you doesn't mean it was lazy for me.
The hunting dog that Xander bought has been the worst watch dog ever for him. He keeps watch for exactly for 10 seconds after Xander falls asleep then curls up next to Little Tree and goes to sleep.
Me (Little Tree): *to Zak* LET GO OF ME!!
Jayne (Zak): *grappling*
Dog: *bites Zak on ankle*
Jayne (Zak): OWWWWWW
Me (Little Tree): Good Dog!
A couple more rounds and Valindra is finally running off to where she senses the shard is. Vetch is in hot pursuit. Little Tree is still trying to break free of the hold. Zak won't let go. The Dog keeps attacking Zak's leg.
Me (Little Tree): *Finally breaks free* VALINDRA ARE YOU ALRIGHT?
Jayne (Zak): STUPID DOG!!! MAKING ME ANGRY (Zak's a barbarian)
Dog: *sits down wagging tail*
Jayne (Zak): GRRRR I'M GONNA KILL THAT DOG!! (raising sword above his head)
Me (Little Tree): *turns ready to stop him*
Dog: *using held action jumps at Zak and bites him in the face*
Jayne (Zak): ARGHHH OWWW *falls down bleeding*
Me (Little Tree): Uh. Oh. So there's no one in the camp but me, the dog, and bleeding out Zak? No healers in sight huh?
Warren (DM): Nope. You can try and make a first aid check.
Me (Little Tree): *weighs the options* Well... he didn't actually hurt the dog, which is very good in his favor. And Valindra's free... okay, I'll try and wrap a blanket around his head to stop the bleeding. *rolls* 15!
Warren (DM): That'll stop the bleeding.
Me (Little Tree): *pats Zak* there all better. *pets dog* Good Dog. *looks around at deserted camp not knowing where everyone went* Uh.. I'll keep watch. *sits down*
Problem #4 Mount Doom is nowhere nearby and a heavy rock can never smash an evil artifact.
After 4 rounds of running:
Forrest (Two Dogs): *picks up rock and smashes bag*
Xander (Ghost Cat): Don't touch the shard with your bare hands!
Forrest (Two Dogs): *smash smash smash* It's not working!! I can't get it to smash.
Xander (Ghost Cat): Wow. I hope there wasn't anything else important in that bag with the shard.
Kaylee (Starry Night): This isn't working! What are we going to do?
Zoe (Valindra): *shouting from a distance* Where are you? I WANT MY ROCK BACK!!
Kaylee, Xander, & Forrest: Crap.
Jayne (Zak): *Shouting from distance* OWWWWWWWWWW!!! STUPID DOG!!!!
Xander (Ghost Cat): Uh I'm sure he's fine. *runs back towards camp*
Forrest (Two Dogs): *runs further into woods away from Valindra's voice*
Kaylee (Starry Night): *runs after Two Dogs* This isn't working. We have to head back to camp.
Lots of crazy running in the woods, finally has everyone heading back to camp with a tenuous bargin with Valindra that someone else should hang onto the shard because it's causing so much trouble.
Problem #5 Out of the mouths of babes.
Everyone: *entering camp all at once* What the heck happened here!?!?
Warren (DM): You all see a ginormous blood pool. Drag marks show Zak in his sleeping bag which is also full of blood. The dog is licking his bloody paws while wagging his tail. And Little Tree is keeping watch.
Me (Little Tree): You're all back!!
Kaylee (Starry Night): What happened to Zak!??! *runs over to administer healing*
Me (Little Tree): He was bad and attacked me so Ghost Dog (yes, that's what Little Tree named the dog since it actually belongs to Ghost Cat and he never gave it a name) bit him. Hard. A lot. I fixed him! And put him to bed.
Xander (Ghost Cat): He's never done that for me. *looking at Little Tree* you owe me 30 chickens.
Zoe (Valindra): I want my rock back.
Forrest (Two Dogs): You can't have it.
