Runnin from the Cops!
Last night was so crazy! It all started when I went longboarding a couple blocks away when i saw that i could jump on this fence and climb on top of this building. So i went for it. I got on top of this fence and tried to pull myself up eight feet! I had to jump up off the fence to grap the lip of the building and then haul my butt over it. I couldn't do it the first time so i walked around the block then came back. It took all my strength to do it! I was totally spent by the time i got on top of the building. I then walked around looking down through skylights. I was about to climb back down when i saw this weird square box thing on top of roof. I investigated and found that it was a roof top entrance. I twisted the handle, damn nothing. I twisted again and lifted. Click, i'm in. I look up to see a bright light right in my eyes. Fear sweeps over me. Cops!....Oh man it is just a faulty light that clicked on. I duck down and wait till the light goes off. I then retwist the handle and in a second im shimming down the ladder. I'm shaking with a mix of fear and excitment. I pull my hat farther down on my head and flip on my LED mini light. Boxes and boxes of merchandise. I see a ladder leading down another level. I jump on it and happily swing down a couple rungs. I'm cheering myself on saying "Damn, i'm getting good at this shiz" Then i do a little dance and step on this cabinet and swing over to the main merchandise shelf and start going through the boxes. Thermal geek wear, "None for me please." Hmm sunglasses "Nope." "Ooo knives!" "Oops empty, oo what's that?" I see a bike so i have to investigate. It's a Bianchi! But it says boardwalk on it so im like "Eh eh, no" I see a mountain bike but i dont like mountain bikes there too heavy. "Hmm what was that?" My Bear senses pick up some laughter outside! I stopped rummaging through this box and stealthily scaled the shelf. I weigh 140 pounds so i'm not very heavy. I'm 12 feet up on a shelf moving fast towards the exit through the roof. I stop to listen intently!? "Hmm i still hear something"
I climb the latter with the flashlight in my mouth and i gently open the roof exit. "Damn there must of been a sensor on the roof enterance." I broke the first rule of theft; take no less than 2 minutes total.
I look out and see two cop cars sitting at the entrance of the building. "Ooo i get to play with someone." I take a good look and see they are either in their cars or looking in the building. So i make my way out of my cave into the light to make my escape! I hear more movement behind me. I hustle to the place i climbed up. "Haha suckers, i think i enjoy this stuff too much." I'm totally shaking with adrenaline. I drop what i have stolen in a bush and walk home scott free! I watch some tv and drink some water. Then i go back to find the box. I'm still a little nervous but i make it home fine. The box is half empty with no knife but the sheath is there. "BOTHER!" I find that i did all that for nothing. So i went back and tried to snap some pictures of them rooting through the building.
Whenever you go to borrow something here are the rules.
1. Where a dark hoody and a hat that possibly turns into a mask.
2. Where jeans and normal looking shoes (shoes should not have too much tread because of sound, but your preference) but wear a shirt and a pair of shorts underneath. So if you get spotted you can stash your clothes and act like your a late night runner. Trust me this has worked before. Oh and don't carry a watch, a wallet, keys and anything like a weapon. To the extreme for me is carrying smoke bombs and a lighter. Maybe some mase too. Have you ever seen those cop dogs?
3. Don't act like your looking around. Be direct and act like you belong there. If a cop eyes you, start picking your nose or scratch your balls or something. But do something to make you look entirely normal and don't stare at him or her. Wave real goof like or something and when your casually walking take off your hat! this is very important. If you wear a hat they will suspect you faster because if you look suspicious you are probably a criminal.
4. The place you borrow from has to be a good ways from the police station. Always know your enemy!
5. Take no less than 2 minutes when your in a building. Because police response times are often five minutes no matter where you are. They speed!
6. Know what you want to borrow before you set foot out of the door! If you don't know the specifics then your going to be thinking about things other than what you need. Then you could end up with shit you don't need or can't sell!
7. Trust me if you are scoping it out, look like a dork! totally wear some goofy ass shit that you never wear. They will usually just say "fuckin dork" or something like that instead of suspecting you.
8. Don't carry anything that is dangerous! You could fall on that and bam your injured. Carry a really small flashlight. I carry one that is a LED that is shaped like a triangle (about the size of a quarter). Carry a swiss army knife! This always works for me. I generally don't need a knife to get into what i want so don't carry it if you don't absolutely need it. And for god sakes don't wear or carry anything that is expensive. You can lose shoes, shirts pants or anything else running from the cops! Oh and tie your fuckin shoes tight but not too tight that they hurt.
9. Try not to ever steal from the same place twice. It is just like real estate! Location location location! And don't steal from your workplace.
10. Police questioning (who am i kidding, interogation!)Memorize an address that you can tell a cop anytime. I usually just say a number a couple off from where i live. And i keep the same street. I change my name too. It is rare though if i stop to talk to them. I usually just run but if im in the city i usually just tell the truth. Oh and speaking of the city. If your going to steal something it has to be way off from anywhere police go. If it is close to where they are dont steal! Just wait till a tuesday or somethin. If you wear glasses get contacts! Those things reflect light from headlights and flashlights.
