Significant Additions
1.) DARFUR
1) Why did so few people even respond to my urgent plea for Darfur discussion awhile back? Go look - it's only like 3 entries ago and it is NOT too late.
2) WHAT HAPPENED TO DARFUR? No f'real. It was ALL anyone was talking about a month ago and now it's...over??
2.) LEXICON ADDITION
For those of you who never saw my small lexicon, you should go back a few posts and brush up on my terminology. Here is a new entry:
"Drawn in a different style" adj
definition 'One of these things is not like the other'...in a way that is both alarming and disturbing.
origin We had a retro Barbie Queen of the Prom board game growing up which featured 4 potential boyfriends: Ken, Steven ('the attractive nerd' aka Ken, but with buddy holly glasses), Butch ('the jock', aka blonder, paler aryan Ken) and POINDEXTER -- who related to NO IDENTIFIABLE ARCHETYPE AND COULD THUSLY ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS "Drawn in a Different Style."
example, lit. "Why are there like, 6 distinct versions of Santa Clause and then once in awhile you see one that's just insane and 'drawn in a different style?!'"
example, fig. "Why is it that when you're getting sick, or even when you wake up pre-coffee, you're just all water-eyed and 'drawn in a different style?!'"
3.) Obscene Watch: an important addition to the first Catskills weekend of '06
Disclaimer: I truly need Constintina's trusty digital assistance for this one. You will NOT be able to fully appreciate this from words alone. But. To make a long story short.
As we sat around the dining room table noshing and "visiting," Bubbe rustling through an endless pile of costume jewelry that seemed to be overflowing from under the table (looking for 'gifts' for us), my father asked "Hey ma, whadja do with the obscene watch you bought in Florida anyway?"
Laughing at the entirely "Golden Girls" script that my father had just read from (and for the record, he kind of *is* Bea Arthur in these moments), I prepared myself for a typical Bubbe defense (perhaps a shrill "there was no OBSCENE watch - it's ART Mark, COME ON"). But instead, to my great surprise, "oooohh! that's FUUUNNNNY! I think I left it in Florida though!" Elatedly, she left the table to rummage around in search of the "Obscene Watch."
When she returned with a large-faced generic-looking Man Watch with a red leather band, I awaited the punchline. Did it have some sort of abstract "art" on it that resembled qualite nudity? Perhaps some sort of chinsy depiction of an oldetyme naked statue?
Elated laughter and she handed me the watch. Appreciating her delight, I unassumingly looked down to inspect the watch. A large 70s font for the numbers, that incredible red faux leather band, Bubbe yelling "and it was 2 for $22!!" in the background and the words "Hours of Love" across the bottom of the face.
And then I turned it over to look at the back. My father and his mother looked on with identical anticipation and GLEE:
and there it was. a COMPLETELY porographic relief of a naked man and a naked woman standing on a BEACH, UNAMBIGUOSLY FUCKING.
My jaw dropped open (for like the 40th time on this trip) and my father and bubbe joined together in a veritable, COMPLETELY INEXPLICABLE "gotcha!" "That's what EVERYONE does when they see it!" she explained. "See, the girls at the store, they KNOW me, they know what I LIKE and they pulled me aside...and they said 'they like these, they could go for a lot more because they're SO funny' and they let me take it AND another for $22!! I just LOVE it."
And she definitely does.
1) Why did so few people even respond to my urgent plea for Darfur discussion awhile back? Go look - it's only like 3 entries ago and it is NOT too late.
2) WHAT HAPPENED TO DARFUR? No f'real. It was ALL anyone was talking about a month ago and now it's...over??
2.) LEXICON ADDITION
For those of you who never saw my small lexicon, you should go back a few posts and brush up on my terminology. Here is a new entry:
"Drawn in a different style" adj
definition 'One of these things is not like the other'...in a way that is both alarming and disturbing.
origin We had a retro Barbie Queen of the Prom board game growing up which featured 4 potential boyfriends: Ken, Steven ('the attractive nerd' aka Ken, but with buddy holly glasses), Butch ('the jock', aka blonder, paler aryan Ken) and POINDEXTER -- who related to NO IDENTIFIABLE ARCHETYPE AND COULD THUSLY ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS "Drawn in a Different Style."
example, lit. "Why are there like, 6 distinct versions of Santa Clause and then once in awhile you see one that's just insane and 'drawn in a different style?!'"
example, fig. "Why is it that when you're getting sick, or even when you wake up pre-coffee, you're just all water-eyed and 'drawn in a different style?!'"
3.) Obscene Watch: an important addition to the first Catskills weekend of '06
Disclaimer: I truly need Constintina's trusty digital assistance for this one. You will NOT be able to fully appreciate this from words alone. But. To make a long story short.
As we sat around the dining room table noshing and "visiting," Bubbe rustling through an endless pile of costume jewelry that seemed to be overflowing from under the table (looking for 'gifts' for us), my father asked "Hey ma, whadja do with the obscene watch you bought in Florida anyway?"
Laughing at the entirely "Golden Girls" script that my father had just read from (and for the record, he kind of *is* Bea Arthur in these moments), I prepared myself for a typical Bubbe defense (perhaps a shrill "there was no OBSCENE watch - it's ART Mark, COME ON"). But instead, to my great surprise, "oooohh! that's FUUUNNNNY! I think I left it in Florida though!" Elatedly, she left the table to rummage around in search of the "Obscene Watch."
When she returned with a large-faced generic-looking Man Watch with a red leather band, I awaited the punchline. Did it have some sort of abstract "art" on it that resembled qualite nudity? Perhaps some sort of chinsy depiction of an oldetyme naked statue?
Elated laughter and she handed me the watch. Appreciating her delight, I unassumingly looked down to inspect the watch. A large 70s font for the numbers, that incredible red faux leather band, Bubbe yelling "and it was 2 for $22!!" in the background and the words "Hours of Love" across the bottom of the face.
And then I turned it over to look at the back. My father and his mother looked on with identical anticipation and GLEE:
and there it was. a COMPLETELY porographic relief of a naked man and a naked woman standing on a BEACH, UNAMBIGUOSLY FUCKING.
My jaw dropped open (for like the 40th time on this trip) and my father and bubbe joined together in a veritable, COMPLETELY INEXPLICABLE "gotcha!" "That's what EVERYONE does when they see it!" she explained. "See, the girls at the store, they KNOW me, they know what I LIKE and they pulled me aside...and they said 'they like these, they could go for a lot more because they're SO funny' and they let me take it AND another for $22!! I just LOVE it."
And she definitely does.