Kaylee (Starry Night): It's bad, look what's it doing it's making us attack each other!
Me (Little Tree): Why was Vetch and Zak attacking Valindra?
Forrest (Two Dogs): We were trying to smash the shard.
Me (Little Tree): Did it work?
Forrest (Two Dogs): No. We need to find another way. I'll just hang onto it for now.
Xander (Ghost Cat): We'll have Starry Night talk to the Ancestors and they'll tell us what to do.
Kaylee (Starry Night): Uh.. yeah. *looks through book* Do I have that spell?
Zoe (Valindra): But I'll take care of it in the meantime.
More arguing ensues.
Me (Little Tree): I think you should all stop talking and GO TO BED!! I'll keep watch.
Xander (Ghost Cat): *blinking* That's the best idea I've heard all night.
Note: The chicken comment is because we are playing in a barbarian tribe type adventure. There is no monetary system, but we had starting money to buy our gear. So we started jokingly referring to the currency as chickens. Now everytime we see something nice we say "Wow, that must cost a lot of chickens!" :)
We pretty much after that just starting calling each Lord of the Rings characters.
Ghost Cat is Aragorn: "Oh, god I don't want to be him, but it does make sense why I'm so cranky and full of angst."
Two Dogs is Frodo: Oh man, I'm Frodo!?!
Valindra is Boromir: "Neat."
Starry Night is Gandalf: Swell, I'm gonna die. Though I do come back cooler than before.
Zak is Gimli (or Samwise): Where are we going and why are we in this Handbasket?
Vetch is Legolas: Well she's part elf, and uses her bow a lot.
Little Tree is Merry & Pip: I'm both? So I'm funny but cause a lot of trouble?
But I had smartly prepared for his "ire" by giving him a box of chocolate covered cherries at the game last night!!:)
Besides, I knew he'd never punch me out for that, but he'd punch Xander for it. Just because that's the way it works. Can't explain it.
Jayne: You! You and your LJ!! I started reading and I said "Oh no she's not gonna..."
Me: Here, I got you this to apologize for the week's worth of entertainment you gave me.
Jayne: *surprised* Thank you.
Me: No. Thank *you*! :)
So our game.. yeah, last we left our intrepid group our littlest party member (both in stature and ability) had whomped our collective butts one way or another. We start off almost where we left off. The group decides (Ha! As if they had a choice.) to leave her with the (mind possessing) shard for now. But comes up with a "clever" plan - oh I can't even lie, there was nothing smart about this plan at all. So many levels of why it wasn't going to work - and grab her while she slept and take the shard from her and smash it.
Problem #1 Can anyone roll double digits and actually try and grab a sleeping person. Oh I think not.
Xander (Ghost Cat): Okay, on the count of three you and I grab her. 1. 2. 3. Rah!
Jayne (Zak): *attacks*
Xander (Ghost Cat): *rolls dice* 4. Crap. It's up to you.
Jayne (Zak): *rolls dice* Oooh a 1.
Warren (DM): Okay, you two crash into each other missing Valindra all together.
Group: *no one moves hoping Valindra doesn't wake up*
Zoe (Valindra): *rolls dice* Nope, didn't hear a thing.
Xander (Ghost Cat): *phew* Okay, we try again. This time, you grab her, then I'll grab her. Ooh wait. First you grab her, then Vetch you take away her staff, then I'll grab her and then Two Dogs, you grab the bag the shard is in off her.
Struggle ensues, but they finally manage to grab the sleeping prone person. It helps that Jayne (Zak) has the enlarge spell who has her in a bear hug. Illyria (Vetch) wisely covers Zoe (Valindra) mouth so she can't cast spells. Forrest (Two Dogs) grabs the bag off her and runs off to where he had scouted out a nice heavy flat rock to smash the stone with. Xander (Ghost Cat) proceeds to follow to make sure Two Dogs doesn't get possessed by the stone. And Kaylee (Starry Night) follows to make sure no one screws up.
