What Happens In Vegas
This is a Harry Potter fanfic that is the result of my visit to Las Vegas about a year and a half ago. I love playing poker but the rampant greed, of both the visitors and the upper level managers/owners, really turned my stomach. Most of this story is true, especially the underfunding of the zoo, so technically its a MarySue. Sorry.
dedicated to my LMGs
PG-13
What Happens in Vegas
Ron had won the toss, so their first stay in the States was Las Vegas. Hermione tried to make it clear to him that stories of hitting the jackpot and being an instant millionaire were marketing tools, but while he nodded and agreed, she wasn't sure she was getting through to him.
She figured out the slot machines in their hotel the first night. They all had a similar pattern. You won slightly more than you lost until you reached a certain point, then you lost steadily with occasional big wins that never quite made up for the losses. If you could stop yourself when the losses began, and move onto another machine, you could make a modest profit. The trick was to quit when you were ahead.
The boys scorned her theory until they had nearly spent their nightly limit and she was three hundred American dollars ahead; then they tried it. It took a bit of time but they got most of their money back. Ron complained that it took nearly all the fun out of it, being able to predict the machines like that, and she wasn't using magic, was she? She nearly used magic on him then, in the form of a stinging hex, but she refrained. They did bicker in hissed and muttered tones until Harry pointedly moved a few rows away and a casino employee came over with free drinks and a jolly tone to smooth things down. Hermione didn't point out that the machines had charms against tampering.
They had a lie in the next day, trying to catch up with the time change as well as their drinking the night before. That afternoon they walked the Strip, taking in the amazing sights: the pyramid and the Sphinx at the Luxor, the golden lion at MGM, the skyline of New York, New York. They screamed through two rounds on the roller coaster, tried out the oxygen bar, and snickered at the medieval trapping of the Excaliber.
That night they tried roulette and craps, which Hermione concluded were true games of chance, though they did favor the house. Bored, she left the boys at the craps table and wandered about until she found the poker tables.
Something intricate and intense was happening here, she realized. She watched carefully as the table, starting with five players, slowly worked it's way down to two. The final winner, she was shocked to see, walked away with more than 45,000 American dollars.
She moved on to the next table, where the pattern of the cards was much different but the game was still called poker. The hierarchy of the card combinations stayed the same, but how the players got their cards and how often they bet had changed. She asked a passing casino attendant about it and was given a small booklet about the house rules for the different types of poker, but it mostly confused her, as it assumed a level of understanding she didn't have. She took it with her, however, as she collected her much poorer and somewhat sulky loves from the craps table.
The next morning Hermione tracked down the one casino gift shop that actually had books for sale, found four different books on poker and bought them all. She was half through the first when Harry returned from his endless search of decent tea with an almost acceptable black pekoe and the bright announcement of "There's a zoo!"
Hermione was unsure if Harry's love of zoos was entirely healthy, given his history. Then again, it was a harmless obsession unlike the other things he tended to brood on, so she decided, again, to let it be.
"It's got these rare apes and a special lion of some kind and a complete collection of all the native venomous snakes and reptiles! Can we go? Please?"
Really, he was adorable when he begged. Who could refuse him? Certainly not she and Ron, that was well established.
Too late for the zoo that day, they had dinner at a Japanese Steakhouse, where they shared the horseshoe shaped table with a newlywed couple and their friends, as the chef, at his grill in the centre, entertained them with flashing knives, flying food and a steady patter of jokes they didn't always understand. One of the wedding party was from Sherwoodshire though living for 6 years in America and he was definitely a Muggle, but Hermione wasn't too sure about his American wife. The wedding party was a jolly group, joyful about the wedding and friendly to all, and the trio enjoyed sharing the wedding dinner, a happy accident.
