13 to Life: A Parody
Prologue: This Makes Sense Later
JESSIE: (all alone in the dark dark family barn, with two overly eager but rather useless dogs) I heard a weird sound...(decides to march towards it)
Weird shape materializes, followed by a huge nose and an amused Snort.
BEAST: I iz scaring you!
JESSIE: Denial Mode! Let's go eager useless dogs, its nothing more than our neighbor's dog on the loose! (Then she bolts the door, padlocks it, barricades it and booby-traps it just in case)
(Jessie's Dad in the morning sees what his daughter did and wonders if maybe she has too much time on her hands)
Chapter 1: Mysterious Boy is Mysterious...and Russian!
JESSIE: And my scathing editorial may have pissed off the wrong people (marches down to the Guidance Office) Maybe I should compound my problem by forging a teacher's signature and returning to class...
SECRETARY of OBVIOUS: Mr. Maloy is waiting.
JESSIE: Really should have forged that signature...
MR. MALOY: What was that?
JESSIE: Nothing! Nothing sir! My what is up with this group of people I don't know...and police officer...this isn't an intervention is it?
MR. MALOY: Say hello to the hottest boy at school. He's your obligatory love interest for the rest of the novel. Ignore him in favor of that boy you've liked forever now.
JESSIE: Can do!
MR MALOY: Good good. Peter Rusakova, who is Russian and Mysterious, follow Jessie, no you may not sniff her.
POLICE OFFICER: Got that Rusakova? No extramarital sniffing allowed.
PIETR: You spelled my name wrong.
Everyone ignores.
ELDEST STRANGER: Dont' worry Pietr wants to be here to learn!
POLICE OFFICER: Sure sure.
OTHER OTHER HOT BOY STRANGER: We were learning.
ELDEST STRANGER: family physical abuse!
No one questions this.
JESSIE: Should have forged that signature...
MR MALOY: What?
JESSIE: Nothing!
Jessie and Pietr/Peter rush out of the office and aimlessly waste class time by having Jessie point out rooms that have door plaques.
JESSIE: Gonna mangle your name six ways to Hell now. You ready?
PIETR/PETER: Hit me with your best shot.
JESSIE: Pie eater. Pacemaker. Payloader.
PIETR/PETER: STOP! I have never...that was...Its Peter.
JESSIE: But you said--
PIETR: I said they spelled it wrong, not said wrong. Peter. Just call me Peter.
JESSIE: Like my stone!
PIETR: Come again?
JESSIE: See I have this pretty stone my dad gave me that has some plot relevance later on abotu such things as transformation. And change. Stuff you wouldn't understand.
PIETR: Riiiiggghhhtttt. Normal Russian boy over here. Nothing sneaky or shifty about me at all!
JESSIE: What was that? You emphasized shift--
PIETR: ANYHOW. Interesting stone!
JESSIE: Yeah kind of like Romeo and Juliet.
PIETR: Come again?
JESSIE: What's in a name?
PIETR: I really hate that play. Not because I'm not romantic. Or well read. But because of...things.
JESSIE: Okay weirdo...who hates Romeo and Juliet? So...police?
PIETR: We decided to go to Europe for a few--
JESSIE: weeks?
PIETR: months. Normal family stuff. Hunting. Skiing. Turning into hairy beasts--
JESSIE: What? Turning into what?
PIETR: I think you may be hearing things. You should see someone about that.
JESSIE: So...nice safe topic. Where're you from?
PIETR: Farthington.
JESSIE: Where all those wolf attacks happened? I would have left too. They caught the wolf responsible right?
(pay attention kids this part is important)
PIETR: So they think.
JESSIE: I'm a journalist-in-the-making can I interview you? About you know...stuff.
PIETR: No.
JESSIE: But--
PIETR: No. I said no. No means no.
JESSIE: (busy plotting the best way to breach his defenses)
PIETR: (busy looking distracted and uncaring)
JESSIE: Do you care about this?
PIETR: Nothing really interests me.
JESSIE: Whoop-dee-do we can't all be mysterious Russians with possibly dangerous pasts. (opens door) Welcome to Lit weirdo.
CHAPTER 2: Yes These are Your Main Characters
JESSIE: (angrily marches into classroom, letting the door go into Pietr's face)
TEACHER: Oh no! (rushes over to help PIETR) I'll now help you in an overly familiar and slightly inappropriate way!
CLASSROOM OF GIRLS: We'll also oggle you inappropriately!