Problem #2 They purposely leave the easily confused and quite literal half orc asleep and out of the plans. Which is fine. As long as she doesn't wake up.
Zoe (Valindra): *Struggling for some time but enable to break free manages to scream*
Warren (DM): Uh, make your listen check to see if Little Tree wakes up.
Me (Little Tree): *rolls dice* 17 (of course.)
Warren (DM): You're awake.
Me (Little Tree): So..what I see is a ginormous Zak grabbing Valindra while Vetch is grabbing her head. Two Dogs is out of camp already, and Ghost Cat & Starry Night are almost out as well.
Warren (DM): Yup.
Me (Little Tree): Ooh Starry Night made us all small!!! (Little Tree has had the enlarge spell cast on her before and didn't realize it. In her eyes everyone else shrunk. So now when situations get bad she asks Starry Night to shrink everyone and make them easier to hit.)
Xander (Ghost Cat): *running* Crap. Uh..Two Trees come with me!
Kaylee (Starry Night) *running* her name is Little Tree.
Xander (Ghost Cat): *running* Doesn't matter, give her enough confusing information and she won't be able to deal.
Me (Little Tree): *blink blink* Uh.. What are doing to Valindra?
Illyria (Vetch): Keeping her safe.
Warren (DM): roll your sense motive
Me (Little Tree): *rolls dice* 20 (of course) Uh, it doesn't look like you are keeping her safe.
Zoe (Valindra): Little Tree help me!!!
Illyria (Vetch): Crap.
Jayne (Zak): Crap.
Xander (Ghost Cat): Crap.
Kaylee (Starry Night): Crap.
Forrest (Two Dogs): Crap.
Me (Little Tree): LET HER GO!!! *charging*
Zoe (Valindra): Whee!!
What ensues is slapstick comedy of Little Tree yanking Vetch off Valindra who then manages to break free of Zak and run off. Vetch is able to tackle Valindra again. Zak tries to grab Little Tree and misses. Little Tree tries to yank Vetch off Valinda again but is unable to. Valindra breaks free on her own. Zak grapples Little Tree while Vetch tries to grapple Valindra again.
Problem #3 Just cause the dog was lazy for you doesn't mean it was lazy for me.
The hunting dog that Xander bought has been the worst watch dog ever for him. He keeps watch for exactly for 10 seconds after Xander falls asleep then curls up next to Little Tree and goes to sleep.
Me (Little Tree): *to Zak* LET GO OF ME!!
Jayne (Zak): *grappling*
Dog: *bites Zak on ankle*
Jayne (Zak): OWWWWWW
Me (Little Tree): Good Dog!
A couple more rounds and Valindra is finally running off to where she senses the shard is. Vetch is in hot pursuit. Little Tree is still trying to break free of the hold. Zak won't let go. The Dog keeps attacking Zak's leg.
Me (Little Tree): *Finally breaks free* VALINDRA ARE YOU ALRIGHT?
Jayne (Zak): STUPID DOG!!! MAKING ME ANGRY (Zak's a barbarian)
Dog: *sits down wagging tail*
Jayne (Zak): GRRRR I'M GONNA KILL THAT DOG!! (raising sword above his head)
Me (Little Tree): *turns ready to stop him*
Dog: *using held action jumps at Zak and bites him in the face*
Jayne (Zak): ARGHHH OWWW *falls down bleeding*
Me (Little Tree): Uh. Oh. So there's no one in the camp but me, the dog, and bleeding out Zak? No healers in sight huh?
Warren (DM): Nope. You can try and make a first aid check.
Me (Little Tree): *weighs the options* Well... he didn't actually hurt the dog, which is very good in his favor. And Valindra's free... okay, I'll try and wrap a blanket around his head to stop the bleeding. *rolls* 15!
Warren (DM): That'll stop the bleeding.