After the dinner the wedding party climbed aboard a party bus rented to be their moving celebration and the trio declined the invitation to join them. Full to bursting, Harry, Hermione and Ron leisurely toured the sights of Vegas at night. They drove their rental to Fremont Street and watched the light show on the huge, blocks long, street covering screens, took in the older signs and lights of the original gambling area, and then went to the Rio to watch the amazing suspended-from-the-ceiling parade. Back in the newer area, they saw the water show at the Belligio before snuggling into their own bed. They wanted to be at the zoo early, sure that in a city of wondrous sights and opulent shows, the zoo would be fantastic as well.
The zoo was not what they expected. The neighborhood was, while clean and well cared for, very working class. The zoo's tiny, three acre site was crammed with small enclosures. It was obviously underfunded.
But just as obviously, it was loved. The grounds and pens were clean and mended. The animals were content and well cared for. The snakes hissed at Harry about hot rocks and crunchy insects. The big cats lazed on ledges and and flicked their tails in content. The parrots and other big birds shrieked and whistled while the emus stalked about in an eternal snit, their big beaks making Hermione nervous about getting too close. The Barbary apes swung about or watched the people watching them, making Ron wonder aloud about who was entertaining who.
The best parts were the chickens and the children. A dozen peacocks and about a hundred examples of at least twenty different breeds of chickens ranged freely about the zoo, flocking to the people with the plastic cups of bird seed sold at the entrance. A shake of the cup would bring them running and a sprinkle of seeds would have them pecking about your feet. Ron had one feather-footed bird hop onto the table next to him in order to eat directly from his cup, and one diligent peahen followed Harry for the majority of their visit.
Most entertaining were the very small children, the toddlers determined to catch one of these feathery followers. The antics of children and chickens kept them laughing as they strolled about the small zoo. They even sat on a bench in the shade for over an hour, speaking little but content in the happy, relaxing atmosphere.
They stopped in the small gift shop as they were reluctantly leaving. As the boys messed about, debating what to get for friends and family, Hermione chatted with the attendant doing triple duty of selling admissions, seed and goat food cups and gift items, along with a mother waiting for her daughter searching for the perfect souvenir of their day. They were astonished that Hermione and her friends had stopped at their little zoo. She admitted that the chickens and children were her favorites and they all laughed together.
"It's very relaxing here," said Hermione. "After all the lights and noise on the Strip I was expecting something much flashier, but this was nice." She was trying to think of a way to bring up the fact that the zoo seemed short on funds, but wasn't sure how to do it without sounding like a offensive tourist, however, the clerk seemed to understand what she wasn't saying.
"We're a non-profit organization. We don't get any funding from the state or city, everything here is privately funded by contributions from individuals and some businesses."
"The hotels seem like they could help with funds."
"We don't get anything from the casinos. The big wheelers and dealers make sure nothing cuts into their profits. They do enough for the city, they say, by providing jobs."
Troubled, Hermione emptied her pockets of the Muggle money she had with her into the donations jar, and was sorry she hadn't brought more.
The trio stopped at a small Mexican restaurant on their way back to their hotel. They puzzled their way through the chalkboard menu with the help of the man at the counter, whose English was better than their Spanish. As they were waiting for their black bean and cheese burritos, he asked what they were visiting so far from the Strip, and his face lit up when Hermione said they had been to the zoo.
"Cheeckens, si! I go there with my little ones, they chase cheeckens! And pet goats! 'Daddy, can I feed goats?' 'No hijo mio, the goats too fat now!'" They all laughed, the goats had been immensely fat. Hermione hadn't been able to bring herself to pet them, their horns were too intimidating. It hadn't stopped the children, some who had draped themselves over the goats while scratching them and feeding them the little nuggets sold at the entrance. They goats put up with a lot from the children and so earned their well-fed look.
"The zoo clerk said the casinos don't give any money to the zoo. I thought that was surprising, considering the advertising they do as this being a family friendly vacation spot."
