(no subject)
Dear Ma,
I think you should write to Glynna. She’s getting upset about all these things. I think it’s because there’s always so much crap going on with everyone around here. It gets exhausting. Anyway, Myr said something horrible to her and I found her in the hallway with Dari, just crying.
So I figure she’s doing that thing again where she wants to make everything okay but can’t. And the idiot obviously made it out like she’d made it all worse. It wasn’t her fault. How is she meant to know what’s going on?
Fiona
Dear Fiona,
That was such a wonderful thing for your to do for your sister, I’m proud of you. I’m glad that you’re looking after each other. You always were each other’s strength.
I agree with you that Glynna would never have caused a problem intentionally, but not knowing the whole situation myself it’s a little hard to tell, dear.
Are you getting frustrated with Myr? Make sure you don’t take this out on him. Whatever other people may do, it doesn’t justify our poor actions. Above all, he’s your friend.
I’m sorry you’re always going through these stressful situations with your friends. Are you all right?
Love,
Ma
Dear Ma,
Thanks for writing to Glynna. I’m mad at Myr for making her cry and that is his fault because he has all these stupid rules we don’t understand and he just expects us to fall in line which is dumb. I should’ve listened to Glynna ages ago when she said he was kinda an idiot.
Janus and Myr just live in this whole other world and all these things happen to them and the rest of us just get to be dragged along behind while everything goes to hell. And then we all get to deal with the shitty emotional stuff whether we understand what’s going on or not.
But Janus told Myr he should properly apologise - because apparently he’s too stupid to realise that’s the sort of thing you need to apologise for?
I’m so mad at him, and I’m not gonna stop being mad at him just because.
Dear Fiona,
Be careful my girl. You never can fully understand the road someone else is walking. Whatever it was Glynna did to upset him - she didn’t know it would, did she? Or she wouldn’t have done it. But to Myr it might have been obvious she shouldn’t have done it. We all have our own ways of looking at the world, and just because somebody else has a different view doesn’t make it wrong, and doesn’t make their reaction invalid.
Both you girls need to be more careful about calling people names when you don’t understand why they’ve done something.
I can’t quite understand Myr’s situation, it’s perfectly alien to me, and to you. But it doesn’t sound like any easy task, does it? He’s got far more responsibilities than most people his age. You and Glynna have the luxury of mistakes with little consequence. I think both Janus and Myr have had entirely harsher experiences with mistakes, probably much smaller than the ones you’re making now.
If somebody doesn’t first show us how to respond, we’re lost. And if our first lesson is negative then that’s going to temper how we respond to it in the future.
This is where you need to take advantage of your situation, Fiona. At the end of the year, you can come home to us. The worst thing you have to face is having to do some horrible work on the farm like feeding the pigs. Some manual labour won’t kill you. And you can complain about it to us and we’re just going to laugh at you.
What happens to Myr when he doesn’t want to do something? Do you know? Does he ever say he doesn’t want to do something?
I think both Janus and Myr would be very upset to know you think about it that way. It’s something neither can run away from. If you had a problem and Janus reacted as though you were dragging him unwillingly through the mud, what would you say? More importantly, how would you feel? I’d say betrayed.
These are your friends. Yes, Glynna is your sister and you have a loyalty to her, but not at the cost of any of your other friendships or relationships. If Myr made a mistake, shutting him out entirely is never going to fix it. It’s going to alienate more people than you realise.
When somebody hurts you, and you don’t tell them about it and discuss how to fix it, then that is on you. Holding on is poisonous - don’t tread that road.
Things are becoming more complicated, aren’t they? More than you or I ever imagined they would. You need to take carefully thought out steps now, my girl. One at a time, if you need to - it’s always better than rushing through and tripping up.
Next time you’re hurting and you don’t feel like telling me about it - think about what you always do when Glynna’s a little upset. You push and pester her until she gives in because you can’t stand to see her suffering. It’s better to just tell the whole world and be embarrassed than hold on to that.
I love you very much, my dear.
Ma.