The buddy system.
The major thefts require two people. Who ever your buddy is make sure they are family. Nothing else will do. I rarely let anyone come with me other than family. Anyway the buddy system requires a look out and the actual 'borrower'. The look out is also the driver. I don't ever use cars unless i can't come back for the merch. Cars automatically trace. Don't use them stupidly. Stealing is like a chess match. You have to win. A draw sucks but it's better than jail. If you use a buddy use this opportunity to get some walkie talkies. Use the ones with the ear peice because using the click talk thing can be noisy as fuck! And don't be cheap because cheap doesn't work when your ass is on the line. You don't ever want static. So be careful. Try some out. Basically think everything out. Be as random and faceless as you can. PEace out
I climb the latter with the flashlight in my mouth and i gently open the roof exit. "Damn there must of been a sensor on the roof enterance." I broke the first rule of theft; take no less than 2 minutes total.
I look out and see two cop cars sitting at the entrance of the building. "Ooo i get to play with someone." I take a good look and see they are either in their cars or looking in the building. So i make my way out of my cave into the light to make my escape! I hear more movement behind me. I hustle to the place i climbed up. "Haha suckers, i think i enjoy this stuff too much." I'm totally shaking with adrenaline. I drop what i have stolen in a bush and walk home scott free! I watch some tv and drink some water. Then i go back to find the box. I'm still a little nervous but i make it home fine. The box is half empty with no knife but the sheath is there. "BOTHER!" I find that i did all that for nothing. So i went back and tried to snap some pictures of them rooting through the building.
Whenever you go to borrow something here are the rules.
1. Where a dark hoody and a hat that possibly turns into a mask.
2. Where jeans and normal looking shoes (shoes should not have too much tread because of sound, but your preference) but wear a shirt and a pair of shorts underneath. So if you get spotted you can stash your clothes and act like your a late night runner. Trust me this has worked before. Oh and don't carry a watch, a wallet, keys and anything like a weapon. To the extreme for me is carrying smoke bombs and a lighter. Maybe some mase too. Have you ever seen those cop dogs?
3. Don't act like your looking around. Be direct and act like you belong there. If a cop eyes you, start picking your nose or scratch your balls or something. But do something to make you look entirely normal and don't stare at him or her. Wave real goof like or something and when your casually walking take off your hat! this is very important. If you wear a hat they will suspect you faster because if you look suspicious you are probably a criminal.
4. The place you borrow from has to be a good ways from the police station. Always know your enemy!
5. Take no less than 2 minutes when your in a building. Because police response times are often five minutes no matter where you are. They speed!
6. Know what you want to borrow before you set foot out of the door! If you don't know the specifics then your going to be thinking about things other than what you need. Then you could end up with shit you don't need or can't sell!
7. Trust me if you are scoping it out, look like a dork! totally wear some goofy ass shit that you never wear. They will usually just say "fuckin dork" or something like that instead of suspecting you.
8. Don't carry anything that is dangerous! You could fall on that and bam your injured. Carry a really small flashlight. I carry one that is a LED that is shaped like a triangle (about the size of a quarter). Carry a swiss army knife! This always works for me. I generally don't need a knife to get into what i want so don't carry it if you don't absolutely need it. And for god sakes don't wear or carry anything that is expensive. You can lose shoes, shirts pants or anything else running from the cops! Oh and tie your fuckin shoes tight but not too tight that they hurt.
9. Try not to ever steal from the same place twice. It is just like real estate! Location location location! And don't steal from your workplace.
10. Police questioning (who am i kidding, interogation!)Memorize an address that you can tell a cop anytime. I usually just say a number a couple off from where i live. And i keep the same street. I change my name too. It is rare though if i stop to talk to them. I usually just run but if im in the city i usually just tell the truth. Oh and speaking of the city. If your going to steal something it has to be way off from anywhere police go. If it is close to where they are dont steal! Just wait till a tuesday or somethin. If you wear glasses get contacts! Those things reflect light from headlights and flashlights.
The buddy system.
The major thefts require two people. Who ever your buddy is make sure they are family. Nothing else will do. I rarely let anyone come with me other than family. Anyway the buddy system requires a look out and the actual 'borrower'. The look out is also the driver. I don't ever use cars unless i can't come back for the merch. Cars automatically trace. Don't use them stupidly. Stealing is like a chess match. You have to win. A draw sucks but it's better than jail. If you use a buddy use this opportunity to get some walkie talkies. Use the ones with the ear peice because using the click talk thing can be noisy as fuck! And don't be cheap because cheap doesn't work when your ass is on the line. You don't ever want static. So be careful. Try some out. Basically think everything out. Be as random and faceless as you can. PEace out