The counter man scowled. "Those people, they don't give nothing to nobody. The neighbor of my cousin, him, his wife and two sons worked at one casino. Laundry, cleaning, bus boys, si? They all working and their house burn down! Gracias a Dios, other children in school, no one hurt, but all things gone, si? Friends try to get for them money, they ask casino bosses, they say No! Ni un centavo! Greedy sons o- ", he mumbled the end of the sentence to himself, though Hermione had no trouble filling in the words she thought appropriate.
Their last stop that day was a souvenir shop filled with what Hermione thought was every bit of crap that could possibly have "Las Vegas" printed on it. While the boys loaded up with bladders that made farting noises and card decks featuring women with improbable breast sizes and men with even more improbable penis sizes, Hermione went out to sit on a bench in the sun and finish her third book on poker.
"Honey, you better be careful you don't get a sunburn with that pale skin of yours."
Hermione smiled at the woman standing a few feet away, lighting a cigarette. She was certainly the right person to warn about the dangers of UV exposure, as she was very tan and quite wrinkled under her heavy make-up. Her hair was teased up in a hairstyle fashionable in the States at least thirty years ago and she wore tight jeans and a short denim jacket that won't possibly close over the t-shirt that proclaimed her the 'World's Greatest Grandma!' The store employee name tag identified her as 'Hi! I'm Debbie! Ask me Anything!' Hermione had no doubt this woman would have an answer for anything anyone could think to ask.
"Thank you," Hermione replied. "I've been using sunblock everyday."
"You a Brit, honey? What brings you here?"
Hermione grinned, "Adventure. Romance. Curiosity."
Debbie grinned back. "Well now, I'm all for that! What cha been doing? Been here long?"
Hermione gave her a brief summary of their days in Vegas and made sure to mention the zoo.
Debbie laughed. "Did you chase the chickens or did the chickens chase you? I been meaning to get out there with my grandkids, mebbe we'll go this weekend. Did they get the water fountain fixed?"
Hermione, remembering the dust dry fountain, told her no, or at least it wasn't on when they were there. Debbie shook her head. "Prob'ly can't afford it. Wish they could, it helps to have a drinking fountain for the kids."
"They seemed quite low on funds. It surprised me in a city where money is so... important."
Debbie snorted. "The city won't budget any money without the go-ahead from the casinos. An' they don't give a shit, 'cuse my french, honey. Yeah, money's important, important it goes into their pockets! Well, they don't care about one old grandma thinks."
Ron and Harry came out then with their packages and Debbie gave them the eye. "These your adventure and romance?" Hermione blushed and Debbie laughed as she ground out her cigarette with a pointy-toed cowboy boot. "You go girl! Well, smoke break's over, honey, back to work. Watch that sun now."
Over the next several days Hermione, Harry and Ron drove out to Red Rocks Park, then to Hoover Dam and finally a long drive out to the Grand Canyon. It was all amazing and beautiful, but Hermione often found her thoughts going back to that little zoo and it's chickens and all the people, the ordinary people of the city, who loved them. What could she do about it? They had a strict budget of how much money they were going to spend on this vacation and she couldn't give much of it to the zoo. If only she could get a serious amount of money without wiping out their vacation funds.... She bent over the fourth poker book, an idea unfurling in her head as she studied odds.
Their last night at the hotel, Hermione sat down at the least expensive poker table, playing five card draw. When she had quadrupled her money, she moved up to the mid level Hold 'em table. She was visibly nervous, which made her fellow players smile indulgently, albeit in a predatory way.
They weren't smiling when she moved on to the next level table, taking a goodly portion of their money with them.
In the end, she couldn't bring herself to play at the high stakes table. Bets that high made her too nervous to concentrate on the cards. But when she cashed out, she had more than six thousand dollars.
Her boys were waiting for her outside the cashier's office, and offered her their arms as she emerged. Hermione strolled with Ron and Harry to their room, squeezing their arms and smiling happily.
"Blimey, Hermione," said Ron, "What are you going to do with all that money?"
