sugar and spice right?
my insides fell down. fell down fell in falling out. my uterus fell down and is pulling everything else down with it. i've ignored it ever since my daughter was born. i pretended it was other things. i made excuses for why i wasn't going to go to the doctor. and it got bigger and bigger, worse and worse, until now my vagina has collapsed by the pressure of my uterus and my cervix has made it's way to about a half inch from the opening of my vagina. and along with my uterus has come my bladder and my bowels. it'll all go back to normal soon i said. and said. and said...you can understand right. it's not something you want to acknowledge. it's fricking weird and scarey and gross and wrong and somehow i felt like i could just hide it and it would go away. you know, post partem and all that. just my body taking it's time getting back to normal. well, now i am probably going to have a histerectomy. they're gonna take it all out. that or some other surgery, but that's the one they usually do for this sort of thing that usually doesn't happen to girls my age but old women who are falling apart everywhere else too. they can also do another kind of surgery, it's less effective and will usually fail within a few years. i just want to be right again. so if it's all gotta go then it's all gotta go. i never really was very good at being a girl anyway so i'm not loosing much. i'm not looking forward to hormone therapy the rest of my life though. i'll just be a little bit more puppy dog tails and snail shells and less sugar and spice. prolapsed uterus is what it's called, and then theres all that goes along with it when everything else gets sucked down with it. carrying big babies and getting them out caused it. ugh, whatever, sucky sucky sucky. weird sucky sucky. blech!