JESSIE: :smacks forehead:
PIETR: :not even mildly interested:
DEREK: :makes face at Jessie pointing to PIETR:
JESSIE: (silently) omg my old crush just signaled to me!
TEACHER: Jessie how did you get to show Pietr around?
CLASSROOM OF GIRLS: (training lasers, scopes and firearms on Jessie in jealousy)
JESSIE: We had to meet somehow didn't we?
TEACHER: And now...homework assignments!
CLASS: But Homecoming!
TEACHER: Will still be there. Trust me its important to the plot.
JESSIE: You'd never catch me there.
BELL RINGS
JESSIE: Pietr we gotta go. Move it IZZY.
IZZY: Math? I will walk you despite it being out of my way!
PIETR: Whatever.
JESSIE: For crying out loud...
What transpires is the walk of insipidness as IZZY fawns over Pietr, Pietr does his level best impression of a golem and Jessie ignores the pair of them as much as possible. Except
IZZY: You smell nice!
PIETR: You smell delicious.
JESSIE: (files away that comment for later contemplation.)
At Math Class door
WE LOVE PIETR FANCLUB are gawking.
JESSIE: (smacks forehead)
DEREK: What is up with that?
JESSIE: I can breathe I can breathe I can breathe...
DEREK: What?
JESSIE: Nothing! (smiles like a crazy woman)
PIETR: (Derek significantly, glaring)
JESSIE: He's just some guy. Not like he's anything other than an attractive, foreign, mysterious guy. What's so cool about that?
DEREK: So...you don't like him then?
JESSIE: Nope.
PIETR: (sending the glare of warning signal. Jessie ignores it)
DEREK: Not going to Homecoming with him?
JESSIE: Nope!
MATH TEACHER: No more moving along the plot with the wrong love interest missy! Time for class!
Math class is boring, as Math class usually is, and Jessie spends it wondering what the hell Derek was trying to say. Because he didn't spell it out well enough. Class ends.
PIETR and WE LOVE PIETR FANCLUB: (crowding Jessie's desk)
DEREK: (takes one look and flees)
JESSIE: Dammit! Now I'll never know!
PIETR: (intense look)
JESSIE: (growls)
PIETR: (eyes begin to glow)
JESSIE: Let's go! (shoves girls out of the way)
PIETR: To where?
JESSIE: Lunch? Duh?
IZZY: That's so great! We share a lunch time! We're destined for each other! Let's talk wedding plans!
PIETR: Where are you sitting Jessie?
JESSIE: With my friends?
PIETR: Excellent, I should meet them and assure them my intentions are honorable.
JESSIE: You should what? No I mean, the table's full normally. There's no room.
PIETR: Today's normal for you?
JESSIE: Well no but--(stops when Derek walks by with his jock friends and gives her a Look of Deep Meaning)
PIETR: (smacks forehead)
Chapter 3: Apparently Pietr is that Patient
PIETR: Lunch is extremely short here--29 minutes?
JESSIE: I bet you it reads like two minutes.
PIETR and the WOLFGIRLS (the newest traveling sensation) follow Jessie around, but Jessie loses them in the overcrowded lunch line. That's right its a public school with overcrowding issues--who's surprised?
JESSIE is thinking about Derek and is still wondering what he could have wanted to ask (we have to draw out the suspension somehow). We're than treated to a recounting of Jessie's crush on Derek (since 9th grade), her wondering why he noticed her suddenly (oh yeah she filled out out) and the fact he dumped uber-bitch Jenny.
JESSIE: Maybe he wants brains in his girls? (is her eventual conclusion)
LUNCH LADY MADGE: You're getting a mighty sad looking salad and yogurt there...
JESSIE: Its safer than the mystery meat done three ways. (hands over money) So...you coming over to work at my dad's farm?
MADGE: Darn tooting. Got a bit of help too.
JESSIE: This sounds suspiciously important.
MADGE: Time will tell. Now go scoot and gossip like normal girls do, we need to meet your friends.
JESSIE wanders off towards her table, eager to discuss the fact Derek talked to her. And made Looks of Deep Meaning towards her.
JESSIE's Friends:
Amy: Out spoken, kind of sly friend who likes to tease, argue and state obvious things to Jessie, since Jessie needs things spelled out.
Sophie: Quiet, smart, has an inexplicable dislike for Derek. They went out once and something happened. She wont' say what, so her discomfort is ignored.