"Oh, I already took care of that. I had them send the cheque to the zoo. After all," and she grinned wickedly at the surprise on their faces, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."
dedicated to my LMGs
PG-13
What Happens in Vegas
Ron had won the toss, so their first stay in the States was Las Vegas. Hermione tried to make it clear to him that stories of hitting the jackpot and being an instant millionaire were marketing tools, but while he nodded and agreed, she wasn't sure she was getting through to him.
She figured out the slot machines in their hotel the first night. They all had a similar pattern. You won slightly more than you lost until you reached a certain point, then you lost steadily with occasional big wins that never quite made up for the losses. If you could stop yourself when the losses began, and move onto another machine, you could make a modest profit. The trick was to quit when you were ahead.
The boys scorned her theory until they had nearly spent their nightly limit and she was three hundred American dollars ahead; then they tried it. It took a bit of time but they got most of their money back. Ron complained that it took nearly all the fun out of it, being able to predict the machines like that, and she wasn't using magic, was she? She nearly used magic on him then, in the form of a stinging hex, but she refrained. They did bicker in hissed and muttered tones until Harry pointedly moved a few rows away and a casino employee came over with free drinks and a jolly tone to smooth things down. Hermione didn't point out that the machines had charms against tampering.
They had a lie in the next day, trying to catch up with the time change as well as their drinking the night before. That afternoon they walked the Strip, taking in the amazing sights: the pyramid and the Sphinx at the Luxor, the golden lion at MGM, the skyline of New York, New York. They screamed through two rounds on the roller coaster, tried out the oxygen bar, and snickered at the medieval trapping of the Excaliber.
That night they tried roulette and craps, which Hermione concluded were true games of chance, though they did favor the house. Bored, she left the boys at the craps table and wandered about until she found the poker tables.
Something intricate and intense was happening here, she realized. She watched carefully as the table, starting with five players, slowly worked it's way down to two. The final winner, she was shocked to see, walked away with more than 45,000 American dollars.
She moved on to the next table, where the pattern of the cards was much different but the game was still called poker. The hierarchy of the card combinations stayed the same, but how the players got their cards and how often they bet had changed. She asked a passing casino attendant about it and was given a small booklet about the house rules for the different types of poker, but it mostly confused her, as it assumed a level of understanding she didn't have. She took it with her, however, as she collected her much poorer and somewhat sulky loves from the craps table.
The next morning Hermione tracked down the one casino gift shop that actually had books for sale, found four different books on poker and bought them all. She was half through the first when Harry returned from his endless search of decent tea with an almost acceptable black pekoe and the bright announcement of "There's a zoo!"
Hermione was unsure if Harry's love of zoos was entirely healthy, given his history. Then again, it was a harmless obsession unlike the other things he tended to brood on, so she decided, again, to let it be.
"It's got these rare apes and a special lion of some kind and a complete collection of all the native venomous snakes and reptiles! Can we go? Please?"
Really, he was adorable when he begged. Who could refuse him? Certainly not she and Ron, that was well established.
Too late for the zoo that day, they had dinner at a Japanese Steakhouse, where they shared the horseshoe shaped table with a newlywed couple and their friends, as the chef, at his grill in the centre, entertained them with flashing knives, flying food and a steady patter of jokes they didn't always understand. One of the wedding party was from Sherwoodshire though living for 6 years in America and he was definitely a Muggle, but Hermione wasn't too sure about his American wife. The wedding party was a jolly group, joyful about the wedding and friendly to all, and the trio enjoyed sharing the wedding dinner, a happy accident.
After the dinner the wedding party climbed aboard a party bus rented to be their moving celebration and the trio declined the invitation to join them. Full to bursting, Harry, Hermione and Ron leisurely toured the sights of Vegas at night. They drove their rental to Fremont Street and watched the light show on the huge, blocks long, street covering screens, took in the older signs and lights of the original gambling area, and then went to the Rio to watch the amazing suspended-from-the-ceiling parade. Back in the newer area, they saw the water show at the Belligio before snuggling into their own bed. They wanted to be at the zoo early, sure that in a city of wondrous sights and opulent shows, the zoo would be fantastic as well.
