Daydream believer
I day dream a lot. I just had one. This one is fairly common in my life. I think about it often. It is about death. My death. What would the world be like without Lou E Perella? Now I don't plan on taking my day dreams into reality but it could happen. Tonight's installment was me walking from my Lawrentian meeting with the expensive Lawrentian camera and someone mugged me and stole it along with my camera and my backpack. Then I thought about what the letter Dean Trusdell sent out would say. How would the campus react? Would anyone show up to my memorial? Would there be one? Who would be affected the most? How would my residents act? Would life be easier or harder for certain people without me around? All of these things rushing through my head tonight. Then the self worth questions came pouring in. Sometimes I wish I could die for a day to see where I stand with people. Do people see me as fake? As overbearing? As unfunny? As lame? Am I awesome? Do I stand out? Who the fuck am I? I am especially concerned with how others react. Of course there are a certain few. Did/do I mean anything? Am I easily forgotten? I feel like I am sometimes. Death for a day...just a day.