Sarah: Reads a lot, says sometimes insightful things, kind of quiet, former Queen B(itch), Jessie's pet project that everyone has told her will blow up in her face, reading material gets darker and darker throughout the novel as a subtle indicator of her precarious psychological state.
Back to the book.
JESSIE: Derek spoke to me! I don't know why!
AMY: I see...tell us more.
SOPHIE: Gonna go into my corner and curl into a ball of grief. Guys? Anyone?
(everyone ignores Sophie)
PIETR: Are you daft he couldn't have made it clearer.
JESSIE: AH! How did you find me?!
PIETR: Homing beacon on you backpack. (Jessie looks horrified) Oh for crying out loud--you weren't that hard to find. Make room.
(everyone makes room with some grumbling, he ignores)
JESSIE: Introductions I guess are my job. Sophie--giggling!--Sarah--you too!--and--
AMY: I'm Amy. (pushes everyone out of the way) Hear you're Pietr.
PIETR actually smiles. Everyone is amused but Jessie.
JESSIE: Some friends...
AMY: We know the deal with teen paranormal romances. We either accept him, reject him or ignore him out of hand. We're making it easier for you to fall in love.
JESSIE (smacks forehead)
PIETR: So why are you so dense as to Derek McPerfect Smile's intentions?
JESSIE: (ignores him in favor of the wilted lettuce and possibly toxic yogurt)
PIETR: (while eating) Doesn't matter--he's way out of your league. Like Pee-wee football'ers (that's Soccer to your Americans) playing at the World Cup out of your league.
JESSIE: Orly? (death glare)
PIETR: Look at the math here. You're smart, straight A's and incurably curious. He's a jock. Survey says?
WOLFGIRLS: Out of your league!
PIETR: (looking smug) Exactly.
JESSIE (at this point I fully believe she would have told the Russian Mafia where Pietr lived. If they were part of the plot this early on. Which they're not, which is good for Pietr.)
PIETR: You know I'm right.
JESSIE: So? I get to be in denial mode about this for a few more chapters.
AMY and SARAH quickly call 911 to let them it was a false alarm.
PIETR: Well I thought you'd like a guy's opinion...
JESSIE: Have you heard of women's lib? We can think for ourselves--Izzy not withstanding. Sorry Izzy.
IZZY: No offense taken. Its my role, happy to do it.
PIETR (looking pointedly at the clock) Riiiight. Well being naive is going to get you into some serious trouble.
JESSIE: You smell like the forest in winter.
PIETR: Stay focused Jessie.
JESSIE: You don't know me!
PIETR: That's my girl. Very true! However as your designated love interest I have to show that I am looking out for your well being in a somewhat possessive, but infuriating manner. (gives her a smug smile) Plus you're stuck with me for the day.
JESSIE: Have one of the WOLFGIRLS show you around! (Tosses schedule out into the pack)
WOLFGIRL 1: Choose me Author Lady! I'm a better narrator! I have recommendations from all over!
WOLFGIRL 2: No no choose me! I'm bubbly and cheerful!
WOLFGIRL 3: Choose me! Just cause I said so.
AUTHOR LADY: No its Jessie's problem she's stuck with him.
PIETR: See? I'm your problem!
JESSIE: Did I kill your kitten as a child or something Author Lady?
AUTHOR LADY: You'll thank me later.
PIETR hovering nearby Jessie's shoulder.
JESSIE: Stop that! I won't leave you!
PIETR: (sniffing her hair)
JESSIE: What did we say about premarital sniffing!
PIETR: Oh now I can find you anywhere.
JESSIE: That's not creepy. Okay in total dereliction of my duties--I no longer feel safe with you--I'm going to be at your next class. Find it. Here's your schedule. (looks at WOLFGIRLS) Don't you help him!
Bell rings. 400 students come pouring from the lunchroom (for the record that's he size of my entire high school)
JESSIE: See ya!
PIETR: Did she even look at the subtitle to this book? (sighs and goes to find his next class)
[Chapter 4]
[Chapter 5]
[Chapter 6]
[Chapter 7]
[Chapter 8]
[Chapter 9]
[Chapter 10]
[Chapter 11]
[Chapter 12]
[Chapter 13]
[Chapter 14]
[Chapter 15]
[Chapter 16]
[Chapter 17]
[Chapter 18]
[Chapter 19]
[Chapter 20]
[Chapter 21]
[Chapter 22]
[Chapter 23]
[Chapter 24]
[Chapter 25]
[Chapter 26]
[Chapter 27]
[Chapter 28]
[Chapter 29]
JESSIE: (all alone in the dark dark family barn, with two overly eager but rather useless dogs) I heard a weird sound...(decides to march towards it)
Weird shape materializes, followed by a huge nose and an amused Snort.