The zoo was not what they expected. The neighborhood was, while clean and well cared for, very working class. The zoo's tiny, three acre site was crammed with small enclosures. It was obviously underfunded.
But just as obviously, it was loved. The grounds and pens were clean and mended. The animals were content and well cared for. The snakes hissed at Harry about hot rocks and crunchy insects. The big cats lazed on ledges and and flicked their tails in content. The parrots and other big birds shrieked and whistled while the emus stalked about in an eternal snit, their big beaks making Hermione nervous about getting too close. The Barbary apes swung about or watched the people watching them, making Ron wonder aloud about who was entertaining who.
The best parts were the chickens and the children. A dozen peacocks and about a hundred examples of at least twenty different breeds of chickens ranged freely about the zoo, flocking to the people with the plastic cups of bird seed sold at the entrance. A shake of the cup would bring them running and a sprinkle of seeds would have them pecking about your feet. Ron had one feather-footed bird hop onto the table next to him in order to eat directly from his cup, and one diligent peahen followed Harry for the majority of their visit.
Most entertaining were the very small children, the toddlers determined to catch one of these feathery followers. The antics of children and chickens kept them laughing as they strolled about the small zoo. They even sat on a bench in the shade for over an hour, speaking little but content in the happy, relaxing atmosphere.
They stopped in the small gift shop as they were reluctantly leaving. As the boys messed about, debating what to get for friends and family, Hermione chatted with the attendant doing triple duty of selling admissions, seed and goat food cups and gift items, along with a mother waiting for her daughter searching for the perfect souvenir of their day. They were astonished that Hermione and her friends had stopped at their little zoo. She admitted that the chickens and children were her favorites and they all laughed together.
"It's very relaxing here," said Hermione. "After all the lights and noise on the Strip I was expecting something much flashier, but this was nice." She was trying to think of a way to bring up the fact that the zoo seemed short on funds, but wasn't sure how to do it without sounding like a offensive tourist, however, the clerk seemed to understand what she wasn't saying.
"We're a non-profit organization. We don't get any funding from the state or city, everything here is privately funded by contributions from individuals and some businesses."
"The hotels seem like they could help with funds."
"We don't get anything from the casinos. The big wheelers and dealers make sure nothing cuts into their profits. They do enough for the city, they say, by providing jobs."
Troubled, Hermione emptied her pockets of the Muggle money she had with her into the donations jar, and was sorry she hadn't brought more.
The trio stopped at a small Mexican restaurant on their way back to their hotel. They puzzled their way through the chalkboard menu with the help of the man at the counter, whose English was better than their Spanish. As they were waiting for their black bean and cheese burritos, he asked what they were visiting so far from the Strip, and his face lit up when Hermione said they had been to the zoo.
"Cheeckens, si! I go there with my little ones, they chase cheeckens! And pet goats! 'Daddy, can I feed goats?' 'No hijo mio, the goats too fat now!'" They all laughed, the goats had been immensely fat. Hermione hadn't been able to bring herself to pet them, their horns were too intimidating. It hadn't stopped the children, some who had draped themselves over the goats while scratching them and feeding them the little nuggets sold at the entrance. They goats put up with a lot from the children and so earned their well-fed look.
"The zoo clerk said the casinos don't give any money to the zoo. I thought that was surprising, considering the advertising they do as this being a family friendly vacation spot."
The counter man scowled. "Those people, they don't give nothing to nobody. The neighbor of my cousin, him, his wife and two sons worked at one casino. Laundry, cleaning, bus boys, si? They all working and their house burn down! Gracias a Dios, other children in school, no one hurt, but all things gone, si? Friends try to get for them money, they ask casino bosses, they say No! Ni un centavo! Greedy sons o- ", he mumbled the end of the sentence to himself, though Hermione had no trouble filling in the words she thought appropriate.
