wild/tame
Sometimes I miss being wild. I feel that I have tamed myself by becoming sober (from cutting and drugs). I miss not giving a shit, and feeling like shit, and well, the freedom of the lack of responsibilities. I still struggle every day with wanting to cut, and other days, though not as often, I really just want to smoke a joint. I want to go out and do donuts at the park and almost crash into the telephone pole. I want to drive after smoking something laced. I want to make out with random drunk guys after getting high and use them for what I want. I want to be miserable, wear my hair in my face, and clothes that are too big, and write about hate. and feel nothing but burning anger pumping in my veins. man those were the days. but today, I'm tame.