BEAST: I iz scaring you!
JESSIE: Denial Mode! Let's go eager useless dogs, its nothing more than our neighbor's dog on the loose! (Then she bolts the door, padlocks it, barricades it and booby-traps it just in case)
(Jessie's Dad in the morning sees what his daughter did and wonders if maybe she has too much time on her hands)
Chapter 1: Mysterious Boy is Mysterious...and Russian!
JESSIE: And my scathing editorial may have pissed off the wrong people (marches down to the Guidance Office) Maybe I should compound my problem by forging a teacher's signature and returning to class...
SECRETARY of OBVIOUS: Mr. Maloy is waiting.
JESSIE: Really should have forged that signature...
MR. MALOY: What was that?
JESSIE: Nothing! Nothing sir! My what is up with this group of people I don't know...and police officer...this isn't an intervention is it?
MR. MALOY: Say hello to the hottest boy at school. He's your obligatory love interest for the rest of the novel. Ignore him in favor of that boy you've liked forever now.
JESSIE: Can do!
MR MALOY: Good good. Peter Rusakova, who is Russian and Mysterious, follow Jessie, no you may not sniff her.
POLICE OFFICER: Got that Rusakova? No extramarital sniffing allowed.
PIETR: You spelled my name wrong.
Everyone ignores.
ELDEST STRANGER: Dont' worry Pietr wants to be here to learn!
POLICE OFFICER: Sure sure.
OTHER OTHER HOT BOY STRANGER: We were learning.
ELDEST STRANGER: family physical abuse!
No one questions this.
JESSIE: Should have forged that signature...
MR MALOY: What?
JESSIE: Nothing!
Jessie and Pietr/Peter rush out of the office and aimlessly waste class time by having Jessie point out rooms that have door plaques.
JESSIE: Gonna mangle your name six ways to Hell now. You ready?
PIETR/PETER: Hit me with your best shot.
JESSIE: Pie eater. Pacemaker. Payloader.
PIETR/PETER: STOP! I have never...that was...Its Peter.
JESSIE: But you said--
PIETR: I said they spelled it wrong, not said wrong. Peter. Just call me Peter.
JESSIE: Like my stone!
PIETR: Come again?
JESSIE: See I have this pretty stone my dad gave me that has some plot relevance later on abotu such things as transformation. And change. Stuff you wouldn't understand.
PIETR: Riiiiggghhhtttt. Normal Russian boy over here. Nothing sneaky or shifty about me at all!
JESSIE: What was that? You emphasized shift--
PIETR: ANYHOW. Interesting stone!
JESSIE: Yeah kind of like Romeo and Juliet.
PIETR: Come again?
JESSIE: What's in a name?
PIETR: I really hate that play. Not because I'm not romantic. Or well read. But because of...things.
JESSIE: Okay weirdo...who hates Romeo and Juliet? So...police?
PIETR: We decided to go to Europe for a few--
JESSIE: weeks?
PIETR: months. Normal family stuff. Hunting. Skiing. Turning into hairy beasts--
JESSIE: What? Turning into what?
PIETR: I think you may be hearing things. You should see someone about that.
JESSIE: So...nice safe topic. Where're you from?
PIETR: Farthington.
JESSIE: Where all those wolf attacks happened? I would have left too. They caught the wolf responsible right?
(pay attention kids this part is important)
PIETR: So they think.
JESSIE: I'm a journalist-in-the-making can I interview you? About you know...stuff.
PIETR: No.
JESSIE: But--
PIETR: No. I said no. No means no.
JESSIE: (busy plotting the best way to breach his defenses)
PIETR: (busy looking distracted and uncaring)
JESSIE: Do you care about this?
PIETR: Nothing really interests me.
JESSIE: Whoop-dee-do we can't all be mysterious Russians with possibly dangerous pasts. (opens door) Welcome to Lit weirdo.
CHAPTER 2: Yes These are Your Main Characters
JESSIE: (angrily marches into classroom, letting the door go into Pietr's face)
TEACHER: Oh no! (rushes over to help PIETR) I'll now help you in an overly familiar and slightly inappropriate way!
CLASSROOM OF GIRLS: We'll also oggle you inappropriately!