Their last stop that day was a souvenir shop filled with what Hermione thought was every bit of crap that could possibly have "Las Vegas" printed on it. While the boys loaded up with bladders that made farting noises and card decks featuring women with improbable breast sizes and men with even more improbable penis sizes, Hermione went out to sit on a bench in the sun and finish her third book on poker.
"Honey, you better be careful you don't get a sunburn with that pale skin of yours."
Hermione smiled at the woman standing a few feet away, lighting a cigarette. She was certainly the right person to warn about the dangers of UV exposure, as she was very tan and quite wrinkled under her heavy make-up. Her hair was teased up in a hairstyle fashionable in the States at least thirty years ago and she wore tight jeans and a short denim jacket that won't possibly close over the t-shirt that proclaimed her the 'World's Greatest Grandma!' The store employee name tag identified her as 'Hi! I'm Debbie! Ask me Anything!' Hermione had no doubt this woman would have an answer for anything anyone could think to ask.
"Thank you," Hermione replied. "I've been using sunblock everyday."
"You a Brit, honey? What brings you here?"
Hermione grinned, "Adventure. Romance. Curiosity."
Debbie grinned back. "Well now, I'm all for that! What cha been doing? Been here long?"
Hermione gave her a brief summary of their days in Vegas and made sure to mention the zoo.
Debbie laughed. "Did you chase the chickens or did the chickens chase you? I been meaning to get out there with my grandkids, mebbe we'll go this weekend. Did they get the water fountain fixed?"
Hermione, remembering the dust dry fountain, told her no, or at least it wasn't on when they were there. Debbie shook her head. "Prob'ly can't afford it. Wish they could, it helps to have a drinking fountain for the kids."
"They seemed quite low on funds. It surprised me in a city where money is so... important."
Debbie snorted. "The city won't budget any money without the go-ahead from the casinos. An' they don't give a shit, 'cuse my french, honey. Yeah, money's important, important it goes into their pockets! Well, they don't care about one old grandma thinks."
Ron and Harry came out then with their packages and Debbie gave them the eye. "These your adventure and romance?" Hermione blushed and Debbie laughed as she ground out her cigarette with a pointy-toed cowboy boot. "You go girl! Well, smoke break's over, honey, back to work. Watch that sun now."
Over the next several days Hermione, Harry and Ron drove out to Red Rocks Park, then to Hoover Dam and finally a long drive out to the Grand Canyon. It was all amazing and beautiful, but Hermione often found her thoughts going back to that little zoo and it's chickens and all the people, the ordinary people of the city, who loved them. What could she do about it? They had a strict budget of how much money they were going to spend on this vacation and she couldn't give much of it to the zoo. If only she could get a serious amount of money without wiping out their vacation funds.... She bent over the fourth poker book, an idea unfurling in her head as she studied odds.
Their last night at the hotel, Hermione sat down at the least expensive poker table, playing five card draw. When she had quadrupled her money, she moved up to the mid level Hold 'em table. She was visibly nervous, which made her fellow players smile indulgently, albeit in a predatory way.
They weren't smiling when she moved on to the next level table, taking a goodly portion of their money with them.
In the end, she couldn't bring herself to play at the high stakes table. Bets that high made her too nervous to concentrate on the cards. But when she cashed out, she had more than six thousand dollars.
Her boys were waiting for her outside the cashier's office, and offered her their arms as she emerged. Hermione strolled with Ron and Harry to their room, squeezing their arms and smiling happily.
"Blimey, Hermione," said Ron, "What are you going to do with all that money?"
"Oh, I already took care of that. I had them send the cheque to the zoo. After all," and she grinned wickedly at the surprise on their faces, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."