Me (Little Tree): *pats Zak* there all better. *pets dog* Good Dog. *looks around at deserted camp not knowing where everyone went* Uh.. I'll keep watch. *sits down*
Problem #4 Mount Doom is nowhere nearby and a heavy rock can never smash an evil artifact.
After 4 rounds of running:
Forrest (Two Dogs): *picks up rock and smashes bag*
Xander (Ghost Cat): Don't touch the shard with your bare hands!
Forrest (Two Dogs): *smash smash smash* It's not working!! I can't get it to smash.
Xander (Ghost Cat): Wow. I hope there wasn't anything else important in that bag with the shard.
Kaylee (Starry Night): This isn't working! What are we going to do?
Zoe (Valindra): *shouting from a distance* Where are you? I WANT MY ROCK BACK!!
Kaylee, Xander, & Forrest: Crap.
Jayne (Zak): *Shouting from distance* OWWWWWWWWWW!!! STUPID DOG!!!!
Xander (Ghost Cat): Uh I'm sure he's fine. *runs back towards camp*
Forrest (Two Dogs): *runs further into woods away from Valindra's voice*
Kaylee (Starry Night): *runs after Two Dogs* This isn't working. We have to head back to camp.
Lots of crazy running in the woods, finally has everyone heading back to camp with a tenuous bargin with Valindra that someone else should hang onto the shard because it's causing so much trouble.
Problem #5 Out of the mouths of babes.
Everyone: *entering camp all at once* What the heck happened here!?!?
Warren (DM): You all see a ginormous blood pool. Drag marks show Zak in his sleeping bag which is also full of blood. The dog is licking his bloody paws while wagging his tail. And Little Tree is keeping watch.
Me (Little Tree): You're all back!!
Kaylee (Starry Night): What happened to Zak!??! *runs over to administer healing*
Me (Little Tree): He was bad and attacked me so Ghost Dog (yes, that's what Little Tree named the dog since it actually belongs to Ghost Cat and he never gave it a name) bit him. Hard. A lot. I fixed him! And put him to bed.
Xander (Ghost Cat): He's never done that for me. *looking at Little Tree* you owe me 30 chickens.
Zoe (Valindra): I want my rock back.
Forrest (Two Dogs): You can't have it.
Kaylee (Starry Night): It's bad, look what's it doing it's making us attack each other!
Me (Little Tree): Why was Vetch and Zak attacking Valindra?
Forrest (Two Dogs): We were trying to smash the shard.
Me (Little Tree): Did it work?
Forrest (Two Dogs): No. We need to find another way. I'll just hang onto it for now.
Xander (Ghost Cat): We'll have Starry Night talk to the Ancestors and they'll tell us what to do.
Kaylee (Starry Night): Uh.. yeah. *looks through book* Do I have that spell?
Zoe (Valindra): But I'll take care of it in the meantime.
More arguing ensues.
Me (Little Tree): I think you should all stop talking and GO TO BED!! I'll keep watch.
Xander (Ghost Cat): *blinking* That's the best idea I've heard all night.
Note: The chicken comment is because we are playing in a barbarian tribe type adventure. There is no monetary system, but we had starting money to buy our gear. So we started jokingly referring to the currency as chickens. Now everytime we see something nice we say "Wow, that must cost a lot of chickens!" :)
We pretty much after that just starting calling each Lord of the Rings characters.
Ghost Cat is Aragorn: "Oh, god I don't want to be him, but it does make sense why I'm so cranky and full of angst."
Two Dogs is Frodo: Oh man, I'm Frodo!?!
Valindra is Boromir: "Neat."
Starry Night is Gandalf: Swell, I'm gonna die. Though I do come back cooler than before.
Zak is Gimli (or Samwise): Where are we going and why are we in this Handbasket?
Vetch is Legolas: Well she's part elf, and uses her bow a lot.
Little Tree is Merry & Pip: I'm both? So I'm funny but cause a lot of trouble?