JESSIE: :smacks forehead:
PIETR: :not even mildly interested:
DEREK: :makes face at Jessie pointing to PIETR:
JESSIE: (silently) omg my old crush just signaled to me!
TEACHER: Jessie how did you get to show Pietr around?
CLASSROOM OF GIRLS: (training lasers, scopes and firearms on Jessie in jealousy)
JESSIE: We had to meet somehow didn't we?
TEACHER: And now...homework assignments!
CLASS: But Homecoming!
TEACHER: Will still be there. Trust me its important to the plot.
JESSIE: You'd never catch me there.
BELL RINGS
JESSIE: Pietr we gotta go. Move it IZZY.
IZZY: Math? I will walk you despite it being out of my way!
PIETR: Whatever.
JESSIE: For crying out loud...
What transpires is the walk of insipidness as IZZY fawns over Pietr, Pietr does his level best impression of a golem and Jessie ignores the pair of them as much as possible. Except
IZZY: You smell nice!
PIETR: You smell delicious.
JESSIE: (files away that comment for later contemplation.)
At Math Class door
WE LOVE PIETR FANCLUB are gawking.
JESSIE: (smacks forehead)
DEREK: What is up with that?
JESSIE: I can breathe I can breathe I can breathe...
DEREK: What?
JESSIE: Nothing! (smiles like a crazy woman)
PIETR: (Derek significantly, glaring)
JESSIE: He's just some guy. Not like he's anything other than an attractive, foreign, mysterious guy. What's so cool about that?
DEREK: So...you don't like him then?
JESSIE: Nope.
PIETR: (sending the glare of warning signal. Jessie ignores it)
DEREK: Not going to Homecoming with him?
JESSIE: Nope!
MATH TEACHER: No more moving along the plot with the wrong love interest missy! Time for class!
Math class is boring, as Math class usually is, and Jessie spends it wondering what the hell Derek was trying to say. Because he didn't spell it out well enough. Class ends.
PIETR and WE LOVE PIETR FANCLUB: (crowding Jessie's desk)
DEREK: (takes one look and flees)
JESSIE: Dammit! Now I'll never know!
PIETR: (intense look)
JESSIE: (growls)
PIETR: (eyes begin to glow)
JESSIE: Let's go! (shoves girls out of the way)
PIETR: To where?
JESSIE: Lunch? Duh?
IZZY: That's so great! We share a lunch time! We're destined for each other! Let's talk wedding plans!
PIETR: Where are you sitting Jessie?
JESSIE: With my friends?
PIETR: Excellent, I should meet them and assure them my intentions are honorable.
JESSIE: You should what? No I mean, the table's full normally. There's no room.
PIETR: Today's normal for you?
JESSIE: Well no but--(stops when Derek walks by with his jock friends and gives her a Look of Deep Meaning)
PIETR: (smacks forehead)
Chapter 3: Apparently Pietr is that Patient
PIETR: Lunch is extremely short here--29 minutes?
JESSIE: I bet you it reads like two minutes.
PIETR and the WOLFGIRLS (the newest traveling sensation) follow Jessie around, but Jessie loses them in the overcrowded lunch line. That's right its a public school with overcrowding issues--who's surprised?
JESSIE is thinking about Derek and is still wondering what he could have wanted to ask (we have to draw out the suspension somehow). We're than treated to a recounting of Jessie's crush on Derek (since 9th grade), her wondering why he noticed her suddenly (oh yeah she filled out out) and the fact he dumped uber-bitch Jenny.
JESSIE: Maybe he wants brains in his girls? (is her eventual conclusion)
LUNCH LADY MADGE: You're getting a mighty sad looking salad and yogurt there...
JESSIE: Its safer than the mystery meat done three ways. (hands over money) So...you coming over to work at my dad's farm?
MADGE: Darn tooting. Got a bit of help too.
JESSIE: This sounds suspiciously important.
MADGE: Time will tell. Now go scoot and gossip like normal girls do, we need to meet your friends.
JESSIE wanders off towards her table, eager to discuss the fact Derek talked to her. And made Looks of Deep Meaning towards her.
JESSIE's Friends:
Amy: Out spoken, kind of sly friend who likes to tease, argue and state obvious things to Jessie, since Jessie needs things spelled out.
Sophie: Quiet, smart, has an inexplicable dislike for Derek. They went out once and something happened. She wont' say what, so her discomfort is ignored.
Sarah: Reads a lot, says sometimes insightful things, kind of quiet, former Queen B(itch), Jessie's pet project that everyone has told her will blow up in her face, reading material gets darker and darker throughout the novel as a subtle indicator of her precarious psychological state.
Back to the book.
JESSIE: Derek spoke to me! I don't know why!
AMY: I see...tell us more.
SOPHIE: Gonna go into my corner and curl into a ball of grief. Guys? Anyone?
(everyone ignores Sophie)
PIETR: Are you daft he couldn't have made it clearer.
JESSIE: AH! How did you find me?!
PIETR: Homing beacon on you backpack. (Jessie looks horrified) Oh for crying out loud--you weren't that hard to find. Make room.
(everyone makes room with some grumbling, he ignores)
JESSIE: Introductions I guess are my job. Sophie--giggling!--Sarah--you too!--and--
AMY: I'm Amy. (pushes everyone out of the way) Hear you're Pietr.
PIETR actually smiles. Everyone is amused but Jessie.
JESSIE: Some friends...
AMY: We know the deal with teen paranormal romances. We either accept him, reject him or ignore him out of hand. We're making it easier for you to fall in love.
JESSIE (smacks forehead)
PIETR: So why are you so dense as to Derek McPerfect Smile's intentions?
JESSIE: (ignores him in favor of the wilted lettuce and possibly toxic yogurt)
PIETR: (while eating) Doesn't matter--he's way out of your league. Like Pee-wee football'ers (that's Soccer to your Americans) playing at the World Cup out of your league.
JESSIE: Orly? (death glare)
PIETR: Look at the math here. You're smart, straight A's and incurably curious. He's a jock. Survey says?
WOLFGIRLS: Out of your league!
PIETR: (looking smug) Exactly.
JESSIE (at this point I fully believe she would have told the Russian Mafia where Pietr lived. If they were part of the plot this early on. Which they're not, which is good for Pietr.)
PIETR: You know I'm right.
JESSIE: So? I get to be in denial mode about this for a few more chapters.
AMY and SARAH quickly call 911 to let them it was a false alarm.
PIETR: Well I thought you'd like a guy's opinion...
JESSIE: Have you heard of women's lib? We can think for ourselves--Izzy not withstanding. Sorry Izzy.
IZZY: No offense taken. Its my role, happy to do it.
PIETR (looking pointedly at the clock) Riiiight. Well being naive is going to get you into some serious trouble.
JESSIE: You smell like the forest in winter.
PIETR: Stay focused Jessie.
JESSIE: You don't know me!
PIETR: That's my girl. Very true! However as your designated love interest I have to show that I am looking out for your well being in a somewhat possessive, but infuriating manner. (gives her a smug smile) Plus you're stuck with me for the day.
JESSIE: Have one of the WOLFGIRLS show you around! (Tosses schedule out into the pack)
WOLFGIRL 1: Choose me Author Lady! I'm a better narrator! I have recommendations from all over!
WOLFGIRL 2: No no choose me! I'm bubbly and cheerful!
WOLFGIRL 3: Choose me! Just cause I said so.
AUTHOR LADY: No its Jessie's problem she's stuck with him.
PIETR: See? I'm your problem!
JESSIE: Did I kill your kitten as a child or something Author Lady?
AUTHOR LADY: You'll thank me later.
PIETR hovering nearby Jessie's shoulder.
JESSIE: Stop that! I won't leave you!
PIETR: (sniffing her hair)
JESSIE: What did we say about premarital sniffing!
PIETR: Oh now I can find you anywhere.
JESSIE: That's not creepy. Okay in total dereliction of my duties--I no longer feel safe with you--I'm going to be at your next class. Find it. Here's your schedule. (looks at WOLFGIRLS) Don't you help him!
Bell rings. 400 students come pouring from the lunchroom (for the record that's he size of my entire high school)
JESSIE: See ya!
PIETR: Did she even look at the subtitle to this book? (sighs and goes to find his next class)
[Chapter 4]
[Chapter 5]
[Chapter 6]
[Chapter 7]
[Chapter 8]
[Chapter 9]
[Chapter 10]
[Chapter 11]
[Chapter 12]
[Chapter 13]
[Chapter 14]
[Chapter 15]
[Chapter 16]
[Chapter 17]
[Chapter 18]
[Chapter 19]
[Chapter 20]
[Chapter 21]
[Chapter 22]
[Chapter 23]
[Chapter 24]
[Chapter 25]
[Chapter 26]
[Chapter 27]
[Chapter 28]
[Chapter 29]